will work for shoes

the secret to a happy marriage.

2012-01-29T17:14:00.002-05:00

Mr. KK and I have found the key to marital bliss.

And I don't mean 'his and hers' sinks.

We discovered Command Picture Hanging Strips.

Go ahead. Laugh.

We do MANY home improvement projects together. We just renovated an entire house without killing each other.

We put up a cork backsplash.

We painted 8 rooms, and a gazillion feet of trim.

We laid a tile floor.

We're quite a team.

But when it comes to hanging stuff on the walls and actually making our house look lived in? Well, that's another story.

We've both blocked out the memories of decorating the walls in our last house. It was a beautiful 1930 Colonial with plaster walls. Have you ever tried to hang something in a plaster wall? You can't use nails. You need screws and plastic anchors and a broom to sweep the floor when a three-inch chunk of wall smashes onto the floor. And if you make a mistake? Oh, the horror! Then you have a series of holes in the plaster. As I said, we've blocked out most of those nights, having barely survived.

The walls in the new house are made of sheet rock.

But even then, the thought of us tackling the job of hanging items and putting holes in all the walls simply terrified me. We certainly didn't need a night of swearing and frustration, and the possible tossing of tools.

So when we saw these Command saviors in the store, we just had to try them.

We've used the hooks before all around our house - for hangers in my closet, to hold towels on the back of the bathroom door, and to secure dish towels in the kitchen cabinets.

We took a chance and hung three picture frames in our bedroom - in a straight line and symmetrical. Had we been using nails and screws, this job might have taken us hours and put us over the edge.

But with these little miracle workers, we were done in 10 minutes. So we tackled some frames in the hallway. 5 minutes. Then we put 2 pictures up in our bathroom. 7 minutes.

And the best part?

We didn't kill each other.

And the house looks great.

west coast woes.

2012-01-24T10:46:00.003-05:00

I'm traveling for work.

I'm on the West Coast for the week, attending client meetings and brand immersions. And missing Mr. KK and Vito.

But, the bright side, is that in-between meetings (which are inconveniently planned for Monday and Thursday, making it necessary that I stay for the WHOLE week), I'm visiting with Mr. KK's family, whom we don't see very often. Oh, and I'm saving a shit load of money on hotel expenses while I'm at it. (You're welcome, Agency X).

Oh, did I mention I was sick? Yep. Clogged ears. Tunnel hearing. Mucus. (yes, I went there.)

And I get up at 3:30am because my internal clock is on 'east coast' time. Which, to my body, is really 6:30am. So technically, I'm sleeping in.

Yesterday, though, I got a sweet little taste of home while riding the BART (the Bay Area's version of the subway. Except it's clean. And easy to navigate. And the enunciate each stop. And clean.). I hopped on to heard to Mr. KK's family house, which was 6 stops away.

There's a saying that goes something like this, "If you don't like the weather in New England, wait a minute."

I rode that rain for 20 minutes and witnessed the following weather:

When I got on: overcast, but bright

Stop 1: cloudy

Stop 2: clouds and wind

Stop 3: pouring rain

Stop 4: overcast

Stop 5: misting

Stop 6: bright and almost sunny

And the best part is, everyone who knows I'm here is asking, "how's sunny california??"

It seems California is confused and having an identity issue.

customer service FAIL.

2012-01-20T08:43:00.002-05:00

If you haven't heard about the breach of security at zappos.com by now, you're either returning from a month-long hiatus at an ashram, or dusting your jeans off after crawling out from under that rock.

(if I've offended you and you really haven't heard what happened, you can read the gory details here)

I heard about the breach on Monday, and immediately changed my password. Then freaked out that my identity was going to be stolen. Then remembered how disappointed they'd be when they saw my bank account.

That was Monday.

On Wednesday, I got an email from Zappos telling me about the security breach. Did you catch that? WEDNESDAY.

Security breach news: Monday.

Security breach news from Zappos: Wednesday.

I was so appalled that I responded to their email.

It went something (exactly) like this:

"Wow. I can't believe I'm only getting this email now, TWO WHOLE DAYS after the story broke. I changed my password when I first read about what happened. For a company who boasts excellent customer service, I thought you'd be more on the ball."

(That was me being nice.)

((Also, I heard the founder of Zappos.com speak once, and the topic of the seminar was "Fabulous Customer Service". They may need a new speech writer.))

To Zappos.com's credit, I got a response. First I got the automated 'thanks for your email, you're important to us' email. (Though I'm starting to think they need to re-think this email a bit, as I don't feel very important with my secure information being hacked and all that...)

Then I got this email from them:

"Hello,

Thank you for contacting the Zappos.com Customer Loyalty Team.

We sincerely apologize that you heard about this serious matter through media reports before you received the email from us. We are working through sending email notifications to 24 million customers and that takes roughly 24 hours to do.

Once again we would like to apologize for the inconvenience that this may have caused you. At Zappos.com, we understand the importance of the customer experience, which includes the website, customer service and support, security and peace of mind, as well as the actual fulfillment and timely delivery of your order. We sincerely hope you will give us the opportunity to prove our commitment to this in the future."

Hmmm. A few things, Zappos:

1. you're upset I heard about the news in the media before I heard it from you? well, you took TWO DAYS to send me an email.

2. you need 24 hours to send an email? really? in 2012?

3. apparently you're bad at customer service AND math, because you didn't send me an email until 48 hours after the breach.

Sorry, Zappos. We're on a break.

I'm a loyal Piperlime girl now.

and this is where the bike veered off the road.

2012-01-15T08:20:00.003-05:00

I just survived my second week back at Agency X. The old cliché holds true, it truly has been like riding a bike. I'm back in my comfort zone, I had a few of those, "I still GOT IT!" moments, and people are actually listening to me. The bike ride was going really well.

And then, this phone call happened.

It looks like I will be traveling for the first time at the end of the month. I'm headed to the West Coast for some 'brand immersion' meetings. (I LOVE when clients give meetings ridiculous names, like 'Operation Thunderbolt' and 'Meeting of the Minds'. I definitely missed that.)

I am attending these meetings with an account person from one of our other offices whom I've never met.

We were on a call and she was downloading me, and then things got weird.

KK: "So I'll book my flights and share my itinerary with you, and you do the same."

ACCOUNT PERSON: "Will do. I'm so happy you're going with me."

I thought this was nice, considering she's never met me. Perhaps she heard wonderful things?

(Pause)

AP: "So, you DO know I had a brain aneurysm in May, right?"

Oh, so that's how this conversation is going to go???

KK: "Oh! Um, wow. No! No, I didn't."

AP: "Yes. I almost died. I had a brain aneurysm, slipped into a coma and almost died. I just came back to work a few months ago."

KK: "Well, are YOU okay to fly?"

AR: "I don't know. We'll see. That's why I'm glad you're going to be there, just in case anything happens to me."

Hmm. Last I checked, during my hiatus from Agency X, I didn't obtain a medical degree.

I don't even watch Grey's Anatomy.

KK: "Sure thing! I'm great in emergency situations!"

I am? Since when??? I've never been in a emergency situation! (knock on wood)

If there was any part of me that didn't want to go on this trip before this conversation (and there was - I'll be gone for a week, I'm flying the red-eye home, I'm going by myself), it has only been magnified by this very conversation.

By a million.

open letters.

2012-01-10T08:39:00.002-05:00

dear naked ladies at the gym,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, can you please put some clothes on?

Or at least get a bikini wax?

Grossed out,

**********

dear dryer,

When I put my jeans in you last night, it was to fluff them. Not make them suitable for Selena Gomez.

Barely breathing,

PS: bonus points that they were the only pants I had to stuff myself into at the gym today for work.

PPS: extra credit that I will be attending a client dinner tonight looking like a sausage.

**********

dear one-finger charlie,

Driving a pick-up truck doesn't give you free reign to pick-out stuff from your nose.

Also, you are breaking the 'hands-free' law.

I'm watching you,

**********

dear winter,

If you're going to snow all over us, go ahead and do it already.

If not, please go back to the 60 degrees we had on Saturday.

Much appreciated,

**********

dear zumba,

I'm sorry. I just don't get all your hoopla.

It's not like you invented dancing.

Not seeing it,

miscellaneous.

2012-01-09T08:30:00.003-05:00

Well, we survived the bar crawl. And we were very respectful and didn't wake anyone up.

It was a lot of fun, and I was dressed perfectly. We even spent some time on the top deck of the ferry. It was 58 degrees, about 40 degrees warmer than it normally is this time of year. The day consisted of brews, bitchy bartenders and a bar that smelled like a toilet. So all in all, a good day.

**********************************

This morning marked the first day I got up and went to the gym before work. And it was jam-packed with resolutioners. Since I technically joined the gym before January 1, I don't consider myself in that category. It doesn't matter that today was my first day. I joined in January, bitches!

Yesterday I took the necessary time to make sure my bags were packed. I'll be right next to work, so too far to come home if I forgot something important, like underwear or shoes.

I got up before the alarm, and snuck out of the house without waking up Mr. KK and Vito.

I was 5 minutes down the road when I realized I forgot my computer. A quick turn-around and I was back on the road.

I was 20 minutes into my trip when I realized I forgot my coat. I was only wearing my fleece over my workout clothes. Oh well. Too late to turn back now.

It always takes some time adjusting to a new gym, especially when you're showering there. First off, I tried out 3 treadmills until I found one where the TV (and sound) was in working order. I ran my two miles (woo hoo!) and proceeded to locker room. This is usually where things take a turn for the worse.

Surprisingly, the showers were all empty when it was time to get ready. I quickly learned who the exhibitionists are; those women who not only walk around naked, but talk to you while naked, blow dry their hair while naked, and put on their makeup while naked.

I got ready in record time (it's amazing how quickly you can get ready when there's not a puppy who's so cuddly he just begs you to give him belly rubs. And breakfast. And a walk.

***********************

Because it's January, and because my body got used to consuming ridiculous amounts of alcohol each week during the holidays, I'm back on the wagon. Not cold turkey like last year. More like, reducing the intake to only weekends.

My money's on me. Unless I have a bad day at work. Or there's a tap takeover at our favorite bar. Or it's a Tuesday...

***********************

Week 2 back in the old gig.

It's slowly coming back to me.

The bike isn't so bad.

who invited the lunatic?

2012-01-07T07:16:00.006-05:00

Today we're pretending we're 25 and going on a bar crawl!

This will either be super fun, or super disastrous.

Did I mention that we have to take a ferry to to get to the bar crawl? So in additional to consuming copious amounts of alcohol, we have to board a very large water vehicle.

Is it weird that this is only my second time on a ferry, but my 37th time on a bar crawl?

I didn't think so either!

And while a bar crawl is a twenty-something activity, I can't escape the fact that I'm a thirty-something.

I've already started to worry about what I'm going to drink. I know I have a long day ahead of me. So if I follow traditional bar crawl "rules", I should be ordering a drink at each bar. The safe way for me to go is beer, since history has proved that the progression from sober to sleeping is much slower and enjoyable to others. The downside: beer belly bloat. Blah!

Now, a second option is the hard stuff. I love me my martinis, but the last thing I want is to look like a Muffy*. And there isn't a 'mixed drink' that I like enough to drink all day. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure I should drink hard alcohol all day. Sure, I'm rather hilarious after 2, maybe 3, drinks, but you don't want to hang out with me after 4. Even Mr. KK might pretend he doesn't know who I am.

Then, there's the whole eating thing. Do I eat beforehand and provide a nice cushion for my drinks? Will I be too full? Do I have a light breakfast and then plan to eat mid-way through the crawl? Will that slow down my drinking? Will I get too drunk too fast? What if the places have shitty food? Then I'm wasting calories on food I don't even want to eat.

And we didn't even TALK about what I'm going to wear! Will I be cold on the ferry, but hot in the bars? Should I go casual, or wear heels because we're celebrating someone's birthday? Should I not wear my nice new wool coat, for fear of people spilling their drinks on me? Do I wear a hat? What if someone takes pictures? I don't want to be photographed with hat hair all day long.

If I think back to my 20s, and all the bar crawls we went on, I seem to remember just...going. We drank beer, because it was all we could afford. Did we eat? I can't remember. I'm sure we came home from the crawl and made a big pot of blue box macaroni and cheese, and ate the whole thing and didn't care or gain and ounce because our metabolism was friends with us. I doubt we wore jackets, even if it was 12 degrees. And it's very possible we got the call about the bar crawl only an hour before it started.

Seems when you get older, fun and spontaneity go right out the window.

Did I mention I have to run 2 miles today before we go?

*Muffy is a term my uncle uses to describe women who wear Chanel to a football game. Or who drink martinis on bar crawls.

it's like riding a bike

2012-01-05T19:30:00.003-05:00

I have a slight case of blog block.

I don't have a lot of news to share, since most of my waking moments have been filled with work and the new job.

I'm either:

- at work

- driving to/from work

- thinking about work

- answering the question, "how's work?"

- or sleeping (and probably dreaming about work)

But I have to say, it's all good.

Is it cliché to say I was welcomed back with open arms? Well, tough cookies. Because I was. And it feels pretty damn good. I haven't felt wanted and respected - when it comes to work - in a long time. It gives me the warm fuzzes.

Know what else? After an 18-month hibernation, it's time to wake up my shoe game again.

No more boring 'corporate' shoes! Down with the conservative pumps.

KK's back in her element - so you know what that means?

NEW SHOES.

I started today. Just one pair. To ease me back in.

And it. felt. great.

hello, 2012!

2012-01-02T08:02:00.007-05:00

As far as years go, 2011 wasn't half bad.

We FINALLY sold our house, after multiple crazy buyers and nine months of agony:

We moved into Mr. KK's grandmother's house that we renovated, and I finally had the kitchen of my dreams:

I ran my first 5K:

We went on a family vacation to Napa, where we ate, drank, and relaxed for a whole week. If this whole East Coast thing doesn't work out, I know where I'm headed:

We had wonderful holidays in the new house. It was once again filled with family, good food, and laughter. Just what Mr. KK's grandmother would have wanted.

And there's already a LOT going on in 2012: I'm starting my new job tomorrow, I joined a gym (I will finally say good-bye to those 10 pounds!), I'm going to train for a 10K, and we'll focus on getting the outside of the house in shape for a huge garden and bocce courts.

Happy New Year, blog world! I have a good feeling about the next 365 days.

surprise!

2011-12-20T07:01:00.002-05:00

They say you can't go back.

Well, they're wrong.

Because this girl is going back to her old stomping grounds. That's right folks, back to agency life at my previous company.

Mad Men? More like 'Mad, Mad Woman'.

The details - while fuzzy - went something like this:

receive a call out of the blue and get showered with compliments
receive a text from a creative leader at the company that says, "Hi. We've never met, but I apparently work at the headquarters for the KK Fan Club." ((grin))
have a deal NOT go down at work, and must mentally return all of the things I mentally shopped for with my big, fat commission check
receive call from the President of the old company who wants to have coffee
meet for said coffee, get showered with more compliments, make my concerns known, get misty when asked, "When are you just going to come home, already?"
agonize over life's decisions and lose approximately 2 night's sleep
receive a call from the COO of the parent company, who also wants to meet for coffee
realize that as much as these people love me, they aren't aware that I don't drink coffee
order tea
after yet another showering of compliments, feel my ego is the cleanest it's ever been
am nicely warned by COO that this will be a 'big job, with a lot of pressure on my shoulders, so do a good job'. (good to know. i thought they'd just pay me for showing up)
make 'pros and cons' list
make grocery list
weigh 'long commute' and 'eating dinner at 9pm' against 'girl who makes me consider homicide' and 'Leave It To Beaver hours'
get ONE MORE CALL from a former colleague, to get the nitty gritty
somehow keep my mouth shut at a social brunch with former coworkers
realize that you truly can't take the girl out of creative
make my current work partner cry. multiple times a day. at varying levels.
feel relief when i hear that after the announcement of my return, the company applause lasted 30 solid seconds

So there you go blog world. KK's going back to the madness.

(Admit it, you missed the posts from my former life!)

ta da!

2011-12-19T06:59:00.002-05:00

the masterpiece is complete!

a project 8 years in the making...

2011-12-11T07:20:00.004-05:00

...has been completed!

Mr. KK and I, plus our generous alcoholic families*, have been saving wine corks for 8 years.

And, finally, we have put those corks to good use.

Yesterday, in what can only be described as one of the most back-breaking projects we have ever done, we created a back splash to go above our wine fridge and buffet area in our new kitchen.

It's not up yet, but it's fabulous:

And to add a little something special, we collected marble coasters from wineries on our honeymoon and our most recent trip to Napa, and included those as well.

Peppered in there are special corks that we've written on over the years with phrases like, "our first anniversary", "cruise 2007" and "game night 10/2008".

It truly is special, and once it goes up, it's never coming down.

Which just means we'll live here forever. :)

*I'm not going to say anything, but the wine cork that we have the MOST of is my mother's favorite Pinot Grigio...

you can't make this shit up, part 35

2011-12-09T07:08:00.005-05:00

We moved into our house in May.

While remodeling, we decided that we would use the space above the fireplace to mount our TV.

That big, open space looks like this, anxiously awaiting a beautiful TV to grace its wall:

With all of the remodeling and moving, buying a new TV was not high on our priority list, since we had to purchase things like wood to build a new front of the house, and pay for a termite exterminator.

So while we dreamed of the big TV, we used our smaller bedroom TV in the meantime. THAT ghetto fabulous set-up looks like this:

The nice thing is the TV turns, so we can watch it while on the couches in the living room, then I can turn it so I can watch it while I'm cooking in the kitchen. Pretty sweet set up. Bonus points for long black cord hanging down.

In a moment of what I can only describe as 'delusions of riches', we decide to bite the bullet and buy the new TV. Mr. KK is in charge of the research. He has spent MONTHS researching this TV, the correct mount for the wall, the LCDs, the HPs and the OMGs. 51" of beauty.

We order the TV!

They ship the TV!

They deliver the TV!

With a huge crack in the screen of the TV!

a tale of two trees

2011-12-07T20:34:00.002-05:00

I have to say, it's been hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit - mainly because it's 60 degrees out.

To me, Christmas means cold and snow. Why do you think Santa always wears that heavy, woolen suit? You don't see him a t-shirt and shorts, do you?

As much as I may complain about the snow and cold (those posts to come, I'm sure), I can't imagine living anywhere else during the holiday season.

So the fact that it's raining right now on December 7, is rather disturbing to me.

(NOTE TO MOTHER NATURE: it's NOT that I'm wishing for snow right now; just not rain. Brisk air, perhaps. But not snow. Yet.)

But time is a-tickin', and this past weekend we ventured out for our tree (s).

And because I make every outing about food, we planned our tree-getting day around breakfast at a fabulous diner (that can be seen on The Food Network, thank you very much). With full belly's we headed out for our tree.

When I was younger, my parents and I did the whole 'cut down your own tree' thing. And it's fun! In fact, I wrote about it in November, and the idea of tailgating on tree cutting day.

But now I have that 'been there, done that' mentality, and I'm just as happy going to the garden center and picking out a beautiful Frasier fur. And the day we went, each tree was more gorgeous than the next.

We ended up with two trees - one for our living room, and one to enjoy on our patio.

And I love them both. In fact, I love the outside tree so much, that the guy at the garden center put a stick on it that read "back-up tree", so we'd know them apart once we got home.

Our official measuring tool: kk.

Probably why our tree looks dwarfed in our living room.

And if our super-warm house kills the first tree, it's good to know we can just carry in our Plan B tree and throw on some ornaments.

Now, what do you say we drop the temperature and give me a reason to put on a sweater?

Our indoor tree. Each year the color scheme is different.

This year's theme: retro brights. She is a beauty!

11/30 - a momentous day

2011-11-30T19:56:00.002-05:00

While today may look like a normal November 30, it's actually quite a memorable day for the KKs.

First, it marks the last day of NaBloPoMo. Which means I have blogged every single day for thirty days. Which means it's the last day I can leave Mr. KK with all of the dirty dinner dishes and the excuse, "I have to write my blog post!" and high tail it out of the kitchen.

Today also marks the anniversary of Yours Truly being cancer free.

(quick pause for any new readers to absorb this bit o' news.)

Yes, bloggy friends, 7 years ago today I underwent invasive surgery that eliminated my cancer.

I have a hard time believing it's been 7 years. Part of me feels like the surgery was yesterday, because I can so vividly remember my recovery in the hospital, the smells, the nurses soft tones, and toting around my catheter. And, yet, the other part of me feels like it was a lifetime ago that I got that phone call from the oncologist, one rainy afternoon in October, and collapsed into a heap of tears on the carpet - one of only 2 times I cried during the entire ordeal.

And here I am today - healthy, and no worse for the wear.

So while November 30 means the end of a month of sharing life's tidbits with you, it will always signify new beginnings to me.

(and who knows, I may keep on daily blogging...if you'll have me!)

kk's day of fun!

2011-11-29T17:39:00.003-05:00

Today was a FABULOUS day.

Why?

Because I had the day off from work! I have a few vacation days I have to use up before the end of the year, so why not take a random Tuesday off?

My day looked like this:

Wake up and organize my room, write out bills, update Facebook status

Hit the BIG Homegoods. Buy more stuff for me than others.

Stop by Crate & Barrel and pick up a gift.

Lunch! I grabbed a bar seat at this yummy bistro. Enjoyed a lobster club sandwich, a chilled glass of sauvignon blanc and my book.

Hit the mall and crossed 4 people off my list!

Returned home for a 45 minute jaunt on the treadmill.

And the best part of the day: date night!

We're kicking it old school with a movie and dinner.

I'm dragging Mr. KK to see this:

I grew up on the Muppets! I remember watching them every Saturday night, sitting on the floor in front of the TV in my footy pajamas.

I can't wait to see the whole gang back together!

And of course we're going for a yummy dinner. You think I'm going to end my day off by cooking???

a new holiday tradition?

2011-11-28T18:42:00.002-05:00

(for those of you counting, this is Day 28 of NaBloPoMo and I'm going strong!)

Today I was speaking to someone on the phone, and we got to talking about the incredible fact that it is almost December, how it's unseasonably warm, and how we're both planning on getting our Christmas trees this Saturday.

"A few years ago, before we moved to NYC, we used to get a group of people and all go to the Smith Tree Farm and get our together," she tells me. "We'd go up there and tailgate first, then go pick out our tree."

Wait.

What?

As someone who is totally on board with the idea of adding cocktails to an event to make it more fun (i.e., manicures, yard work, church), I was intrigued with this idea.

Thinking back to the tree farms that I've been to in the past (if you live in Connecticut, you've been to a tree farm. Unless you've been living under a rock your whole life), I remember them consisting of large, unpaved areas for parking oversized, tree-carrying vehicles. The same types of vehicles that are perfect for carting coolers and mini grills. I imagine me and Mr. KK cracking open cold ones, sitting in lawn chairs, eating crock pot chili. It would be just like tailgating for a football game minus the stadium, thousands of other people doing what you're doing, and, well, football.

And while this all sounds like a perfectly normal Saturday afternoon activity, I have a few questions.

1. Technically, you're not supposed to operate machinery while intoxicated. Does a chainsaw fit under this category? What about a hand saw? Does that constitute as machinery? Technically it's not electrical, so...

2. After drunken tree cutting, do you wake up the next morning and find your tree not as attractive as you did the night before?

3. It has been my experience that everything in the universe is magnified when you're under the influence - like when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the bar's bathroom mirror and can't get over how H-O-T you look (even though your mascara is running halfway down your face, and you've lost the muscle control to hold in your stomach). Do you pick out a tree that's WAY too big for your living room? Do you have a faint remembrance of yourself chanting the phrase, 'Go big or go home!' as you wandered around the tree farm?

4. Did you see a sweet little family cutting down their very first tree together, and the minute they go to capture the moment on film, jump into the picture?

So I'm giving this tree tailgating idea a little bit more thought. Though the pros just may outweigh the cons...

(and who couldn't use a bigger tree??)

this blog isn't called 'will work for shoes' for nothing

2011-11-27T20:11:00.003-05:00

As much as I love a good deal, I'm not the kind of person to cash in on discounts and freebies from friends. It just makes me feel all weird inside.

In my current job, I have a client who happens to be a semi-well-known shoe company. (not that I'm bragging)

And they get a ridiculous discount on a large variety of shoes.

They also have what they call 'sample sales', where they sell off the sample shoes for like $5. Have I mentioned that I'm a sample size 6? This means that when they have a sample shoe that they've photographed for an ad or for the web and they can't sell it, it's my EXACT size. So they have pairs upon pairs of these samples shoes that don't know what to do with. (Back when I worked at Filene's before it was gobbled up by Macy's, I would go to all of the shoe sample sales. Actually, I eventually finagled my way in so that I got to pre-shop the sample sales, before all the women would come down who were actually a 6.5 or a 7, but would shove their fat feet into my shoes and stretch them out and buy them, only to leave the shoes at the back of their closet and never wear them because they were too small.)

((This also explains my penchant for pretty shoes.))

Now, I recently placed a super sweet girl at this company who starts tomorrow, and who has promised me that she'll bring me to her sample sales and friends and family discount days.

Until then, I did something I never do - I asked for a discount.

Actually, I asked a coworker who is closer to our client than I am, to see if they had a certain boot. It was a boot I had seen on sale for $90. Sure, I could have bitten the bullet, but the fact that I work so hard for this company day in and day out was eating away at me.

My coworker asked, and what do you know, the boot was available, and our client purchased it with her discount.

So for half the price of what I saw them on sale for, these beauties will be arriving at work in the next week:

OMG.

I can't wait to put them on!

forget the shopping and the tree

2011-11-26T18:23:00.001-05:00

Sometimes, the best part of Christmas is your favorite movies you'll watch over and over.

put your turkeys away

2011-11-25T23:23:00.002-05:00

Like every other holiday and major event, Thanksgiving was a blur.

In true Italian fashion, we had WAY too much food. So much so, that tonight, we had the family back over for round 2. And besides a little bit of butternut squash puree (which was a surprise dish from Mr. KK's uncle), we finished everything off. And not a moment too soon. I feel like I'm going to turn into a starch.

And because the holiday season is all about tradition, Mr. KK and I went out for our annual Black Friday shopping trip. NOW, before you image the two of us duking it out in from of Walmart for a $4 toaster oven, let me remind you that we are sane.

I love going out on Black Friday not for the doorbuster deals, but because to me, it signals the start of the Christmas season. I love going to mall and hearing the Christmas carols for the first time. Seeing the lights and decorations. And catching a glimpse of the big guy with the white beard in the red suit.

And to be quite honest with you, I do more shopping for ME than I do for anyone else. I may be organized, but there's not way in hell I know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas in November. I mean, really. That day of crazy deals is pretty much free reign for me to fill my own closet with goodies.

I love telling people we go out on Black Friday because they look at me in horror. "Are you crazy?" and "You wouldn't catch me anywhere near a mall!"

I think so many people have that perception that they all stay home. Because we arrived at the mall at 9:30am, got a fantastic garage parking spot, and walked throughout the halls of the mall freely. It was just like any other day. Sure, the lines in the stores were long, but we have a system: Mr. KK stands in line the minute we get into the store, and I speed shop until he gets near the front, which signals that it's time for me to stop buying. Not only do we make good use of the time, but it curbs the spending.

And as much as I like Thanksgiving (hell, we had it TWICE), and it seems like the turkey is being pushed out the back door by reindeer and elves, I'm always excited at the start of the Christmas season.

Tomorrow I'll take down all of the Thanksgiving decorations, and figure out how we're going going to fit 8 bins of Christmas shit into a 4-bin-sized house (we lost some space in the move). But even though we lost space inside, we gained a patio outside of our beautiful French doors, which seem to be the perfect frame for an outside tree. That's right - TWO trees this year! One inside and decorated to the max (I think we're going with a multi-colored theme this year, opposed to the blue and silver theme the last few years that matched out living room), and one outside on the patio, filled with white lights, that we can enjoy while we're in the kitchen or enjoying dinner.

Move over Tom - Rudolph is here!

BTW, I did by one gift today, so I consider Black Friday to be a success.

happy thanksgiving, y'all!

2011-11-24T17:30:00.003-05:00

It's hard to tell, but my beautiful new pumpkin soup bowls are out and ready to go.

Happy thanksgiving, blogosphere. I have so much to be thankful for.

twas the night before thanksgiving...

2011-11-23T20:23:00.003-05:00

and I abandoned turkey day prep after 8 hours for happy hour downtown.

I'm a die-hard, but I'm no dummy!

And I made it through the night without any high-school classmate run-ins!

i'd make the boy scouts proud

2011-11-22T18:52:00.003-05:00

First, I would like to let out a big woo-fucking-hoo! that my 5-day weekend has officially started!

And, being a creature of habit like my friend the annoying woodpecker, I have certain things that I do, at certain times, on certain days, each and every Thanksgiving weekend.

I always take the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off from work. I don't care that we get out at 3pm. By the time I sit in traffic, I still get home at 5. And that, to me, is a wasted day.

Instead, I get up at 6:30am and head to the grocery store to do my Thanksgiving shopping! With my detailed list! Before all the crazies get up!

Then I come home and cook ALL DAY LONG. And then Mr. KK comes home and clean ALL NIGHT LONG.

Sounds like fun, right? To those that are sick and perverted, it is. I love the cooking part. Mr. KK loves the cleaning part. It's why we're a match made in heaven.

But this year, we're breaking tradition.

I heard that the northeast - Connecticut, in particular - is going to be hit with torrential rains on Wednesday morning from 5am - 9am. How this could be is beyond me. Doesn't Mother Nature know this is my prime holiday grocery shopping time? Doesn't she care?

Apparently not.

So, in what could only be described as a gutsy move for a Type A personality, I did my grocery shopping for Thanksgiving on Monday night after work.

I know, I know. It was an adjustment for me, too.

In fact, I didn't even have my list with me! Mr. KK had to bring it to work and scan it in and email it to me! (There are so many items he would STILL be reading it to me over the phone!)

But, with this last-minute extra preparedness, I made the right decision.

And Mr. KK even surprised me at the grocery store to help out. And he only asked me "What's this for?" twice. A new record for him.

Check out that organized cart!

PS: that totally doesn't look like enough food to feed 14 people!

if it's not the 8 dogs keeping us up, it's the woodpecker

2011-11-21T20:29:00.003-05:00

Apparently we have one more person living with us at the new house - Woody the woodpecker.

The funny thing is, Mr. KK's grandmother used to always complain about a woodpecker, because he was constantly pecking on the outside wall of her bedroom. It's not that we didn't believe her, but...

You never want a woodpecker visiting your house, because it usually means that you have some type of insect in your home.

For Mr. KK's grandmother, what she didn't know, was that her house was being eaten alive by termites. We found that damage during the remodel. I've never seen anything like in all of my years watching HGTV. There were days I would be carrying pieces of wood covered in crawling termites out to the dumpster. The termites had eaten half of the house.

It's totally worth the time to peek at the pics here.

We called the exterminator and he took care of everything. Said it should last longer than we'd be living the house.

So you can imagine our surprise - and fear - when we heard Woody drilling holes into the siding yet once again.

By now we were freaked out that we were going to lose the other half of the house to termites, so we called the exterminator back.

After a full examination, he concluded that we did NOT have termites. It seems woodpeckers are territorial and creates of habit, so our little friend came back now that the renovations have died down.

But that still didn't solve the problem that the little asshole was drilling holes into our wood shingles.

And here is where it got ridiculous.

He told us there are ways to 'deter' woodpeckers from putting holes in your house by tricking them into thinking that their predators are waiting for them.

"They are afraid of red-tailed hawks," he said, hanging us this to hand in our bedroom window:

Now, I just have a few questions:

1. will the woodpecker think this flimsy photocopy of a hawk silhouette is the real thing?

2. because this is black & white, what happens if the woodpecker thinks this is a black-tailed hawk? will he not be frightened?

3. are birds this stupid?

4. does he seriously think i'm hanging this 8.5" x 11" paper bird in my bedroom window???

Well, the joke's on us. Because we didn't put it up. And Mr. KK was outside at 3am last night in slippers with a flashlight looking for the little sucker.

And woodpeckers are relentless. Trust me.

(did you read about our termite damage? seriously, click the link)

a type A thanksgiving

2011-11-20T20:00:00.002-05:00

There's nothing I love more than hosting a get together.

I love putting together menus, decorating the house, preparing all of the yummy food, and mixing up cocktails and seeing family and friends mingling in my house.

Thanksgiving is NO different.

We've always hosted Thanksgiving - ever since we were married. Last year we had to forfeit, as we were in the middle of selling our house, and all of our serving dishes and extra flatware were packed away.

But now that we're settled in the new digs, we're ready.

I took Wednesday off to give myself ample time for preparations.

Today, I made my grocery lists. Yes, lists. Plural.

First, I make the menu list, that breaks the ingredients out by dish.

Then for my second list, I transfer all of the item from the first list onto the grocery store list. In this list, the items are rearranged in the order that I will shop them in the store. All of my fruits and vegetables appear first, followed by dry goods, then by dairy, and finally by frozen foods.

It's a science really.

So as we enter Thanksgiving week, I thought I would share with you the KK's menu.

(I will spare you the ridiculous grocery list, and telling you about how I arrange the items on the belt at check out in the order in which I'd like them bagged.)

((I have issues.))

(((I know.)))

KK Thanksgiving Menu

Appetizers:

parmesan thyme crackers

stuffed mushrooms

veggies and dip

Main meal:

corn chowder

turkey!

sausage and cornbread stuffing

citrus cranberry sauce

sour cream mashed potatoes

butternut squash mash

artichoke and mushroom casserole

sauteed brussels sprout hash with crispy pancetta

intermezzo:

clementines

chestnuts

Dessert:

pumpkin pie

pumpkin cheesecake

pecan pie

See you around 1pm?

How Saturday nights should be...

2011-11-19T22:25:00.001-05:00

Relaxing with Mr. KK and Vito, watching a movie, sipping some red wine, and snacking on the most delicious, nutty, 5-year aged Gouda.

It doesn't get much better than this.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

oh this old thing?

2011-11-18T22:15:00.004-05:00

By the time Friday rolls around, I'm exhausted.

And I'm more than happy to come home, put my jammies on, throw back a few cocktails, and cook up something delish.

Though I have to admit, by Friday night, the number of fresh veggies in the fridge to choose from is pretty slim. I need to be creative in order to whip together a satisfying meal.

With just a package of mushrooms, frozen (uncooked!) shrimp and a can of artichoke hearts, I was able to create this:

And it was FAB.

I used wheat pasta (which, as an Italian, I have to admit I'm a little leery about. Wheat pasta? What's next? Lowfat cheese??), some white wine and chicken stock. And it was amazing! And so quick!

As a testament to it's deliciousness, Mr KK said, "Add this to the repertoire!"

A WIN in my book!

Shrimp a la Friday night

Ingredients:

16-20 frozen shrimp defrosted and shelled (I use the 21-25/lb size)

olive oil

salt, pepper, crushed red pepper flakes

1 pkg portabella mushrooms, cleaned and sliced

1 shallot sliced

1 can artichoke hearts, drained and cut into quarters

3/4 cup white wine

1 Tbsp flour

2 Tbsp butter

1 cup chicken stock

1/2 pound wheat spaghetti

1 cup reserved pasta cooking water

In a bowl, toss the shrimp with some olive oil, salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper flakes.

Put a large pot of water on to boil for the spaghetti.

Heat a large sauté pan and add the shrimp. Cook for 2 minutes, then turn to cook another 2 minutes. Remove the shrimp from the pan into a clean bowl.

Add 1 Tbsp butter and some olive oil, and add mushrooms to the pan.

Cook until crispy and browned. Add second Tbsp of butter and 1 Tbsp of flour to mushrooms. Stir to combine.

Cook for 1-2 minutes to eliminate flour taste.

Add white wine and stir.

Meanwhile, cook the spaghetti according to directions.

Add the chicken stock to the sauté pan and stir. Sauce should be thick. Add reserved pasta water.

Add artichoke hearts and stir to warm through.

Add shrimp and stir to warm.

Drain pasta and add it to pan. Toss together and keep over heat 2-3 minutes.

Serve and enjoy!

why I can't help myself around pizza

2011-11-17T21:10:00.004-05:00

It's because I live in Connecticut - a state that some has the most ridiculously amazing pizza.

I try not to get into the pizza wars conversation (Sally's vs. Pepe's? I say NEITHER. I'm a Modern Pizza girl!)

But there are so many small pizza joints that just do pizza right. Thin crust. Just the perfect amount of toppings. A slice that stands up flat when you hold it by the crust.

Tonight felt like a beer and pizza kind of night, so we picked up a pie from down the street, poured two IPAs, lit a fire, and watched Modern Family from last night.

And the pie? Mashed potato and bacon. And it. was. fabulous.

you'll never look at tampons the same way again

2011-11-16T20:55:00.003-05:00

Let me preface this post by saying I do not have kids. I do not have teenagers. And I do not have teenage girls.

Let me also preface this by saying that when I was 15, I was more concerned about what I was wearing to the Friday night football game, and if I would make it to my locker before biology, than anything else.

The other day, I learned that - as a means to get a buzz during the school day - girls are soaking tampons in vodka and then shoving them up their hoo has.

My first thought was, "What a waste of perfectly good vodka!" but then I figured Moms' clubs around the globe would come after me (insert unrealistic idea of how many people read this blog) for stoning or worse: a sit-down with the PTA. So instead, I'll just think, "If you have the vodka, why don't you just drink it, for christ's sake?"

If you've ever used a tampon, you'll know that shoving it all up in there can be painful, especially if it's full of liquid and expanding. But I guess if feeling a quick buzz after the ladies' room on the way to sophomore English is what you're looking for, then why the hell not??

While I am NOT condoning this behavior (actually, I think it's completely absurd - see my comment about wasting good vodka...), I have to ask: how does vodka not drip out of your lady parts and down your legs?

Now that you're feeling the Absolut in your cootie and have the confidence to talk to the captain of the football team, how do you hold a conversation without making a puddle on the floor and having him wonder if you still pee your bed?

Why aren't 15 year old girls still dreaming of Barbie, and putting each other's bras in the freeze at sleepovers?

This, my friends, is what makes me happy I have a dog.

Read about the story here, and rethink your feminine products.

bitch slaps and pumpkin bowls

2011-11-15T19:06:00.004-05:00

I don't normally post about my job, but today was an extraordinarily shitty day.

I will not go into details, because you NEVER should write about your job on your blog, unless you want the world to read about it, and tell on you. (ever read the blog dooce? if you haven't, do it. she's insanely witty and real, and you'll want to to invite her for a drink. weekly.)

That being said, let's just say I spoke to SOMEONE on the phone today who had a tone that rhymed with ITCHY for what I have to say is NO REASON AT ALL BESIDES THE FACT THAT IT MADE THEM FEEL BETTER.

So to make MYSELF feel better, I bought these:

I love, love, love them! Every year we host Thanksgiving, and each year I make a different soup. It's kind of my thing. In fact, as I write this, I'm researching what soup I'm going to wow the crowd with this year (any suggestions? email me!)

The first year I made a pumpkin soup, I bought 16 little gourds that Mr. KK hollowed out so that we could serve the soup in them. It was one of my most Martha Stewart-esque moments to date, and I felt fabulous! (Mr. KK, on the other hand, felt a little less fabulous about the gourd bowls, as he practically suffered carpal tunnel with all of the cutting and scooping he had to do.)

Each year I see these bowls, and want them. And every year, I don't buy them.

Except today! And they should be here next Wednesday, just in time for a quick washing and setting on the table. I even bought the big tureen.

They're not as "whoa! that KK knows how to rock a holiday!" as pumpkin soup served in real-live pumpkins (but what is, really?), but they will totally be a conversation piece!

(and it's a good thing I have 49 cabinets to choose from when it comes to storing them for the other 364 days of the year!)

Happy Hump Day to my fellow NaNoBloMo-mers. We're halfway there!

O.M. to the G.

2011-11-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

How frickin' cute is this skirt from Old Navy??

This is the perfect little skirt to wear to make a statement at a holiday cocktail party or to paint the town on New Year's Eve.

I see this with a fitted sequin tank top and stilettos.

Plus, it has a $24 price tag.

Perfect!

reason #234 why I can't be left unsupervised

2011-11-13T21:00:00.002-05:00

Admittedly, after beginning my new job last year, I curbed my spending a bit to make up for the difference in my salary.

Basically, I stopped buying so many pairs of shoes.

((moment of silence))

Instead of weekly outings to buy new things, I've been saving up and making my trips more worthwhile.

In what I can only describe as a whirlwind trip to the outlets, I did some major damage in the Banana Republic outlet for both myself and Mr. KK.

Between my 30% off coupon, and extra $30 off (pretty much my thank you for spending WAY too much money on their credit card), I came home with some fabulous stuff.

Here's what I got, all for $250:

- 3 pair of jeans (two for me, one for Mr. KK)

- 3 sweaters for Mr. KK

- 1 ribbon trimmed cardigan (NOT for Mr. KK)

- 1 v-neck sweater for me

- 2 silk blouses

- 1 silk t-shirt

- 1 soft fleece sweatshirt

I was pretty proud.

Even more proud that I was able to find my will power and walk right by the Kate Spade store without stopping in. I saw the felt shoppers and bright orange handbags. But somehow, I found my strength deep inside of me and walked right.on.by.

(I still love you, Kate!)

today's project.

2011-11-12T16:55:00.003-05:00

You know how the story goes.

You sell your old house.

You renovate your new house.

You move into your new house (oh, let's say 5 months ago...).

You become lazy and would rather go out drinking than stay in painting trim (or weeding the yard, or unpacking boxes, or hanging things on the wall, or...).

But then you realize that Thanksgiving is in two weeks, and you're hosting. And you have a list a mile long of things you'd like to get done in the house before the big day.

Things on that list might include:

1. hang the TV in the living room

2. order the bracket to hang the TV in the living room

3. put up the buffet back splash

4. cut and measure the wood to put up the buffet back splash

5. organize the basement

6. install all 49 kitchen cabinet handles - that is NOT a typo. Forty. Nine.

7. eliminate some bare walls by hanging up framed photos (that are all sitting in a pile on my office floor, ready to go!)

8. finish my office - patch holes, prime and paint the walls and ceiling

9. install the shelving in our closets

And #10 - clean out the garage so we can put our cars in it before it snows (again).

#10 might look something like this:

Lord help me. Let's get some IPA in the fridge for later, stat!

dear internal alarm clock,

2011-11-11T05:00:00.003-05:00

WTF is going on?!?

4am? Seriously? Every day this week?

And please don't throw the 'daylight savings time' excuse at me. You were over that hurdle Monday morning.

Tonight we have dinner plans with friends. It's restaurant week, and we're going to one of Mr. KK's favorite places. I would have appreciated at least sleeping until the alarm, as not to fall asleep in my second course tonight.

Alarm clock, tomorrow is Saturday.

S.A.T.U.R.D.A.Y.

Please refrain from being obnoxious.

There is no need to make your presence known again for 2 days.

Hugs,

kk's fall must haves

2011-11-10T18:51:00.006-05:00

I do it every year - pick 10 of my favorite items for the fall and winter.

In no particular order, here is what I'm finding fabulous right now:

1. Put Mademoiselle away for the winter, and try brushing on a bold, dark shade for winter. I love Essie Bobbing for Baubles.

2. This blog isn't called "will work for shoes" for nothing! My next footwear purchase will be these awesome platform booties by Vince Camuto. I love the grayish-taupey color.

3. Give a hoot - these are cute! I totally wouldn't want to hide these measuring cups in a cabinet. They come in 4 cute colors and make measuring more fun.
4. Okay, it's FREEZING in our house (we won't put the heat above 66!) so I need some warm jammies. Vito especially loves my doxie flannel pajamas.

5. Don't leave the house without a statement piece of jewelry. If I could pick, this bold bracelet by Tory Burch would be at the top of my list. Bonus points because it's animal print, which is so hot right now.

6. I just wore this awesome skirt yesterday from Ann Taylor Loft and got a million compliments. It hangs perfectly, is a bright red-orange, and looks awesome with tall boots and fitted top.

7. Hey, not only is my house cold, but my office is an icebox, too! I keep warm with thin, ruffly cardigans that layer easily over whatever I'm wearing.

8. Monkey slippers from Target. 'nuff said.
9. If you can't GO to Bar Americain to eat - which is FAB btw - then make some of the dishes at home with Bobby Flay's latest cookbook. Hello, mussels frites!

10. Put technology aside - every desk could use a bright, fun calendar and planner like this one from Kate Spade. Don't forget to add my birthday - April 15!

the making of an office

2011-11-09T20:52:00.005-05:00

You may remember that there was a bit of a lull with my blogging over the last year.

It's because we were enthralled with Renovationgate '10-'11 (it was so big, is spanned across 2 different years).

After much blood, sweat, tears and more tears, we're just about done...except for one room: the corner room.

We call this room "the office", though I refer to it as "my room", simply because it contains:

my big, beautiful Mac (whose name I have not yet decided on)

my dresser

2 closets filled with my clothes

all of my accessories

a bookshelf filled with my books

my fabulous desk and chair

The ceiling and walls are not yet painted, but I have a fabulous shade of magenta on stand-by.

And since I spend more time than anyone in this room, I've gathered a few things that make it special to me, and set the stage for a fabulous office.

Consider yourself warned.

Check out this coaster I found 2 Christmases ago in TJ Maxx. Thankfully, I didn't lose it in the move!

My inspiration - I've had these in a closet for 2 years, just waiting for the right place to hang them.

(please ignore the unpainted walls)

So far, I've felt VERY inspired for NaBlo...I love sitting in here and writing!

say "Cheesecake!"

2011-11-08T06:04:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year - pumpkin cheesecake time at The Cheesecake Factory!

Mr. KK and I need to start planning our pilgrimage.

Now, some of you know that I've been disappointed in the past. It's not uncommon for The Cheesecake Factory to RUN OUT OF pumpkin cheesecake.

It happened to me a few years ago. Twice. In two different states. In one weekend.

(Talk about a grouchy KK!)

So get ready for me Cheesecake Factory! You're on our list!

betty ford is probably laughing her ass off at me

2011-11-08T05:48:00.003-05:00

On Sunday afternoon, I was still piecing together the events from Friday night.

It seems, that somewhere between the first double IPA, and the second glass of wine, I agreed to run a 10K.

KK: "OMG. A 10K? That's like...I don't...how many miles is that?"

Again, math - not my strong suit.

MR. KK: "6 miles." And then he laughed a little. At me.

KK: "Well, that's just fabulous. I haven't run as far as the mailbox since September, and I'm supposed to just put my sneakers on and run 6 whole miles???"

MR. KK: "It's not until June. You can do it."

KK: "Why don't you run with me?"

Silence.

I thought so.

I really shouldn't be drinking unsupervised.

I totally understand why people get depressed

2011-11-07T20:35:00.003-05:00

But my GOD it gets dark early!

Today I was a multi-tasking maniac, doing my grocery shopping during my lunch hour. When I was out, it was sunny and beautiful.

I get back to work, and what felt like 10 minutes later, I look up and it looks like midnight outside.

What the...?

When did THAT happen?

I don't understand daylight savings time. Why do we do it? Why don't we politely decline, like Arizona does. A simple, "No thanks, moon, earth and universe, I don't much feel like participating this year."

Sure, I'm no longer driving to work in the dark. But now I'm driving HOME in the dark. And it makes me want to skip all after-work activities and immediately jump into my jammies and cuddle up on the couch. It feels like midnight at 7pm, so the real midnight feels like 4am. It throws off my whole internal clock. Plus, it makes me cranky.

We used to have a clock in our kitchen on which we never changed the time. Six months out of the year, the clock was wrong. But then again, six months out of the year, the clock was right. That's me looking at our laziness with a 'glass half full' mentality.

How am I supposed to find the motivation to exercise when I get home from work, when all I want to do is crawl into bed??

So I'm officially somewhat depressed; that's it's dark at 4pm. that the winter is around the corner. that i'll inevitably be putting on my 'winter weight' in the next few weeks.

I don't want to leave you on this sour note.

So I'll end with a picture of Vito, taken with my new Hipstamatic lens. Old-school debonair:

sunday stomach

2011-11-06T21:04:00.002-05:00

You ever hear of Sunday stomach?

We suffer from it in our household. Mr. KK coined the term on Sunday night, while we were sitting on the couch, watching the Amazing Race.

MR. KK: "I like this show, but ever time it comes on, I get Sunday stomach, because I know our weekend is over."

I couldn't argue with him. There's nothing like that dread in your stomach on Sunday nights - no matter how much you love your job.

It's like the final countdown. Only worse.

The Amazing Race (of which we have watched every season - it's the only reality show we've stuck with) now symbolizes the end of our weekend together.

Tonight, we tried to prolong the end of the weekend by going out for a few drinks. What hard-working 9-5'ers go out on a Sunday night (who aren't watching football???). Not many.

But it felt so good.

Plus, the more beers you have, the less you feel the Sunday stomach.

headaches and pot pies

2011-11-05T16:05:00.004-04:00

It's Day 5 and I'm still alive, folks! (though I am suffering from a slight hangover) ((see previous post))

25 more days of daily blogging!

So Bren has asked for my chicken pot pie recipe. And you know me, I LOVE sharing recipes.

NOTE: this is not a pic of my actual pot pies (see previous post). though they looked very similar.

But I don't have a recipe, because I made it up as I went along.

Here's what I did:

kk's chicken pot pies

Ingredients:

1 rotisserie chicken

2 onions, diced

4 carrots, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces and blanched for 2 minutes

1 bag frozen peas

1 1/2 sticks of butter

2 refrigerated pie crusts

3/4 cup flour

2 cups of chicken broth, warmed

1 cup of milk

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Roll out pie crusts on a floured surface. Invert the mini crock and trace a circle in the dough about an inch wider than the mouth of the bowl. Make 4 dough circles and set aside.

Remove the 2 breasts from the chicken and cut the meat up into bite-sized pieces.

Melt the butter in a dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, and cook until onion is soft, about 10 minutes.

Add flour, and whisk together until a thick paste forms. Stir for 2-3 minutes so it doesn't stick.

Add 1 cup of broth and whisk. Add the milk. If it's really thick, add a second cup of broth. The sauce should be thick, but pourable.

Keep stirring until all of the liquid is mixed in and sauce heats.

Add chicken, carrots and peas. Stir until heated through.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Ladle the mixture into 4 individual crock dishes.

Top each crock with a dough circle, and crimp the ends to secure it to the bowl. Make slits in the dough.

Bake crocks on a baking sheet for 20 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.

Enjoy!

CAUTION: as delicious as these little suckers look, please refrain from digging in for at least 5-10 minutes, as the inside is insanely hot and you will burn your tongue.

TIP: if you crack the top of the crust with your spoon, some of the heat will escape.

Enjoy with a nice bottle of red and cool salad.

PLEASE take this as my Day 4 NaBlo

2011-11-05T00:51:00.002-04:00

Tonight we hosted a dinner party.

i MEANT to take pictures of my beautiful individual chicken pot pies.

but now i'm DRUNK. so you have to pretend that i made it in time to post for my blog.

my pot pies rocked your ass. yeah, they were hot, but when they cooled. they were AWESOME.

guess what? mr. kk is snoring his brains out in the bedroom.

OMG. this totally counts as friday's post.'

OMG. i'k drujnk. hahah. drynks.

see yoou saturday, bitchyenss!

on the cusp of millionaire-dom

2011-11-03T21:07:00.004-04:00

I'm lucky to live in a lottery-lovin' state. And being the gambling woman that I am, I love to play the lottery.

And, sad as it is to admit, deep down, I actually think that I'm going to win one day.

Last night I stopped for gas on my way home. Remembering that Powerball was $254 million smackaroos, and seeing that I had two singles in my wallet (a miracle in itself), I ran inside the convenience store.

Behind the counter was a crotchety old man, who looked like he hadn't smiled in 23 years.

KK: "Two Powerball quick picks, please." I lay my dollars on the counter.

GRUMPY OLD MAN: "Hmph. Before I throw this lottery machine right out the window!"

KK: "Oh no! Is the machine acting up?" This was a logical question, since I assumed more people than normal were buying lottery tickets, hoping to strike it rich.

G.O.M.: "No, it's not. But I'm busy, I don't have time for the lottery!" I believe he actually snarled at me.

KK: "Oh, well, um..."

G.O.M.: "I'm very busy here, I have lots of things to do. 'The lottery's not one of them. Ma'am." Okay, now he crossed the line. I don't look a day over 'Young Lady'.

I'm surprised he didn't finish me off with a 'Now git on outta here!', though he might as well have.

Now, I was in a pretty good mood going into that store. I was about to buy my ticket to freedom. But now, I encounter Cranky Pants. I listen to people ALL DAY who hate their jobs. I certainly don't want to deal with them after hours, too. I mean, running the lottery machine! Talk about a grueling task. Guess what, dude? I did that job in high school. And I lived to tell about it!

I woke up this morning to find out that the winning lottery ticket was SOLD IN CONNECTICUT. The winning ticket was sold. in. my. state.

Holy Hannah! I actually may be a millionaire!

Sadly, I'm not. So you will see me back here tomorrow, same desk, same wit.

Over and out!

Recap: BlogHer Writer's Conference

2011-11-02T05:34:00.002-04:00

In a word: inspirational.

There I was hanging out with 198 fabulous women - and 2 brave men! - listening to some of the brightest people in the publishing industry.

I am fortunate enough to live just a train ride away. I woke up at 4:30am that Friday morning, showered and dressed, and drove in the dark to the train station. (BONUS: I was on one of the new trains! It didn't smell like homeless people! The seats were clean! I could hear them announce each stop clearly!)

The day was filled with fabulous speakers, break-out sessions, and even a small group round table in a focus area of your choice, with a real live literary editor! We got to pitch our ideas, talk about our blogs and novels, and get useful feedback.

My key takeaway: everyone has a story. From breast cancer to young war widows, having babies with illness to overcoming internal fears, each and every person there had a novel inside of them.

And everyone was at a different stage of their writing journey - one woman had written a novel a few years ago, then put it on a shelf (!) and was now ready to do something about it. One was just starting her query letter, one was just starting her blog.

For me, I was absolutely enamored and inspired by these fellow bloggers. Being there put things in perspective for me. It made me want to WRITE. Which is why I decided to do NaBloPoMo. (And, naturally, why I said I'd do NaNoWriMo and fail on the first day. I didn't change THAT much.)

I also learned that I should market my blog a little bit. Which is ironic, since I am technically a marketer. This means being on Twitter, mentioning new blog posts on Facebook and just being out there. This will hopefully prove to be a better method than the one I'm currently using, which is: write a post and pray someone stumbles across it and reads it, and - gasp! - leaves a comment!

I created a twitter handle. It's naked right now, but if you'd like to follow my musings, find me at: @kkworksforshoes

And perhaps the best part: I made 200 new bloggy friends!

Halloween is cancelled, Charlie Brown

2011-11-01T06:07:00.004-04:00

Before we moved, Halloween used to be like this - all martinis and monsters.

We lived in an awesome neighborhood, where parents would bus their kids in. Eight kids would pile out of a battered of Dodge Caravan, run up to the house, rob us of candy, and jump back in their ride to the next house. What happened to kids walking door to door? Are we THAT lazy???

In the new house, we're set far off a busy road, down a loooooong driveway (that I'm even scared to drive down, let along walk down dressed like a sexy kitten). And while the freak October storm post-poned Halloween until some random day in November (hey! at least candy will be 50% off!), our town kept the tradition alive.

Everywhere but our house.

It was our first year without trick-or-treaters. Gone was the doorbell ringing, Vito throwing his little body against the gate at the top of the stairs, the incessant barking, him panting his fish breath all over the place.

Yep, Vito could not have been happier. That is, until it was time for his costume:

Just because we don't have trick-or-treaters, doesn't mean we don't dress up!

And then he hated Halloween all over again.

PS: this is Day 1 of NaBloPoMo, bee-otches! bring it!

Halloween Eve

2011-10-30T19:40:00.003-04:00

Raise your hand if you've ever heard of 'doorbell night'.

Raise your hand if you've ever quietly tip-toed up to someone's front porch, rang their door bell, then run like hell behind the nearest bush/tree/car.

Raise your hand if you're 2 rather strong beers in while writing this blog post.

Still only me?

Well, then.

I remember being in grade school, sixth grade, to be exact. I was at my BFF's house on Doorbell Night. A few months earlier, at the end of summer, a new family had moved in next door to her. They had a daughter who was a year older than we were, in her first year of junior high. So when she came outside on Halloween Eve to find us jumping in a pile of freshly raked leaves (could we have been more lame????) and asked us if we wanted to ring doorbells with her, we were like "Heck, yeah!" (again, totally lame)

Our first target? My BFF's neighbor, who were a couple in their eighties. Wrong target? Yes. Did we care? No. We had a SEVENTH GRADER hanging out with us. What we didn't know was that in 4 years this seventh grader would be expelled for doing drugs during study hall. While we earned all A's in AP math.

The future Courtney Love dared us, and who could say no to a dare? So my BFF and I ran up to their lit doorstep, rang the doorbell, then high-tailed it behind the nearest tree.

And then we heard it.

A frail, little voice, calling out in the darkness, "Hello? Who's there? Hello?"

When she was safely inside, we regrouped behind the big oak.

"Do it again," Courtney Love urged us. "One more time."

Like Kurt Cobain, we couldn't say no to Courtney.

Once again we snuck up to the doorstep, pressed on the bell BZZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZZT!

And there she was, in her pink bathrobe, calling out the screen door. "Whoever this is, can you please stop ringing our bell? It's late. I'm going to turn off the lights now. This isn't funny."

I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I imagined my grandparents getting pranked on Doorbell Night, and I wanted to strangle their pranksters. I looked over at the future drug addict's wild mane of red hair, and I wanted to strangle her too. Why couldn't she leave us alone? Jumping in our pile of leaves.

I whispered to my BFF "LET'S GO", knowing her mother would have hot chocolate and mini marshmallows waiting for us.

We ran inside, unzipped our Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bags, and played with My Little Pony, while Courtney Love snuck cigarettes on the back porch.

like an iVirgin

2011-10-30T06:53:00.002-04:00

This is my very first blog post from my new iMac!

Mr. KK caved! And it only took 16 months! (My negotiating skills are getting better!)

And we got it just in time - NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo are just around the corner!

That's right, I'm signing up again to blog every day for a month. Two years ago, I did it, and I have to say, it felt pretty good.

A few years ago I also tried NaNo, and failed miserably. But, being fresh off of the BlogHer Writer's Conference (total rundown to come soon...perfect NaBlo post!), I'm inspired to get this novel out of me.

Let the iWriting begin!

Apparently, Siri can't write blog posts for you.

2011-10-19T20:54:00.001-04:00

But she can do just about everything else! I was BEYOND thrilled when the day came that I traded in my crackberry for the sleek iPhone 4S...no more phone resetting itself 6 times a day, or re-sending me emails from 3 months ago, or giving me error messages.

So to have not only this fantastically sleek new phone, but it came with a teeny tiny personal assistant inside? Sign me up!
(rest in peace, Steve Jobs, you were a true innovator)

Besides ooing and aaahing over my new phone, I've been struggling with a pressing question:

Are there any dish towels out there that actually DRY dishes? I don't mean 'move the water around' or 'leave lint behind'. I mean, truly dry the dishes, so that I could just put them in the cabinet instead of "drying" them, then setting them out to actually dry over night.

Other thoughts of note:

I'm taking the day Friday to head to NYC for the BlogHer Writer's Conference. I'm hoping to find my inspiration to get the old novel written and published. I'm supposed to go with an 'elevator pitch'. Funny thing is, I've been literally living the story for the last8 years, yet I don't even know how to begin to describe it. Perhaps I'll take the one-liner from this blog - "you can't make this shit up" - and run with it.

I don't want to jinx it, but we are FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY going to buy a new Mac for KK! Seriously, between that and the iPhone, it's a wonder I can sleep at night!

That's all for now, I'm hungry.

Siri! Make Mama some dinner!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

where i've been.

2011-10-05T20:01:00.006-04:00

Being an only child means a few things: you probably got what you wanted for Christmas growing up, you're not awesome at sharing, and you go on vacation with your parents.

The latter is true for us. (Some say all 3 are true, but they're just jealous!) Each year we go on a family vacation - just us and both sets of parents. I have to say, it's nice that our parents get along, and we're all so close. Really close.

This year, we took our family vacation across the country to Napa Valley. In a word: paradise. Mr. KK and I went on our honeymoon 6 years ago (or 5 years ago if you ask him), and we fell in love then. I spent WEEKS researching and putting together a kick-ass itinerary (which, I have to say, worked out marvelously. If you're planning a trip, I'm happy to share it!).

The sign of a good vacation is when you come home saying things like, "I want to move to Napa", "We could totally afford a $2MM winery" and "How hard could picking grapes be??".

We took almost 700 photos on our trip (caution: nerds with a new-ish camera!). Instead of boring you with the details, I've randomly selected 5 photos to share. I'm happy to say, the photo of both sets of parents in the shower together did NOT make the cut (don't ask).

Vacation would not have been fun if we were in 2 cars! Instead, we cruised the valley in one big car, which called for the "tush push" to get the unlucky traveler into the WAAAY back.

One of my favorite photos from the trip. Look how happy we look! I never look like that at work!

Did I mention the part about wanting to move to Napa? I could deal with this view every day.

We visited Mr. KK's aunt and uncle while in Cali. These are actual lemons that grow on their tree. No joke - they are the size of grapefruit!

We went on a hot air balloon ride! When in Napa, right?

it's time to get serious.

2011-09-25T21:52:00.002-04:00

Will I see you there?

5KK

2011-09-25T14:28:00.001-04:00

Holla!

Official time: 34:05.

NOTE: perfectly coordinated outfit with orange top with secret iPod pocket, turquoise shorts with orange and while stripes down the side, and sweaty red face.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

5K download

2011-09-06T17:48:00.003-04:00

I can officially say I ran my very first 5k this weekend.

My goal was to finish. Running the whole time, not stopping to walk once.

Check!

I did it in 34:05. My average pace was 11:25/mile, which was significantly better than the 12:30/mile I had been doing during training.

All in all, I was pretty damn proud of myself.

Mr. KK, his parents and my parents all showed up for the big event. While I think it was just a ploy for everyone to go out for breakfast, it was nice to have the support.

As a newbie, here are my impressions of my very first road race.

Overall observation: if you ever want to give your low self-esteem a kick start, hang out with the pre-race crowd, that is inevitably filled with long-legged, 6-packed individuals who prefer running with as little clothing on their lean bodies as possible.

Best T-shirt: "Blood, sweat and beers"

Most Disgusting Thing I Witnessed: the guy who ran barefoot. On dirty city streets. (Did I mention he was barefoot?)

Moment that made me question parenting: seeing a 4- and 6-year old running with their mother.

Most inspirational moment: watching a 90-year old man cross the finish line, after receiving tons of fist bumps mid-race from fellow runners.

Moment I could have done without: the pre-race "Oh my god I have to poop!" feeling.

Race moment I'm proud of: NOT pooping and finishing (tie)

Time to start training for 2012!

well, THIS is week of firsts

2011-08-17T10:48:00.003-04:00

On Monday, I received my first piece of 'hate mail' from a candidate applying for a position through Craig's List. (Listen, buddy, I don't make the jobs, I just work them.)

Today, I received a portfolio from a recent college grad who had worked as a tattoo designer. Her portfolio contained all cartoon-esque drawings of well endowed women with captions like, "I've never seen one so BIG!" and "It's too big to FIT!" and "Oooh, it's so sticky!"

Um, pass.

animal house

2011-08-15T19:37:00.002-04:00

I live next door to Dr. Dolittle.

If Dr. Dolittle were a 5-foot tall, middle-aged woman who was slightly off her rocker.

Ms. Crazytown has lived here for a while, and knew Mr. KK's grandmother when she was living in our house. In fact, Mr. KK's grandmother used to get a kick out of seeing this lady's ducks waddling across her backyard. Until the day she didn't see the ducks and found a wing - and only a wing - in her backyard.

Score 1 for the coyotes.

One Sunday night while we were walking Vito around the yard, she was in her front yard and waved us over.

I had avoided her up until this point (see? I'm an AWESOME neighbor. I totally leave you alone, and don't want to be up in your business. At all.), but we were more or less trapped. Mr. KK knew her from when he was younger, and when she was equally as nuts.

I can only take small talk for so long.

ME: "So, how many animals DO you have over here?"

The list went something like this:

- 8 dogs (yes, 8!)

- 2 finches

- 2 canaries

- a 25-gallon fish tank filled with goldfish

- a 55-gallon fish tank filled with mini sharks, sting rays, and other fish that are probably illegal

- 2 ducks (that spend their days in one of 3 kiddie pools in the front yard) (oh, and they follow her around like she's their mother)

- 7 duck eggs, ready to hatch any day!

- did I mention the 8 dogs???

A few additional points:

- their house is slightly bigger than ours. and there are times when I feel crowded just hanging out with Mr. KK and our stuff

- the biggest dog is a German Shepherd, the smallest is a chihuahua

- the dogs stay outside ALL OF THE TIME

- the dogs bark ALL OF THE TIME

- she had binoculars to check for hawks, who apparently enjoy swooping down and stealing ducks

A fun conversation:

ME: "Where do all of the dogs sleep?"

CRAZY: "Six of them sleep in our bed. The two big ones sleep outside."

Um, what?

ME: "You sleep with six dogs and one husband? I hope you have a King-sized bed."

CRAZY: "No, it's a queen. But it's big."

Sure, whatever you say, lady. I sleep with one husband and a 15-pound dog, and I can barely fit. Oh, one sleeps on your head? Comfy!

CRAZY: "Come back in 12 days when all of my duck eggs hatch!"

ME: "Oh, for sure. Where will those little devils live?"

CRAZY: "In the special cage I had constructed."

ME: "Great. Don't be suspicious if you see us having Duck a l'orange one night for dinner."

CRAZY: ((look of horror))

ME: "Kidding. I'm kidding."

Sort of.

Help me win 10,000 big ones! Vote for "creative goes corporate"

2011-07-31T21:59:00.001-04:00

My Career, My Way : Lucky Magazine

you know what 'bucket' rhymes with, right?

2011-07-27T21:53:00.002-04:00

Over the past few months while I was not updating my blog, I was training for a 5k.

A few things you should know:

1. I hate running.

2. See #1

Let's face it, I've never been a big fan of exercising in general. But, when I turned thirty muffled number here, I decided that I would put "run a 5k" on my Bucket List.

Good times.

Here's my history with running:

- in Junior High, as part of gym class, we were forced to run 1 mile. Each and every one of us must run 4 laps around the track, and we had to stay until we finished.* I (begrudgingly) ran a 15-minute mile in raspberry-colored high-top Converse sneakers, my friend Kate cheering me on the whole way. I seem to remember being late for my next class and having wicked shin splints.

- in college, my roommates and I went to watch the Boston Marathon. The lead female runner ran the entire race with diarrhea and her period. She actually ran the race with watery poop streaming down her legs and into her socks. And she didn't stop once. I was scarred for life.

- in my mid-twenties I signed up to run the "Corporate Challenge" through my company. My friend T-Nice and I trained for weeks, jogging up and down Commonwealth Avenue. I even spent some time at the gym on the treadmill. As the big day approached, my company let me know that they 'over booked' the Challenge, and there wasn't a spot for me to run. All of that training for nothing. I quit cold turkey.

Which brings us to present day.

In an effort to be healthier, I convinced a friend to do the 'Couch to 5K' with me. I set my goal as Labor Day weekend and the New Haven Road Race. After all, it was 4 months away.

The first week was great. 60 seconds of jogging? Bring it on!

The second week, my running partner told me she was pregnant.

((sigh))

But to her credit, she's been doing awesome. She rests when she needs to, and runs along side me when she can.

We're almost done - up to 2.75 miles.

For someone who hated running, I think I've finally made peace with it.

I feel good. I've lost some weight. I'm eating better.

Will I run with the runs?

Um, never.

I'm not THAT crazy.

*I'm sorry, does anyone else see this as child abuse? If this were today, the gym teacher would have been fired, I'd have been paid a hefty sum to rectify my 'emotional state', and I would have a Lifetime movie deal.

Animal Hoarders

2011-07-22T16:32:00.003-04:00

You've seen the show. You know what it's about. People keeping too many cats, or dogs, or ferrets.

Well, we seem to have hoarding going on in our house, too:

pictured left to right: Vito, Boar, Slipper (not an animal), Pink Panther, Big Reindeer, Marten, Little Reindeer and Stupid Toy (not sure what it is).

(Not pictured, but on the floor in front of the couch: Lambie Doodles, Squirrel, Purple Monkey and Plaid Monkey.)

Vito is truly enjoying his window seat that we had built out for him in the new house. So much so, that we constantly have a menagerie of toys like a trail of breadcrumbs leading up to his brown blanket.

Vet = nightmare

2011-07-13T22:23:00.001-04:00

This is how Friday's vet visit went down.

6am-3:39pm: freak out about giving Vito his pre-vet tranquilizer.

3:40pm: administer tranquilizer. this is done by masking the little peach pill in a piece of yummy provolone. Vito doesn't even chew.

3:41pm: Vito and I stare at each other.

3:42pm: ((blink))

3:45pm: Vito gets tired of our staring contest and retreats to the couch. I follow, afraid he's going to fall out of his window seat.

3:52pm: Vito closes his eyes and I have a mini heart-attack. I place my hand on his soft white chest fur; his little heart is beating a million miles a minute. He opens an eye and gives me a look that says, 'Seriously, mom?'

4:15pm: Vito hears a noise outside and starts barking his head off. Tranquilizer has not yet kicked in.

4:21pm: I leash Vito up for our big adventure.

4:22pm: it starts pouring. Of course it does.

4:34pm: We are three minutes from the vet's office and Vito starts howling and squealing. He knows where we're going and the tranquilizer is yet to start working.

4:38pm: last minute poop on the vet's lawn while being pelted by rain. Make that TWO poops.

4:40pm: the receptionist recognizes my little monster and makes a quiet call to the back.

4:41pm: we're brought to Room 2. Vito hides under the bench. He's so nervous he's leaving little sweaty paw prints on the floor.

4:43pm: a vet assistant visits with the Hannibal Lector muzzle. She takes Vito in the back.

4:45pm: guttural crying from the back.

4:47pm: they must be shoving bamboo shoots under his fingernails.

4:49pm: silence! Oh no wait, he was taking a breath.

5:11pm. The vet brings Vito out. He had his shots and has a nice manicure. He has also pooped himself, as usual.

5:12pm: "I'm sorry. I gave him the tranquilizer, but I don't think it worked." I apologize. "no worries," the vet says, "the tranquilizer took the edge off for him."

That was the tranquilizer working???

5:34pm: bath time for Vito!

6:14pm: the tranquilizer kicks in, and we have one very stoned doggie.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

reason #237 why I'd be a bad mother

2011-07-08T15:37:00.002-04:00

We're trying something new.

In preparation for our big vet trip in just one hour, I just gave him a Tranquilizer for the first time.

And I cried the whole time.

As bad as prior vet trips have been - muzzling him until he looks like Hannibal Lecter, hearing him squeal bloody murder when the doctor so much as looks at him, and - my personal favorite - Vito pooping himself in fear - they seemed tame compared to the thought of giving prescribed narcotics to my little boy.

I'm paranoid! I drugged my dog! What's going to happen to him? Is he going to all of sudden pass out? Slurring his bark? Demand brownies and potato chips?

Me + medicine + children = probably not a good idea.

feeling beachy

2011-07-05T21:37:00.004-04:00

Last week, after charting the air and cloud patterns and stalking The Weather Channel, I decided to take a 'me day'. Because of my research and diligence, my 'Me Day' was a perfect 80 degrees with plentiful sunshine and billowy clouds.

I spent my 'Me Day' at the beach, relaxing and reading.

While on the beach, I met a cute boy named Tristan. He had the bluest eyes and blondest hair.

Oh, and he was 2 years old.

Technically, I didn't meet Tristan. However, I felt I knew him intimately, due to his mother screaming - loudly and incessantly - her little boy's name.

"TRISTAN! COME BACK HERE!"

"TRIIISTAN! PUT THAT DIRTY SHELL DOWN!"

"TRISTAN MICHAEL! DON'T MAKE GET OUT OF THIS CHAIR!"

You see, what this mother did not realize, was that two-year-olds do not find sitting quietly on a beach much fun, while their mother reads UsWeekly and texts her friends.

And please don't send me hate mail if you're a mother who enjoys beach time with their children. Hey, I'm a beach baby myself. My mother was hard-core. She'd go to the beach, covered in baby oil, lying on that foil blanket-thing to maximize the sun's rays on the underside of her thighs. And when she didn't want to miss valuable sun time, she'd bring me along. She used to bury my jar of food (yes, I was raised on formula and jarred pears, oh the horror!) to heat it up for my lunch.

So I get bringing your kid the beach.

However, if you're going to bring your child to the beach, there are rules that must be followed:

- you must sit AT LEAST 20 feet away from me; there's a whole beach here, there is no reason why you must occupy the sand directly next to me

- if you come to beach with more paraphernalia for one hour than I do for a week's vacation, please turn around

- there is no screaming at the beach

- kids who run on the beach kick up sand. I hate getting sand on my towel/hair/legs/face

- the lifeguard is not your child's babysitter

- the ocean is not your child's toilet

- leaving a diaper on a baby under a bathing suit just causes diaper rash

Speaking of children in bathing suits, it was almost too much when this mother - a half hour after arriving at the beach - says to her son, "Tristan, come here and Mommy will put your bathing suit on you."

Um, is there any reason why that wasn't done BEFORE you got to the beach???

BOOK REVIEW: 'Just Let Me Lie Down'

2011-07-05T21:14:00.003-04:00

I just finished reading 'Just Let Me Lie Down - Necessary Terms For The Half-Insane Working Mom' by Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Real Simple magazine.

I had been wanting to read this book ever since hearing a friend (a working mom!) tell me about it. The way she described it to me is, "When you write your novel, it's exactly how I imagine the writing would be."

I took that as a compliment.

Because reading this book has made ME want to write MY book.

It's sweet and funny, and a quick read. vag Ogtrop (wow, that IS a mouthful) has an easy writing style about her. Real Simple is one of my favorite magazines, and one of the few that made the cut over the last year (others fell to the wayside for reasons like, 'Let's save money!' or 'I've seen that Cameron Diaz photo in 12 different places!' and 'One less address to change!').

Working Mothers will like 'JLMLD'. Not because they are going to carry it around like it's the next Dr. Spock book. But because they can relate. And, if nothing else, go to bed thinking, 'Wow, I thought my life was insane! I got it easy!'

Working Non-Mothers (like me!) will also like 'JLMLD'. Although, I have to say, after reading everything that van O juggles, I couldn't help but feel slightly inferior. Here I am, working a normal 8-6 job, no kids, no extra-curricular activities besides enjoying cocktails on the patio, and I find it difficult to find time to do laundry or buy my husband deodorant.

So now that I finished 'Just Let Me Lie Down', it's time for me to stop lying down, and start doing some writing. Every time Real Simple hosts a 'Life Lessons' writing contest, I always say I'm going to enter. Last time I got as far as writing out a few paragraphs (progress!).

If you're looking for a fun summer read, that's light and easy and may cause you to double up on birth control (kidding!*), pick up 'Just Let Me Lie Down'.

*sort of

carded.

2011-07-02T18:47:00.003-04:00

To protect my new stove - er, our bright and shiny new house - Mr. KK and I put in an alarm system.

We don't live in a high-crime neighborhood, but we do live off the main street down a long, dark driveway, surrounded by eerie woods. Even writing that sentence gave me the creeps. You see, Mr. KK's grandmother used to live here, and on the night of her husband's wake, she was robbed. The lessons here are:

1. never advertise in the newspaper that you will be away from your house for, let's say, a wake or funeral, or even a honeymoon. (and certainly don't post it on a blog!)

2. the world is filled with asshats

I'm a neurotic door-locker, so an alarm for those times that Mr. KK works late or is traveling made sense. Plus, this house was robbed before! What if they're casing the joint again??*

*they're not.

The only issue with having an alarm, is having a dog who likes to jump on furniture and into the new window seat we built for him and set off the motion detectors. The first time we set the alarm, we weren't 10 minutes down the road and the alarm company called us. We pulled an illegal U-ey and headed back home, and begged them to un-dispatch the police.

So obviously there's an issue. So I called the alarm company and requested to have someone come out and see if we could lessen the sensitivity or something like that.

So on Friday at 4pm I watched the nicely-marked XYZ Security van come down our driveway, and smiled as the nice man in the XYZ Security t-shirt came to the door.

"Hello. Do you have picture ID?" I asked him.

He answered with a dramatic and - what I would say utterly exaggerated - sigh, and walked back to his van. He rummaged around for a bit and came back with a badge.

And, in an exasperated tone says to me, "Here it says XYZ Security. That right there is my name. And there's a picture of me." He left a silent, 'Satisfied?' in the air between us.

I replied with a sweet 'thank you' and we got to work.

I felt my request for ID was a legitimate one. After all, I was inviting him in to help me work on the security of my house. Maybe he hijacked the REAL security guy 2 blocks away, looked up my address, and came over to attack me.

Or maybe I watch too much CSI.

yep. i'm back, baby.

2011-06-30T07:58:00.003-04:00

If I were to describe the last two months in one word: ridiculously insane.

(okay, that's two words. but that should only prove how truly crazy it has all been)

The big news is: WE MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE!

This also means that:

1. We sold our house. It's never a good sign when your realtor says, "In my 30 years of real estate, I've never experienced selling a house quite like this." Besides the FOUR times we were under contract, we dealt with radon, termites, a possible underground oil tank and asbestos. But we got to kiss* our shit-ass neighbors good-bye!

*Our kiss was in the form of one specific and slender finger being extended upward in the direction of their house and crappy caravan.

2. I have fallen in love with my orange beast of a stove. It's amazing. So far I've only used 3 burners at a time. But wait until Thanksgiving - 8 burners and 2 ovens will be fired up. We won't have to heat the house for a month!

3. I lived out of my car. Shameful, but true. Between keeping our valuables away from all of the strangers walking through our house, to packing up our lives and not knowing where anything was, I became the girl with the Trash Car. You name it, I was driving around with it:

diamond earrings
marriage license
leftover tiles to be returned to Lowe's**
makeup and hair products
sneakers
bills and checkbooks
vito's leash

**still in there.

4. I have 2,357 mosquito bites. Buying more acreage = bug city.

5. I'm no math wizard, but when you move from a larger house with lots of storage to a smaller house with less storage, something doesn't add up. For instance, in our old house, we had a built-in cedar closet in the basement, where we would house all of off-season clothes. Now, all of my sweaters and boots are in boxes piled up in the spare bedroom. We lost an entire room of furniture, which is conveniently in the garage***

***the garage, which should be filled with our cars, is bursting with large tools, furniture, boxes, wall hangings, and more furniture.

6. I'm a hot mess every morning. I still don't know where anything is. My poor shoes are in boxes, and I never have time to dig through to truly find 'the right pair' to wear each day. We didn't find the iron until last week, so I was wearing just a select few outfits to work, since everything else was a wrinkled mess.

7. A to-do list a mile long:

paint the mudroom
scrape, prime and paint the study
put bars and shelving in closets
make butcher block counter top
organize basement
make yard look less Sanford and Son
convince Vito that we aren't going home, we are home
hang stuff on our barren walls
clean out garage
remember what cabinet the dishes are in

And yes, even with all of my complaining, it was truly worth it. We couldn't be happier. I couldn't love my kitchen and its 47 cabinets any more. And we couldn't miss our old neighbors any less.

(I missed you, blog world!)

Age over matter

2011-04-27T21:01:00.001-04:00

I celebrated a birthday recently.

It wasn't a milestone birthday in the sense that they had a selection of cards in the store calling out my numerical age. But is was a milestone because It was the first birthday I've had that I've felt OLD.

My bones are creaking and cracking.
My eyesight is creeping away from 20/20.
My metabolism has packed up and left town.

But I still have my wit, right???

In honor of my - ahem - 37th birthday, I have composed a list of little wisdoms I have learned.

1. Shoes make the girl
2. Mascara works wonders
3. It's okay to ignore a friend request, especially if they're not a 'friend'
4. You only drink like you're 25 once...when you're 25
5. Nobody puts baby in the corner. Ever.
6. Saying you're going to exercise only counts as exercise until you're 28, then it catches up to you, and you actually have to get off your ass
7. You can always count on your parents
8. There's a lot of truth in the answer you give when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up (my answer: a writer)
9. Dress for your body
10. Have one interest that you could lose yourself in for hours

Happy birthday to my fellow Aries!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

apologies

2011-03-29T09:41:00.001-04:00

apparently my work computer is not blogger friendly. so my last post appears a really long paragraph. it's ugly, i know, but worth reading. (sorry!)

how to put up a backsplash and stay married

2011-03-29T07:39:00.005-04:00

It seems it's easy to do home improvement projects in harmony as a couple. I watch A LOT of HGTV. I see the naive couples look at each other and say, "We can totally take down this wall and open up the kitchen!" Cut to the scene where the man is trying to hold up a wall with his back while the Sheetrock rains down on him, the woman holding a sledge hammer, shaking her head with a look of disdain. I'm proud to say that this weekend, that was NOT me and Mr. KK. Oh, we've had our share of - ahem - renovation fun. In fact, we're such big house nerds, that since we've lived in Boston we have "Home Improvement Fridays", which pretty much means that we stay in, order some food, and tackle a project. In our current house, many times that project was hanging something on the walls. Now, let me preface this by saying that once I paint a wall, I'm rather* selective as to what goes on it. Also, I hate putting holes in a fresh wall. Case in point: 75% of our second floor is bare walls. We've lived in the house for over 5 years. I have issues. *VERY Also, our house is old and has plaster walls (read: they crumble like feta the minute you tap them with a nail). Hanging something on plaster walls is maddening. I think that as a new form of punishment for crimes, felons should be told they have to hang 100 pictures on plaster walls, perfectly straight. We are renovating a house that it seems we will NEVER move into (separate blog post to discuss THAT ridiculousness). We're at the point when all of the big stuff is done, so we spend weekends filling in nail holes in the trim with plaster (with my small fingers, which haven't seen a manicure since DECEMBER), painting (and re-painting) the walls and...the back splash. It was back-breaking work, but for 6 hours on Saturday, we harmoniously created this:

reason #389 why i love mr. kk

2011-03-18T11:08:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we exchanged the following texts:

ME: "Katie Perry is going to be in concert in June!!! Would you go and see her with me?"

(read: will you go to a concert with me that is going to be filled with women and 12-year-olds singing 'baby, you're a fiiiiiirework...come and let your colors buuuuurn')

MR. KK: "Sure!"

(read: yes. and I will even use an exclamation point because i know it will make your day.)

I want my $2.00!

2011-03-06T12:49:00.001-05:00

I love the grocery store. It's like my Mecca. I love nothing more than strolling the aisles on a Saturday morning around 7:30am, tea in hand, planning my weekly menu before the rest of the world wakes up.

This past Saturday morning, Mr. KK was up and wanted to join me.

So together we headed out. I don't want to sound like a senior citizen, but can you believe the price of groceries these days?? Pretty soon I'll have to choose between electricity and pork chops.

We grabbed a bag of frozen raw shrimp, something I always have in the freezer. The jumbo 21-25 count were on sale for 15.98, $4.00 off.

After we checked out and dropped a small fortune (seriously, why can I NOT escape the grocery store for under $100??) I was reviewing my receipt and saw that they only took $2.00 off the shrimp, making them $17.98 instead of $15.98.

KK: "I'm going to the service desk. The shrimp rang up wrong."

Mr. KK gave me that look, the one that says 'oh good lord you're going to embarrass me'.

I know it was only $2.00, but it was about principal.

Standing in line at the service desk, Mr. KK looked like as happy as he would were he waiting for a rectal exam.

KK: "Why don't you start putting the groceries in the car...I know how uncomfortable this makes you."

I'm not sure I even finished my sentence before seeing the back of his head.

When it was my turn I explained the situation. The girl first checked the circular (no luck), then called the seafood department. Twice.

SERVICE GIRL: "These aren't the ones on sale for $15.98. The smaller ones are."

KK: "These are the size on the sign. In the bin."

I'm a writer. I read EVERYTHING.

We have a staring contest until she says, "I can give you the $2.00 difference even though those aren't the ones on sale."

KK: "I will take the $2.00, since those ARE the ones on sale."

I proudly took my money and walked out.

When Mr. KK saw me I flashed the two bills.

And I would have waited twice as long for half the amount of money.

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nose-picking on an interview is a no-no*

2011-02-24T13:44:00.004-05:00

You would think this type of advice should go unsaid.

Not for one of our candidates.

Who apparently sat in the SVP Creative Director's office, putting his most prominent digit to work, digging for green goodies.

And then flicking his findings onto the director's uber expensive, hand-woven Persian rug.

*Unless it's a phone interview.

might be time for a bucket list (of sorts)

2011-02-23T17:04:00.003-05:00

Last night, I almost died on the Merritt Parkway.

While that sounds overly dramatic, it is a miracle that I'm not in a hospital right now.

I was cruising along the death trap known as the Sikorsky Bridge at a comfortable - and respectable - 55mph. I was about 20 feet from an on ramp when a car simply COASTED through the stop sign and onto the highway. Going 20. And not accelerating.

I leaned on the horn and slammed on my brakes...so much so that my brakes were grinding and I was seriously wondering if my car would stop.

By some miracle - and minimal swerving into the left lane of 65-mph traffic - I SOMEHOW managed to A) not hit the IDIOT who pulled out in front of me at a snail's pace, B) not get rear-ended by the truck behind me, and C) avoid getting smashed on my left side by other cars.

Unscathed, I drove home shaking ridiculously, going 40 mph behind the person who almost killed me.

I didn't have one of those 'my life flashed before my eyes' moments (my mind was more like, 'WTF is this person doing???').

But as I drove home at a Granny's speed, I realized that if something HAD happened to me, there were lots of things I would have left this world without doing.

Namely:

I've never seen the Grand Canyon.
I've never sipped wine at a sidewalk cafe in Italy.
I don't own a pair of Louboutins.
I haven't lived in my new house or cooked on my new stove!
I've never tasted caviar.
I haven't written my novel.
I haven't won Powerball.
I'm not back to a comfy size 6.
I haven't been on The Food Network.
I'm not a celebrity's BFF.
I have not reached 100 years old.

Time to make some lists.

It's always something...

2011-02-19T07:21:00.001-05:00

This Sunday is my grandmother's surprise 90th birthday party. Coincidentally, it is also my other grandparents' 68th anniversary (how did my grandmother put up with my grandfather all those years? That is another post in itself!)

Using their anniversary as the decoy seemed a perfect plan, so my mother called up my grandmother yesterday.

MOM: "Rose, we are going to take my parents out to dinner on Sunday for their anniversary, would you like to come?"

GRAM: "No, thank you. I think I'm going to stay home. I would feel weird going, it's their celebration."

What the...?

MOM: "Rose, you have to come! They would be disappointed if you weren't there."

GRAM: "No, I think I'll pass."

Pass? I don't think so.

Who do you think my mother's next phone call was to?

MOM: "KK, you need to convince your grandmother to go on Sunday. She is NOT staying home, and we are NOT ruining the surprise."

Everyone knows when it's time to bring in the big gun. I just wish I had this amazing power to close deals at work. Perhaps I should start placing 90-year old ladies.

(She's coming, BTW)

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Please file under "you can't make this sh*t up"

2011-02-15T08:40:00.003-05:00

If there's one thing my family has going for it, it's longevity. I am blessed to still have 3 living grandparents. And one of those grandparents - my grandmother Rosie - just turned 90.

90!

And besides being slightly hard of hearing (even with hearing aids, which leads me to believe that hearing aids DO NOT WORK), Rosie is in awesome condition. (Do you love how I just spoke about my grandmother like she was a car?)

To celebrate Rosie's 90th birthday, the family is throwing her a surprise party this weekend.

And yes, I see the irony...'Surprising a 90-year-old? Are you crazy???' But please don't think all of us jumping out and screaming "Surprise!" will stop her ticker. Did you see the part where I said she was hard of hearing? To her, she will hear a mere whisper of "Surprise!" or turn to my Dad and ask, "Supplies? What supplies?"

To this wonderful surprise party we have invited a bunch of her friends from the "active retirement community" in which she lives.

The other night, my father got the very last RSVP from a nice elderly woman named Josephine, who would be honored to come to the party. (In case you're wondering, she's having the shrimp).

DAD: "The last lady has called and she's coming. But she doesn't have a ride."

KK: "What about the 8 other people coming from the complex? Can't she get a ride with them?"

DAD: "All of their cars are full. So I volunteered YOU to pick her up and bring her to the party."

Um...what?

KK: "Dad, I've never even met this woman. Are you sure she can't squeeze into one of the cars from the complex?"

DAD: "Nope. Cars are full. And plus they'd never be able to fit her walker."

January was fun and all...

2011-02-02T16:44:00.001-05:00

...if you don't count the fact that we've had more snow than ever before. "inches" has been replaced by "feet" in every weatherman's vocabulary.

And, in January, Mr. KK and I began detox. I'm sad to say that sobriety may very well have ruined drinking for us both. When I finally had that first glass of wine, I was pretty much like, "Meh". What have we DONE???

We learned a lot during our month on the wagon:

* Mr. KK is much better at Scrabble when he isn't drinking
* Non-hangover Saturday mornings are VERY productive
* Mr. KK snores whether he's drunk or sober. I, however, only hear him when I'm also sober
* Dining out and drinking only seltzer makes for a very cheap bill
* Life is just sometimes better with a martini

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Awesome party dip

2011-01-30T08:44:00.001-05:00

I have to give props to Rachel Ray...this dip is easy and tasty, and always the thing to go at a party.

Creamy Olive Dip

1 pkg cream cheese, room temperature (8oz, I use light)
1cup part-skim ricotta
1 jar small stuffed manzanilla (green) olives, drained well
1 clove of garlic
Salt and pepper

In a food processor combine all ingredients until smooth.

Serve with endive leaves, celery and carrot sticks. Also awesome on crackers.

See? Totally easy.

And addicting.

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Would you want to know?

2011-01-22T18:20:00.001-05:00

I found a great web design candidate the other day on LinkedIn. Via email, we set up an interview for Thursday.

The last email I received from the candidate read:

"The form has been filled out. I look forward to meeting you tomorrow at 1.

On an important note, I wish to be upfront: I don't hear too well. I read lips and communicate just fine in a quiet setting. Asides from phones, it's hardly an issue in the workplace."

Now of course the only thing I could stress about was how I was going to interview this candidate, knowing he was hard of hearing? What if I caught myself talking louder? What if I made an idiot of myself?

On the other hand, was it better to know so I was prepared?

Would YOU want to know???

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Is giving the finger considered a command?

2011-01-18T18:20:00.001-05:00

I like to think I'm a law-abiding citizen. I pay my (ridiculously over-priced) taxes. I clear the sidewalk in front of my house of snow for the mailman. And when I'm driving, I only use my cell phone when I'm 'hands-free'.

In fact, if I see you driving and either: a) holding your phone to your ear b) holding your phone and yelling into it while it's on speaker or c) texting, there's a pretty good chance I'm screaming obscenities at you. Especially if you're driving like an asshat.

So in my plight to always be hands-free while behind the wheel, I tried to use the voice-activated dialing on my phone. Look at me! Setting an example for thousands of law breakers!

The other morning I'm driving into work and I thought I'd check in with my dad. I click the little button on the side of the phone.

"Say a command." the nice female automated voice says. We'll call her Lana.

ME: "Call Mom and Dad."

(pause)

LANA: "Say a command."

ME: "CALL MOM AND DAD!" (screaming. Like an idiot)

LANA: "Did you say, 'Call Jen Smith?"

ME: "NO."

LANA: "Did you say, 'Call Boss At Home'?"

What??

ME: "NO! NO I DIDN'T!"

LANA: "Calling Boss At Home."

ME: "NO! UNDO! CANCEL! DON'T CALL! STOP CALLING!!!"

LANA: "Say a command."

ME: "Lana what are you thinking???"

LANA: "Calling Paul's Pizza."

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this wagon sucks.

2011-01-16T12:12:00.002-05:00

In case you can't hear us lamenting for drinks in your neck of the neighborhood, Mr. KK and I are on the wagon for the month of January.

Truthfully, it hasn't been that bad. I'm surprised I haven't floated away with all of the seltzer I've been drinking. We've been sleeping well, flushing out the old system, and saving money.

Saturday morning, after a night out with my uncle from California, I woke up feeling hungover. Which is suspect, considering I had zero alcohol, and basically drank my weight in club soda.

WTF?

Now, I wouldn't have minded waking up like that if I had actually HAD a drink. Because normally, these nights out for dinner with him consist of he and I going martini for martini, sharing the same old stories and having a good ol' time.

Instead, I sipped on my gigantic water, jealously eying my uncle as he sucked the plump, green olives dry of vodka. Downing one, then two, then an unnecessary third dry martini. Asking us the same questions four and five times. Squinting at me over the rim of his glass. Slurring just a bit.

Three martinis and Saturday morning he popped right up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Ready to start the day.

17 glasses of water and I'M the one who wakes up feeling hungover???

Apparently my new year's resolution wasn't to blog more

2011-01-12T16:48:00.001-05:00

Well, it's 2011. It feels a little late to bore you little with my resolution blog (which would consist of: do more things for myself, find more time to write, and sell my house...and not necessarily in that order).

But I will ask you to have a drink for me, because Mr. KK and I are on the wagon. January is detox month. And besides my longing for white cranberry martinis, ice cold beers in frosty mugs, and glasses of wine by the fireplace, I hardly miss drinking at all.

(perhaps my new year's resolution is to be more sarcastic. That I can do no problem)

Our house renovation project is slowly coming to a close. Besides our countertops, the big stuff is pretty much done. It's the small, annoying, time-consuming stuff that's left. When we went toilet shopping a few weeks ago, I thought nothing could be worse. Then I spent four hours on Sunday filling in nail holes in door and window trim with putty and my finger. Now THAT'S what I call a fun weekend. Between that and no drinking, Mr. Kk and I really know how to live it up.

And I wish I had the strength to tell you about our actual new year's eve, when Mr. KK's friends invited us over, then two weeks later made other plans to go out. WTF? I hate to complain, because it was a blessing in disguise. I wasn't feeling well, and we got to stay in and cook a yummy supper and drink and play games by the fireplace. It was a really nice way to end a really shitty year. And I'm sorry, but can someone politely ask Dick Clark to retire? I love America's Teenager as much as the next guy, but watching him is tough. I think even Ryan Seacrest can take over the countdown.

2011 is already shaping up to be an exciting year. We're buried under 18 inches of snow, giving me yet another day off. I made 2 placements at work this week. My grandmother is turning 90 in a few weeks. 2010 is just a distant memory. And I like it like that.

Happy new year, almost a fortnight late!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I'm smarter at 4am

2010-12-21T04:34:00.001-05:00

Figured out blogger for the iPad! Thankfully you all no longer have to suffer through 375-word blog titles posing as posts.

I'm on vacation this week, so of course I woke up at 6am yesterday, and at 3:37am today. My inner clock is awesome like that.

Today we have a memorial mass for Mr. KK's grandmother, Helen. Today would have been her 92 birthday. I hope she approves of all the changes we're making to her house. I can hear her now, "An orange stove? Really?" (that would have been in italics, but I don't know where those are yet)

And tomorrow Mr. KK and I are headed for an overnight getaway to the casino. Since we are on our "saving money crusade" (and btw, it should really be called "spend no money crusade" because really, we're not saving shit between my reduced salary, renovating the house and how loosey-goosey we have to be with our credit cards (new toilets don't grow on trees!)

And speaking of new toilets, we bought one on Sunday. Have you ever shopped for a new toilet? H, there is little more thrilling than standing in the aisle at Home Depot discussing the flush pressure and seat height of ye old crapper. Should we get white, or white? Fascinating!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I got an iPad from my new job, except I can't figure out how to type in the body of my blog, only the titles. It's like twitter for blogging! Help!

2010-12-20T08:17:00.003-05:00

let the Christmas rush begin

2010-12-18T06:06:00.003-05:00

So here I am, just before dawn, sitting in the dark of my house, on the Saturday before Christmas. I'd like to say it's quiet, except Vito is sitting on the rug staring at my expectantly, emitting little cries that say "I'm hungry!" and "I have to poop!"

Today is officially my first day of my holiday vacation. I do not have to return to work until the Monday after Christmas.

What started out as a bunch of days seemingly filled with nothingness, has turned into a jam-packed week.

Today is our annual family cocktail party. We almost cancelled, due to the economy and the fact that I already packed away all of holiday serveware months ago with the prospect of moving. But it just didn't feel right to have a year go by and not have everyone over. We already didn't get a tree this year (it just makes the room look small...and we're trying to sell our house!), and I couldn't imagine skipping yet another holiday tradition.

On tonight's menu:

• roasted shrimp cocktail

• scallops wrapped in bacon

• beef empanadas

• mini blue cheese twice-baked potatoes

• pulled pork sliders

• greek salad skewers

• cheese and olives

And the featured cocktail is the White Grapefruit Cosmopolitan – a delicious mixture of grapefruit vodka, triple sec, lime juice and white cranberry juice, garnished with a few floating cranberries. It's beautiful and festive.

Also on tap for this week:

• Vito's manicure at the vet. This should prove to be a fun day, considering my little pup HATES having his nails clipped. BONUS: we also have to work in time for a bath, since he inevitably poops himself (literally scares himself shitless) every time.

• seeing the third Focker installment with both families. Mr. KK took both sets of parents to see "Meet the Fockers" a few years ago, and the tradition will continue. "Meet the Parents" is still my favorite movie of all time. ('I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?')

• memorial mass for Mr. KK's grandmother on her birthday. A good time to tell her how much we miss her, and how different (and awesome!) her house looks.

• a little over-night getaway to the casino. We haven't been in almost a year, as we've been trying to not spend any money. But this little trip makes a perfect Christmas gift to each other, and a $69 hotel room doesn't hurt either.

• and, oh yeah, Christmas shopping. Probably about time I started doing some of that!

Off to get my pork butt in the crock pot!

procrastination

2010-12-10T18:23:00.001-05:00

Right now I'm doing everything I can to procrastinate calling a candidate and telling him that I just found out today was his last day of work.

NOT the call you want to make on a Friday afternoon...or ever, for that matter.

Did I mention he has a newborn at home?

Good times.

(did I mention I'm procrastinating by drinking???)

good-bye, november

2010-11-30T21:08:00.002-05:00

Somehow, November always turns out to be an eventful month.

This year, we had A LOT going on with the new house. In fact, they just finished putting a third coat on our new hardwood floors, all of our gorgeous kitchen cabinets have been installed, and I've even started painting our new walls.

And then there's our current house.

Well, to quote myself in dire times, "It looks like we got porked again."

Not the best phrase, but the most appropriate. Read on, please.

Our buyers, with whom we were under contract, backed out of the deal. They had a hubbard clause that stated that they could back out in 45 days if they did not sell their house.

On the 45th day, they decided to back out of the deal. Their reason? They did not sell their house, or have any interest, offers or showing in the past or near future.

We offered them an extension on the hubbard, and they refused.

We offered the extension with a price reduction to compensate for them reducing the price of their house, and they refused. I believe their exact words were, "No thanks."

Why would you say no to a price reduction and extension if it gave you more time to sell your house?

Then, on Sunday, as we were walking off a delicious brunch from The Cheesecake Factory (have you ever had their baja chicken hash from their brunch menu??? It's TO DIE), we got a text from our agent.

Our ex-buyers' house had gone under contract.

WTF?

Within 10 days of saying adios to us because they had "no offers", they were under contract? In this market?

I don't this so.

In true KK fashion, I fired back a quick, bitter email that said something like, "Really? Sounds fishy to ME!"

But the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

They just wanted OUT of our house deal. The woman never felt comfortable after the inspection found higher levels of radon (now reduce, $1100 later, thank you very much...). They probably felt like they were over-paying.

How could they go from "zero interest" to "under contract" in that short amount of time? Even negotiating takes days.

So after seeing their house under contract, our real estate agent reached out to their agent. Surely, now that they had buyers, they'd want to go back under contract with us, right???

Riiiiiight.

"Sure, they're still interested, but they're looking at other properties," their agent told ours. "Today is the first day they are looking at houses again. They just LOVE the area!"

He signed off with a 'don't call us, we'll call you' mentality.

And that, my friends, is how you get porked.

the environment vs my sanity

2010-11-29T21:09:00.003-05:00

There I was, wearing my flannel leopard-print pajamas, lugging a load of laundry down two flights of stairs, when the doorbell rang.

Of course, Vito went nuts. And there, smiling and waving at me through the glass french door, was an earthy-crunchy young girl, who was probably 22, but didn't look a day over 14.

She was wearing one of those knitted woolly caps with the ear flaps that they used to try and sell to you at college for $5, or in the parking lot of Grateful Dead concerts; the kind that smell like mishandled sheep when they get wet. She probably had a handbag made of hemp.

Little Mother Nature is still smiling and waving, so I put down the laundry and open up the door to the foyer.

Last year around this time, we had another Phish groupie come to our door, when Mr. KK was home. And before I knew it, my dear sweet husband, who doesn't have a mean bone in his body, had invited this granola weirdo in to use our bathroom ("because it's cold! and he has to pee!).

But I wasn't answering without ammunition. So I picked up a severely barking 15-pound killer and cracked open the front door.

KK: "Yes?"

VITO: "BARK. BARK. BARKITY BARK."

TREE HUGGER (screaming through the storm door, above the barking lunatic): "Hi! I'M....blah blah...ENVIRONMENT...blah blah....CLEAN AIR....yada yada...something."

KK: "Now isn't really a good time for me."

VITO: "BARK BARK I'M GONNA GNAW YOUR LEG OFF BARK BARK!"

TREE HUGGER: "But I'm only in your neighborhood tonight."

Right. Vito is scratching the shit out of my side right now with his need-to-be-trimmed claws.

KK: "As you can see...now? Is not the best time."

TREE HUGGER: "But...but..."

KK: "No thanks. No thank you. Good night."

VITO: "BARK BARK, MUTHA-EFFING BARK!"

And I shut the door on a girl who probably hadn't showered in a week.

Had Mr. KK been here, she would have been sitting at our dinner table by now.

finding thanks

2010-11-27T07:16:00.004-05:00

I've missed two or three days of blogging this year for NaBloPoMo.

And while I'm sure the blog world is so busy in their own bloggy life they would barely realize whether or not I wrote a post, I'm really disappointed in myself. It's very rare I set goals for myself (I've been to only 2 out of 10 zumba classes, for heaven's sake!). So failing at the one goal you do hope to achieve can really bring you down in the dumps.

The other day when I was complaining what a failure I was, Mr. KK replied with the sweet and reassuring words with which every husband should comfort his wife: "Do you think anyone really noticed?"

Ah, true love.

In my book, 2010 was a less-than-spectacular year. But Mr. KK and I tackled each hurdle, mainly with with humor and alcohol. It's why we're great together.

So when the idea of what to be thankful for came up on Thanksgiving, I immediately blurted, "I'll be thankful when this year is O-V-E-R."

It's true, 2010. Let's just say, you've set the bar low for 2011.

Sure, there are things to be thankful for:

A "normal" job. With "normal" hours.

I'm an amazing dog-mom.

We have a beautiful house that's almost finished and waiting for us.

Goat cheese.

But for some reason I still can't get over the fact that I blew it with NaBlo.

And, while I've been enjoying Mr. KK's mother's Mac over the last 27 days, it's probably time I returned it to its rightful owner. Which means I'll be stuck with the crappy PC, that takes forever to turn on, erases all my work if I move the wrong way, and quits my work when I breathe too hard.

Because if that's the case, you may not see me until January.

Unless I can wrangle a new Mac out of Mr. KK.

That would, in fact, renew my faith in 2010.

(just a little)

happy thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T07:20:00.002-05:00

As cliché as it sounds, I can't believe the holidays are here. I also can't believe the radio stations are playing Christmas songs and I haven't even had my turkey yet, but that's another story for another time.

This Thanksgiving, we're celebrating with both families, and even have Mr. KK's family from California joining us. It's the first holiday they've been a part of in the 10 years that Mr. KK and I have been together. They're used to quiet holidays on the West Coast, no family, just the 3 of them. Boy are they in for a surprise. Wait until they see a 90-year-old man down 3 beers before dinner. Or see Mr. KK's other cousin's kabookies, which I'm sure will be hanging out and need their own seat at the dinner table. And wait until they see all the food.

Oh, the food.

Even though the Thanksgiving First Course was ripped out from under me, I'm still making a yummy contribution this year. (I think my mother-in-law is allowing me to make so much as a consolation prize for not being able to host this year)

First, I'm making stuffing. This year I chose fig and pine nut stuffing. It's a little bready, but the flavor is pretty good.

Then I'm making my mini cornbread muffins. My secret is adding a can of creamed corn and shredded pepper jack cheese to the mix before baking.

For a veggie I'm cooking up brussel sprout hash with pancetta. I sauté the pancetta until it's crispy and then remove it from the pan. Then I take the sprouts, which I've halved and sliced very thin, and add them to the pan. Sauté them until tender, adding some chicken stock as needed. Then I throw the pancetta back in. So easy and delish.

Lastly, I baked my pumpkin cheesecake yesterday. If you follow this recipe to the letter, it will come out perfect every time, I guarantee it. (And if it doesn't, I will come to your house and make this cheesecake for you personally).

And, for that warm and fuzzy, I sent a generic "happy thanksgiving" email to 122 of my candidates at work. And I'll be a monkey's uncle, about 40 of them replied back and wished me the same.

Happy Thanksgiving, blog world!

I'm old-school like that

2010-11-23T20:12:00.002-05:00

Last week I received not one, but two hand-written thank you notes from candidates.

Once I got past the idea that I received actual snail mail at the office, I opened up the envelopes to reveal two beautiful note cards – one Papyrus, one Kate Spade – from candidates thanking me for meeting with them.

Not finding them temp work.

Not getting them their dream job.

They sent me thank you notes for simply taking the time to meet with them.

And the notes could not have been more heart-felt.

I was touched. And it made me remember why this job is so much more rewarding than my last, even if the dollar signs pale in comparison.

and perhaps the BEST part of the weekend...

2010-11-22T19:58:00.002-05:00

...was when my 90-year-old grandfather yelled out "tits!" at the Sunday dinner table.

road warriors

2010-11-21T20:12:00.002-05:00

I am lucky enough to have 3 grandparents still living.

My dad's mother is 89, and my mother's parents are 87 and 90.

They are neighbors in an "active adult community", where they run Bingo two nights a week, and my grandfather hustles the other tenants for quarters every Wednesday night playing poker.

And even at their ripe old ages, they are the epitome of health. In fact, two of them still drive.

Yes, they drive.

My 87-year-old grandmother – the spring chicken of the group – is the designated driver for my 89-year-old grandmother who never learned how to drive.

The two of them go everywhere together – to the hairdresser, to Target to "poke around", and even to McDonald's to split a filet o' fish on Fridays.

The other day, the two of them were heading home, and they decided to stop by the new house and visit, because they knew I'd be painting.

I never saw them.

Today I found out why.

GRANDMA 1: "We were going to stop by when you were painting, but we couldn't find the house!"

GRANDMA 2: "We got to the second bridge and I said, 'Rita, I think we went too far'."

KK: "Did you know the house number?"

GRANDMA 1: "No, we didn't know the number. But we sorta knew where it was. And I knew you had a black mailbox."

GRANDMA 2: "There were sure a lot of black mailboxes!"

GRANDMA 1: "Then we got to this crazy intersection, with cars going every which way. And I was worried because I didn't know where we were."

GRANDMA 2: "I told her, 'Rita, you should turn around'."

GRANDMA 1: "So I turned around in this BIG loopy driveway, and we went home."

KK: "So now do you know where it is?"

GRANDMA 1: "Well, now we know where it isn't."

i think my laughter woke up mr. kk

2010-11-20T19:18:00.002-05:00

last night i couldn't sleep, so i came downstairs to watch some TV.

at 3:27am, the only thing on is porn.

scrolling through the guide i came across this movie: "The Hills Have Thighs".

better yet was the description: 'sex-crazed mutants have their way with a hitchhiker'.

the best part? it was listed as a comedy.