On vacation hair, tricky wieners and Top Chef's gender confusion

Sunday night we returned home from vacation at 8pm. It was a much-needed vacation for the two of us.

We were both so tired, that we decided not to push ourselves to unpack and put everything away, as it would solidify the fact that vacation was truly over.

So after doing two loads of laundry, unpacking the cooler and bringing our clothes upstairs (I can't let anything sit), we retired to the couch to catch up on some TV.

As we watched Top Chef, I was playing with my hair. I pulled a strand under my nose and inhaled.

KK: "My hair smells like vacation. It smells like the cottage."

MR. KK: "Really? Let me smell."

He takes a whiff. Then he gives me a weird look.

KK: "What? It does." I inhale again. "I'm going to boycott vacation being over by not washing my hair. That way, whenever I start missing vacation at work tomorrow, I can smell my hair and I'll feel like we're back in Newport."

MR. KK: ((blank stare))

KK: "What?" (Look of innocence)

MR. KK: "That's gross."

****

Last week we not only brought Vito on vacation, but my inlaws brought their dog, too (Vito's cousin? Uncle? I'm not sure of the relation). Dino is also a dachshund, long and low to the ground, with a big chest and belly. He's got these sad eyes 24/7, even when he's happy to see you.

To celebrate being a Dachshund Daddy, my father-in-law purchases funny T-shirts with pictures of doxies on them. This particular day, he was wearing a T-shirt that had a line drawing of a dachshund with the line "My wiener does tricks".

So as we're walking around Bannister's Wharf, a woman comes up to him, laughing and pointing.

HER: "I like your T-shirt!"

FATHER-IN-LAW: "Thank you!" ((pause)). "I have one you know."

HER: (confused and embarrassed). "Um, what?"

FIL: (pointing to his shirt) "I have one. A wiener."

The poor flustered woman practically ran away. Not everyone is wiener-friendly, apparently.

****

So, as I mentioned, we've been catching up on our TV. Mostly Top Chef and Project Runway.

Last night we were watching yet another Top Chef episode and I couldn't help but notice that Ashley is slowly becoming less and less attractive. And by that, I mean she's starting to look less like a woman and more like a man. She went from spunky and cool to scary and macho. First it was the men's T-shirt with tattoos exposed, then it was the Drew Carey glasses. I'm half expecting her to show up in the next episode with a goatee.