chore whorin'

This past Saturday was the first weekend day I had in a LOOONG time that we didn't have any plans. So, that meant a full day of chores and errands! (insert crowd cheering here)

First on my list was to get myself and Mr. KK some sort of Halloween costume. I had landing on the two of us being Popeye and Olive Oyl, thought that would be cute and rather non-invasive. The pieces were on my list of thing to get on Saturday. Easy, right?

Famous last words.

My Saturday looked something like this:

9:35am
Pick up Mr. KK's dry cleaning.

9:38am
The shoemaker.

Dropped off my favorite boots to the shoemaker so they could (once again!) put new heel covers on them. This helps prevent me from making little round dents in our hardwood floors, thus preventing Mr. KK from frowning at me.

SHOE MAKER: "They'll be ready Thursday."
KK: "Okay. Please be careful with them. They're my favorites."
SHOE MAKER: "They'll be good as new and ready for another 10,000 miles."

I hope so.

9:43am
Make deposit at bank.

I was feeling lazy so I used the drive up teller. I have as much success at the drive-up teller than I do at the drive-up ATM. Meaning, I have to put the car in park, undo my seatbelt, and lean halfway out the window to reach the damn thing. Pretty much defeats the purpose of staying in the car.

9:51am
Goodwill.

Could there be a worse place on earth?

This visit was two-fold. First, I dropped off a bag of Mr. KK's clothes to the super-nice (not) people who work in the back. (I thought I hated MY job? These people put me to shame).

Then, I perused the racks in search of costume parts. The plan was to find blue pants and a black shirt for Mr. KK, and glue on yellow felt buttons and sew on a red collar. For me, I was going to wear a long black skirt, sew a white scalloped collar on a red top.

After a few minutes of searching (and feeling dirty and itchy) I gave up.

Number of costumer parts bought: 0

10:07am
Target

I told myself I was looking for costume parts, but what I really wanted to do was check out a pair of black riding boots I had seen online.

One pair of boots, one winter coat, one dress and one top later, I was out the door.

Number of costume parts bought: 0

11:34am
Michael's

I needed to get some picture frames so we could hang some stuff around out house. I'm tired of all the bare walls, and it looking like we have no family or friends to hang pictures of.

Holy cow, how the hell did I just spend $72 on frames???

Number of costume parts bought: 0

12:26pm
Party City

Back on the costume hunt. I see they have pre-made Popeye and Olive Oyl costumes, but it hardly seems worth it to spend $80 on ill-fitting costumes. I'm going to make my own, dammit! I search the accessories area. At least I can get Mr. KK's sailor hat and pipe.

Would you believe that the only hat they're sold out of if the sailor hat??? Is EVERYONE being Popeye (or Gilligan) this year? WTF?

I decide to ask the (underqualified) workers for help.

KK: "Hi. You seem to be out of sailor hats out here. Do you have any more in the back?"
WORKER: "Sale hats?"
KK: "Sailor hats."
WORKER: "Jail hats?"
KK: "SAILOR hats!"
WORKER: "I'll come look out there." (annoyed that I'm yelling. But, really? Come on.)

Apparently her eyes are better than mine, because I've searched the entire area.

She comes out and starts looking through all the hats. She picks up a camouflaged dessert hat.

WORKER: "This is all we have."
KK: "That's an army hat." (Um, hello?)

She picks up another hat.

WORKER: "Here it is."
KK: "That's a skipper hat."

WORKER: "How about this one?"
KK: "That's a captain's hat."

Are we going to be here all day playing this game? There are LOTS of hats.

WORKER: "I guess we're out."

Really? Thanks.

Number of costume parts bought: 1 – corn cob pipe. (So now Mr. KK can either be Popeye or Frosty the Snowman)

12:58pm
TJ Maxx

Maybe a pair of blue pants for Mr. KK? Black skirt for me?

Number of costume parts bought: 0

1:07pm
Old Navy

How could Old Navy NOT have a black T-shirt or polo shirt for Mr. KK. Oh, they do! And they're all smalls! Awesome!

Number of costume parts bought: 0

I'm tired and cranky at this point. And starving. I call Mr. KK.

KK: "I'm not having any luck."
MR. KK: "You sound weird."
KK: "I'm frustrated. And hungry." And when I'm hungry, I get mean. (Loveable, but mean)
MR. KK: "Oh, I could tell."
KK: "I'm stopping in one more place then I'm bringing lunch home for us."

1:21pm
Joann Fabrics

Even if I don't have the clothing, I could get the stuff I need to sew onto it, right?

I stare at all of the lace, collars and felt. It will take me forever to sew this shit on.

I purchase a wig and long black gloves.

New direction: we're going to be a flapper and gangster.

Now where can I find a zoot suit???