Monday, December 17, 2007

Haunted House Of Porn

I’m pretty sure our house is haunted. It’s an old colonial, with lots of drafts and creaky floorboards. And I don’t think we live there alone.

For instance, one night the CD player in the living room went on at 12:30 ALL BY ITSELF. I was letting Vito in the back door when I randomly heard Frank Sinatra crooning in the other room. FREAKY.

I also think our downstairs television is possessed. We’ll be watching a show and suddenly will hear these weird, eerie voices. The voices have nothing to do with the show, and they aren’t from some other show, either. It scares the crap out of me.

New development: these spooky voices are also pornographic.

Two quotes from the creepy TV voices last night:

“I’m looking for Dr. Sausage”

AND

“I’m wearing a strap-on dildo”

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