Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's gross to me that there's a need for this sign in a bathroom stall

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Quarter for your thoughts

This morning I was up WAY too early at the train station to head into NYC for a client meeting.

As usual, I had padded my time so much because I was paranoid I would be late, that I was sitting in the station - car parked, tickets and tea purcased - 25 minutes before my scheduled train.

I was half reading "In Touch" (ugh, as if regular Kendra wasn't bad enough, now we have pregnant Kendra!) and half people watching when a woman walked by and dropped a quarter while digging in her bag for coffee money. She ignored the dropped coin (as I would have done) and kept on walking.

Once she was safely inside Dunkin' Donuts, the man on the bench next to me ran over to the quarter and snatched it up off the filthy floor, like it was a $100 bill.

It was such a sobering sight.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

because the possibility of failure is what motivates me

I have decided to participate in NaBloPoMo this year!

This will be MUCH better than last year, when I attempted to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), some CRAZY ASS deal when you're supposed to write 50,000 words in a month. Although I was able to get 27 words down, I think starting that was a little ambitious for me, given my workload (from the place that actually PAYS me to write stuff).

THIS year, failure comes in a whole new form: National Blog Posting Month! For the entire month of November, I pledge to post on my blog at least one post per day.

Now, knowing what's ahead on my calendar in November (trip to Boston, hosting turkey day, black Friday), this is a huge undertaking for me.

However, I just learned how to post on my blog from my phone (oh yeah, I'm hip), so that should make it SO much easier. In the blink of an eye I can post my thoughts, ideas and pictures.
(Perhaps after week or so of random pictures of Vito, my kitchen, what I had for breakfast and strangers on the street, you may ask me to stop posting...)

So, stay tuned for 30 posts in 30 days, and learning WAY too much about kk.

the big 4-0

No, not my birthday!

My number of followers!

I'm so excited to see you followers and to read your comments and follow up on your blogs, too!

So, thank you, 40!

I write about all this madness for you!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

In case you needed proof

Of how crazy my life has been and how I have been too busy to post regularly, I present to you this photo.

It was taken today (october 27) of my desk calendar.

(My pretty shoe calendar says it's October 2.)


And yes, that's a giant Twix bar in the background.

Don't judge me.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Dear doctor,

I assume you make some good bank, and also assumed you'd have bought a watch with said salary.

I must've been mistaken.

Because obviously you have NO idea what time it is. Let me help you out: it is ONE HOUR after my scheduled appointment and I am STILL waiting for you.

I thought maybe you needed the 15 minute professor courtesy we used to give in college. But obviously you need much more.

I had a 9:30 appointment. In the morning. How can you be so behind so early in the day?

And is my time not as important as yours? I have a job, too (a pretty important one) that I am missing because I am sitting here, waiting for you.

Also? I think you need to send your staff back to school, becuase they obviously don't know the meaning of the phrase "the doctor would be right with you".

Because if they did?

I wouldn't be writing this.


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Sunday, October 25, 2009

top 10 things i learned in battle creek, michigan

10. Porn is a way of life. There's an adult "spa" every 2 miles. And, BONUS! Parking for semi trucks!

9. Their "best" pizza is the "worst" I've ever had. Boo! Deep dish pizza!

8. The Fairfield Inn IS the best hotel around. I had doubts. They've been laid to rest.

7. Soda is called "pop".

6. Places of business don't stay open on a Sunday. Well, places we need, at least.

5. People say "hi". And they mean it.

4. Interstate 94 is one LOOOOOONG highway.

3. 8 continous hours in a conference room with coworkers can make you go batty. (Don't think I needed Battle Creek for this one...)

2. Everything moves more slowly in the midwest. Our "quick" lunch in an empty Bennigan's took an hour and a half.

1. the speed limit is 70! So that means that you can go at least 80 (legally), right???

Saturday, October 24, 2009

there's a state shaped like a mitten!!!

That's what I hear!

And that's the great state of Michigan!

And I'm going there!

For a HUGE presentation for work!

And we're flying out Sunday!

And I have to get up at 4:30am to get to the airport!

And we're going to a REALLY bad area!

Where people are too scared to stop for gas!

And I'm forced to give up my personal day on Monday!

Don't I sound like the most excited employee on the planet!

(only 3 more days of pulling off this totally convincing "I'm-so-honored-to-go" front)

(at least I'll be able to cross Michigan off of my bucket list)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

who doesn't love cheese?

I love food. I love eating food. I love cooking food. And I love talking about food.

In fact, I'm SO passionate about food, sometimes I can't understand why someone doesn't like something that I LOVE.

I actually get upset; it makes me a little mad.

For example:

"What do you MEAN you DON'T LIKE guacamole? Who doesn't like guacamole????"

Ever happen to you?

No? Just me?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

am i wrong to be THIS pissed off?

Every third Tuesday I have a 6:30pm appointment with J to have my eyebrows waxed. It's a long-standing appointment that I have booked until the middle of 2010.

(Don't judge me. I'm not as high-maintenance as I sound.)

Tonight I show up for my appointment, only to practically wake the receptionist up.

She took one look at me and I knew I was in trouble.

KK: "Hi, I'm KK. I have a 6:30 appointment with J."


Nothing good ever comes after "uh oh".

RECEPTIONIST: "J's not here. Didn't she call you? She said she left you a message. It was really slow today so she went home. She said she'd accommodate your reschedule."

Well, isn't THAT nice of her.

Let me premise this by saying I didn't have a great end-of-day at work. So I was already on edge a bit, and a tad upset.

Now, that being said, WTF?

RECEPTIONIST: "Didn't you get her message?"

Um, obviously not if I'm standing here, keeping you awake.

KK: "The last message I got was less than 24 hours ago when you called confirming my appointment. She must've left it on my home phone. But since I was at work all day – and came straight here – I wouldn't have gotten that message."

RECEPTIONIST: "I'm really sorry. When would you like to reschedule for? She'll see you any time."

Well, that's really nice of her to 'see me any time'. The time I'd prefer for her to see me is when I have a freaking appointment!

I live an hour for work, so to make a 6:30 appointment, I have to leave work early at 5:30pm (even though that's technically the end of the day, it's still early at my place). Not only that, but I canceled a client meeting to be here. Not to mention the fact that if I ever canceled the day of an appointment and didn't give 24 hours notice, I'd be charged. Because of the inconvenience.

What about MY inconvenience??? Is MY time not as valuable as hers?

KK: (loud, annoyed sigh) "I'll come Saturday morning. What time does she have?"

RECEPTIONIST: "Anytime you want! She's off tomorrow but is here Thursday..."

KK: "Listen. I work an hour away from here. I come straight here from my desk, which is why I didn't get her message today. I have to rearrange my schedule to be here, which is what I did today. I'm not going to do that again this week. Saturday morning. Please."

I mean, I have every right to be mad, right? I get that business is slow during some days, but you can't just go home! You have appointments – MINE! I'm a paying client!

Do I say something when I go on Saturday??? I'm sure she'll apologize. But do I have to be careful what I say to someone who is taking hot wax to my face???

been caught sneakin'

I had a few minutes to spare on my way back to work during my lunch break (which I spent at Homegoods, searching for a new comforter) so I pulled into the plaza that now houses my most favorite store: the Marshall's Shoe & Accessories store.

Oh yes, it's true.

There's an ENTIRE Marshall's store dedicated to shoes, handbags and sunglasses.

It's awesome.

The parking lot is a zoo, but I manage to find a spot pretty far away.

As I'm walking toward the store, I run into two coworkers.

CW: "Hey, kk! Are you here for work or pleasure?"


Oh. Wait.

I look and see the Barnes and Noble bags in their hands.


KK: "I'm here for work, too. Totally."

Work shoes, that is.

Monday, October 19, 2009

it's an award! for little old moi!

I am the happy recipient of the "Sugar Doll" award, thanks to Little Ms Blogger! If you don't know her blog, check it out. She's warm and witty, and she's my inspiration to keep on blogging so I can one day have as many loyal followers as she does!

The rules for the Sugar Doll Award are that I must list 10 interesting things about myself.

This is probably going to resemble all of those times I think I'm REALLY REALLY funny, but Mr. KK or my friends just give me that weird "I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about" face. Or the courtesy laugh.

Nothing worse than the courtesy laugh.

So here goes...

1. Vito is my first real pet. Before him, when I was 8 years old, my grandmother brought me a dog that we had for 3 weeks. In that time, he managed to chew through our basement sheet rock, eat my mother's drapes and pee a river in the kitchen every night.

2. I have a scary good memory. There are times when someone will ask me something, and even though I know the answer - down to every detail of the conversation, what the weather was like, and even what I was wearing - I'll say I don't know, just so I don't scare them and come off as some creepy stalker.

3. Even though I seem like I'm all talk, deep down I KNOW I will write a novel someday.

4. I talk to myself all the time. I have entire conversations while I'm driving. I talk both sides of an argument, and I often win.

5. If I could keep only one pair of shoes, it would be my broken-in Michael Kors silver gladiator sandals from 2 summers ago.

6. Some people are slightly intimidated/afraid of me at work. And I like it.

7. Bad grammar and spelling make me twitch.

8. My favorite condiment is sour cream. It's SO versatile. (And I've been known to lick the spoon.)

9. When in a restaurant, I usually order what I think I should order, not what I really want to order. Then I make Mr. KK get what I really wanted so I can eat it vicariously through him.

10. I don't think Brad Pitt is hot. There. I said it.

Welcome to the crazy world of kk!

Thanks, LMB!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

is it wrong that i'm getting so much satisfaction out of this?

Saturday morning I was up and at 'em early to drive up to Boston to go wedding dress shopping with my friend Leroy*.

It's about a 2 hour drive from my house. I've made this drive so many times my car pretty much drives itself as I continue to amaze myself by guessing the cities and mileage on highway signs (which I memorized long ago. it doesn't take much to amuse myself)

Just as I was crossing into Massachusetts, a black beemer with Connecticut plates, who was driving ON TOP OF ME, whips into the left lane and blows by me going 90.

After giving him the finger (ever the lady), I watch him become a speck on the highway up ahead.

About 40 miles later, traffic slows as we pass a state trooper on the side of the road, lights flashing, having pulled over – you guessed it – my friend in the beemer.

LOVE it.

Sometimes life is awesome like that.

*Not her real name. But do we sing "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown" to her? Every chance we get.
*And Leroy got her dress! BEAUTIFUL!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

fun in the north east

Word on the street (read: every radio station and weather channel) says we're getting a Nor'easter this weekend, starting today.

For those of you who don't live in the North East (Nor'east), there are two different types of Nor'easters:

1. below 32 degrees: this Nor'easter brings wind that burns your face, feet of snow, five foot snow drifts, back-breaking shoveling, and a day off from work.

2. above 32 degrees: this Nor'easter (the kind we'll be experiencing) brings howling winds, sideways rain, leaf tornadoes, clogged gutters and flooded basements.

I'll be breaking out my bright orange wellies tonight – and keeping my fingers crossed that my basement makes it through the next 4 days dry!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Irony is funny

Not "funny ha-ha", but more like "funny i-want-to-cry".

I would say, that I've had to work every holiday weekend this year: President's Day, Good Friday, Memorial Day, 4th of July...without fail right before the holiday rolled around, we'd get a big project from a client; or worse, a new business pitch.

And, if I may be blunt, it was getting pretty old. Almost comical. The team would be here at work (and none too happy about it, I might add), while all of our coworkers' Facebook statuses would read things like "Woo hoo! Loving this long weekend!" and "Family party and then to the beach for fireworks!" and "Having so much more fun than those suckers stuck at work!" (okay, maybe I made that last one up).

I think the company realized that certain people were always stuck working on the holidays, so they gave the entire company Columbus Day off as a "thank you" for working.

So basically, 75% of the company got the day off for doing nothing.

But hey, I'm not bitter. I was getting a day off.

To make up for the days off I missed, which included: wine parties, family picnics, out-of-town guests, Palm Sunday dinner, my father-in-law's birthday and dinner with friends.

But I did get a whole day off to make up for it.

A day, when everyone else in my life was working.

A day, to spend alone.

But, being the only-child-super-independent woman that I am, I embraced the fact that I would have a whole day to myself.

I declared it "Closet Switcheroo Day!", which is a fancy way of saying that I was going to replace all of my summer clothes with my winter clothes, which involves lifting heavy boxes up and down 2 flights of stairs, being depressed at things that no longer fit me, and making large piles of clothing to be dropped off at – itch itch – Goodwill.

So the big day arrived – Columbus Day – and guess what? I had to work.

Yep. I had to work on the holiday that they gave us off because we worked too many holidays.

(insert head-shaking and irony-is-crazy musings here)

The good news, was that I got to work from home (my choice), so that I could concentrate on writing. This also allowed me to take half hour breaks every once in a while, to lug boxes, empty hangers and feel faint from the smell of mothballs. (We have a built in cedar closet that we didn't discover until AFTER buying the house. It has proved to be very handy.)

So, after a very long day of writing and switching, my closet is complete.

And after doing some inventory, I've concluded that if someone were to judge me by my closet, they'd think I was some beatnik/depressed/New Yorker, because of the abundance of black clothing that I own.

For example:

Number of black pants: 4
Number of black skirts: 5
Number of black dresses: 3
Number of black sweaters: 4
Number of black shirts/top: 17
Number of black pairs of shoes: 8
Number of black pairs of boots: 5
Number of black jackets: 5

And that's just black-black clothes. That doesn't include anything in the black-grey or charcoal family.

I wear color. I swear.

Today I am wearing a charcoal tweed belted shirt dress, black sweater and...TURQUOISE shoes.

(My undergarments? Guilty. They're black.)

Monday, October 12, 2009

chore whorin'

This past Saturday was the first weekend day I had in a LOOONG time that we didn't have any plans. So, that meant a full day of chores and errands! (insert crowd cheering here)

First on my list was to get myself and Mr. KK some sort of Halloween costume. I had landing on the two of us being Popeye and Olive Oyl, thought that would be cute and rather non-invasive. The pieces were on my list of thing to get on Saturday. Easy, right?

Famous last words.

My Saturday looked something like this:

Pick up Mr. KK's dry cleaning.

The shoemaker.

Dropped off my favorite boots to the shoemaker so they could (once again!) put new heel covers on them. This helps prevent me from making little round dents in our hardwood floors, thus preventing Mr. KK from frowning at me.

SHOE MAKER: "They'll be ready Thursday."
KK: "Okay. Please be careful with them. They're my favorites."
SHOE MAKER: "They'll be good as new and ready for another 10,000 miles."

I hope so.

Make deposit at bank.

I was feeling lazy so I used the drive up teller. I have as much success at the drive-up teller than I do at the drive-up ATM. Meaning, I have to put the car in park, undo my seatbelt, and lean halfway out the window to reach the damn thing. Pretty much defeats the purpose of staying in the car.


Could there be a worse place on earth?

This visit was two-fold. First, I dropped off a bag of Mr. KK's clothes to the super-nice (not) people who work in the back. (I thought I hated MY job? These people put me to shame).

Then, I perused the racks in search of costume parts. The plan was to find blue pants and a black shirt for Mr. KK, and glue on yellow felt buttons and sew on a red collar. For me, I was going to wear a long black skirt, sew a white scalloped collar on a red top.

After a few minutes of searching (and feeling dirty and itchy) I gave up.

Number of costumer parts bought: 0


I told myself I was looking for costume parts, but what I really wanted to do was check out a pair of black riding boots I had seen online.

One pair of boots, one winter coat, one dress and one top later, I was out the door.

Number of costume parts bought: 0


I needed to get some picture frames so we could hang some stuff around out house. I'm tired of all the bare walls, and it looking like we have no family or friends to hang pictures of.

Holy cow, how the hell did I just spend $72 on frames???

Number of costume parts bought: 0

Party City

Back on the costume hunt. I see they have pre-made Popeye and Olive Oyl costumes, but it hardly seems worth it to spend $80 on ill-fitting costumes. I'm going to make my own, dammit! I search the accessories area. At least I can get Mr. KK's sailor hat and pipe.

Would you believe that the only hat they're sold out of if the sailor hat??? Is EVERYONE being Popeye (or Gilligan) this year? WTF?

I decide to ask the (underqualified) workers for help.

KK: "Hi. You seem to be out of sailor hats out here. Do you have any more in the back?"
WORKER: "Sale hats?"
KK: "Sailor hats."
WORKER: "Jail hats?"
KK: "SAILOR hats!"
WORKER: "I'll come look out there." (annoyed that I'm yelling. But, really? Come on.)

Apparently her eyes are better than mine, because I've searched the entire area.

She comes out and starts looking through all the hats. She picks up a camouflaged dessert hat.

WORKER: "This is all we have."
KK: "That's an army hat." (Um, hello?)

She picks up another hat.

WORKER: "Here it is."
KK: "That's a skipper hat."

WORKER: "How about this one?"
KK: "That's a captain's hat."

Are we going to be here all day playing this game? There are LOTS of hats.

WORKER: "I guess we're out."

Really? Thanks.

Number of costume parts bought: 1 – corn cob pipe. (So now Mr. KK can either be Popeye or Frosty the Snowman)

TJ Maxx

Maybe a pair of blue pants for Mr. KK? Black skirt for me?

Number of costume parts bought: 0

Old Navy

How could Old Navy NOT have a black T-shirt or polo shirt for Mr. KK. Oh, they do! And they're all smalls! Awesome!

Number of costume parts bought: 0

I'm tired and cranky at this point. And starving. I call Mr. KK.

KK: "I'm not having any luck."
MR. KK: "You sound weird."
KK: "I'm frustrated. And hungry." And when I'm hungry, I get mean. (Loveable, but mean)
MR. KK: "Oh, I could tell."
KK: "I'm stopping in one more place then I'm bringing lunch home for us."

Joann Fabrics

Even if I don't have the clothing, I could get the stuff I need to sew onto it, right?

I stare at all of the lace, collars and felt. It will take me forever to sew this shit on.

I purchase a wig and long black gloves.

New direction: we're going to be a flapper and gangster.

Now where can I find a zoot suit???

Thursday, October 8, 2009

KK's fall favorites

It's finally Fall!

I think I love living in Connecticut so much because autumn is such an awesome time of year – you can see it on the changing trees and smell it in the morning air. And best of all? You get a whole new closet full of clothes to stand in front of every morning, deciding what to wear!

(Hey, who doesn't do that???)

Here are some of my faves:

The military jacket. It's awesome in any color (charcoal and navy are cool too!), and is so versatile, you could wear it every day. Looks perfect with jeans and flats, and adds an edge over a silk dress.

The sweater coat. Now, the sweater coat comes back EVERY year, and they call it different things (I distinctly remember the year they called it a "duster"). This year, it's the cardi-coat (which I don't love). But the best part is they are adorned with fun details, like toggles. Am loving this cable-knit number, which will look fantastic over leggings.

There couldn't be a more comfortable shirt than the peasant top. And they come in all these beautiful prints, in rich jewel tones. They just scream jeans and heels.

These boots were made for buyin'. Oh, how I love these cowgirl boots. They go with EVERYTHING – jeans, cords and dresses. These are the Frye Carson pull on – and they're soon to be mine!

Tissue tees. They're everywhere, and can go under everything. Wear it under a blazer with jeans, layered under a sweater, or paired with a feminine skirt. J. Crew has a ton of them, in great colors and designs.

A girl can never have too many boots! I'll also be stocking my closet with the classic riding boot. Flat, with buckle detail, this is the perfect boot into which you can tuck your jeans or leggings.

I've been into messenger bags lately, mainly because they make shopping so much easier. You don't have to deal with handbag straps falling off your shoulder or weighing you down. You've got all your goods with you, but two free hands to grab stuff off the racks. Perfect!

Can't forget those nails! Fall means moving away from bright and citrus shades, and into deep and dark colors. A love this neutral from OPI – You Don't Know Jacques! It goes with everything. It takes a day to get used to on your hands, but is the perfect grey/taupe for the fall months.

(I also would love the job of the person who gets to name nail polishes and lip glosses.)


You ever want to share a story on your blog about someone, but you can't remember if you ever told that person you had a blog (and gave them the website), or if they even read it?

Yeah, me too.

(oh, to tell or not to tell...)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

this made me miss Dr. Sausage

We once again have voices coming from our TV.

A while ago, we first heard Dr. Sausage, making pornographic comments that would filter through our cable TV. It was almost as if our digital cable signal got crossed with someone's CB radio.

Well, the voices are back. And they're putting Dr. Sausage to shame.

Some snippets from tonight's porn talk:

"I'm wearing women's panties."

"Are you wearing your sister's clothes?"

"I'm wearing black lace panties and a strap-on dildo."

"I'll meet you behind the dumpster. I'll be wearing lace panties and a black ski mask."

Monday, October 5, 2009

and this is why we hate men

Well, I've been doing the 30-Day Dread for a week. So, realistically, I should have done the workout 7 times (including today). That's if I did it every day. But I couldn't, so I did it for 5 days, which (for me) is still pretty impressive.

And I've been very strict with my eating, even on the weekend.

So have I noticed a drastic change? No. But I do feel better, and possibly my jeans fit a TAD looser.

Mr. KK, on the other hand, who is NOT doing the Dread, but instead doing his own workout stuff, plus eating better like I am, has had to tighten his belt a notch!


AND, he's dropped like 8 pounds or something.

It's just. not. fair.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit!

Happy October 1!

Do any of you say "Rabbit" on the first day of the month? I've been doing it since I was in grade school. My best friend's mother told us about it one summer vacation, how when you say "Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit" on the first day of the new month – before you speak a word! – you'll have good luck all month long. I said mine after my alarm went off this morning, after mentally saying "Crap".

So to celebrate the official start of October, I have:

• dug out 3 pairs of boots from the cedar was only 45 degrees this morning!

• switched from my spring/summer to my fall/winter perfume

• had my nails done in a fun fall wine-y/purple-y shade (Footloose by Essie)

Happy Fall, all!

PS: Have done 3 days of the 30-day Dread. It's gotten a teensy bit easier, but not much. I took today off (even though I don't think you're allowed a break!) to walk on the treadmill. Back into it tomorrow morning!