So, if you find my metabolism, can you please return it to me? I haven’t had it for a few years, and I’m really starting to miss it.
I’m not quite sure exactly what it looks like, but it’s VERY talented.
Here’s what it knows how to do:
- Allows me to eat fast food for lunch and have a flat stomach by dinner
- Keeps up its half of the bargain when I skip workouts
- Laughs in the face of midnight Macaroni & Cheese
- Concedes to pasta three times a week, extra mayo on sandwiches and nightly dessert
- Ensures my “fat jeans” stay just that
I mean, who wants a closet filled with just “jeans”?