Book Snob

DILEMMA: I need some new books to read.

I'd love nothing more than to stop at Barnes and Noble on the way home.

But I can't.

PROBLEM: I cannot control myself in a bookstore. I walk in the door and it's like a gravity pull to the "New Paperbacks" table. I arrive empty handed and I leave with 11 books and a lighter wallet.

I have the same issue with Target. "I'm just running in for some moisturizer!" turns into "That'll be $101.53, please." And it's not MY fault. I had no idea until I got into Target that I also needed three birthday cards, lipgloss, a picture frame, an under-the-bed-lucite-storage-bin-thingie, two t-shirts, a baby gift, a 10-pack of Big Red, dishwasher detergent, a dog toy, Tostitos and a DVD.

Not only do I have nothing to read right now, I also need AT LEAST three books for my Vegas trip (that's one LONG flight).

Not only do I spend lots of money in book stores, I also spend WAY too much time. (We're talking HOURS here. And that doesn't include my time in line, running out of line at the last minute to grab one last book, waiting in line again, being seduced out of line by the Bargain Books, then hopping back in line again.)

And I'm pretty superficial, I definitely judge a book by its cover. A confusing/busy/ugly cover means two things: 1. you didn't care enough about your book to make it LOOK interesting 2. I'm not reading it. (Sorry.)

Once a book passes my first test and moves onto the second round (actually being picked up), I read the first page. If you have me hooked, then I'll take you home.

That's where it all goes downhill. I find 3, 5, 7 books that I really, really, really want to read.

Here's where my book snootiness comes into play.

If I REALLY wanted to try and save some money (hey, these are tough economic times!), I would drive my ass over to the (rather large) public library near my house and borrow books to read.
(this would require me getting a library card to this specific library, as I am yet to visit it in the 3 years that I've lived in my town)

But I won't.

Because those books aren't new. They don't have uncreased spines, bright pages and new-book smell (they have some other smells, though, like mildew and remnants of the last borrower's curry dinner).

I'm getting a book someone else read. Someone else dropped on the dirty train floor. Someone else sneezed on.

Plus, everyone knows a library gets like ONE copy of a book. And mama doesn't like having to WAIT for her books.

I think I'm really left with only one option.

(Most Likely Next Post Title: "Why I Can't Pay The Oil Bill This Month")