Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Book Snob

DILEMMA: I need some new books to read.

I'd love nothing more than to stop at Barnes and Noble on the way home.

But I can't.

PROBLEM: I cannot control myself in a bookstore. I walk in the door and it's like a gravity pull to the "New Paperbacks" table. I arrive empty handed and I leave with 11 books and a lighter wallet.

I have the same issue with Target. "I'm just running in for some moisturizer!" turns into "That'll be $101.53, please." And it's not MY fault. I had no idea until I got into Target that I also needed three birthday cards, lipgloss, a picture frame, an under-the-bed-lucite-storage-bin-thingie, two t-shirts, a baby gift, a 10-pack of Big Red, dishwasher detergent, a dog toy, Tostitos and a DVD.

Not only do I have nothing to read right now, I also need AT LEAST three books for my Vegas trip (that's one LONG flight).

Not only do I spend lots of money in book stores, I also spend WAY too much time. (We're talking HOURS here. And that doesn't include my time in line, running out of line at the last minute to grab one last book, waiting in line again, being seduced out of line by the Bargain Books, then hopping back in line again.)

And I'm pretty superficial, I definitely judge a book by its cover. A confusing/busy/ugly cover means two things: 1. you didn't care enough about your book to make it LOOK interesting 2. I'm not reading it. (Sorry.)

Once a book passes my first test and moves onto the second round (actually being picked up), I read the first page. If you have me hooked, then I'll take you home.

That's where it all goes downhill. I find 3, 5, 7 books that I really, really, really want to read.

Here's where my book snootiness comes into play.

If I REALLY wanted to try and save some money (hey, these are tough economic times!), I would drive my ass over to the (rather large) public library near my house and borrow books to read.
(this would require me getting a library card to this specific library, as I am yet to visit it in the 3 years that I've lived in my town)

But I won't.

Because those books aren't new. They don't have uncreased spines, bright pages and new-book smell (they have some other smells, though, like mildew and remnants of the last borrower's curry dinner).

I'm getting a book someone else read. Someone else dropped on the dirty train floor. Someone else sneezed on.

Plus, everyone knows a library gets like ONE copy of a book. And mama doesn't like having to WAIT for her books.

I think I'm really left with only one option.

(Most Likely Next Post Title: "Why I Can't Pay The Oil Bill This Month")

8 comments:

Tasha K. said...

Your blog cracks me up so I linked it from my blog (hope you don't mind).

Anyway,I'm a book snob too! And I'm way too OCD to check out a library book... people have probably read that library book in the bathroom... ewww.

There is a great website for finding new books to read called www.goodreads.com where you can rate books and see what your friends are reading or have previously read. I'm hooked on this site now.

Happy reading!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Here's a blog that I frequent...she posts lists of books you may be interested in http://conversationsfamouswriters.blogspot.com/

I'm like you. I spend far too much in B&N and also buy based upon the cover. However, B&N is now off limits while I'm unemployed. Very sad.

I borrowed some books from the perfect person, my sister. She skims books and they are barely broken in. I've borrowed 2 books written by Hollis Gillespie (Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch and Confessions of a Recovering Slut). Apparently they are supposed to be very funny, but I am working on some Jane Green novels at the moment.

Swishy said...

Oh, I am naughty, naughty, naughty at bookstores and Target!

I read London is the Best City in America recently and LOVED it. I also just started The Late Bloomer's Revolution ... I'm only a chapter in, but so far, so good! It's really cute so far.

Sarah Elizabeth said...

I'm a chick-lit kind of girl. So... I like books from (of course) Jen Lancaster, Sophie Kinsella, Lauren Weisberger...etc.

I recently bought Chelsea Handler's book "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea" I haven't started reading it, but I have heard great things about it. I'll review it soon on my page. She is just too funny - I can't imagine her book not being equally hilarious.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

oh my gosh - if you and I ever went into Target together - we'd do some serious economic damage!

this is what my bestie and I do: we each read chick lit books like maniacs and then swap them. that way we're at least cutting our book addictions by half.

And - I'd be happy to send you a TON of my books that I've already read. I've got loads of them.

I'll go home tonight and get some titles online and send some off to you if you like.

kk said...

I am a HUGE chick lit fan (no educational reading for me!). I welcome ALL book recommendations!

thank you!

The Sorority said...

KK - am a big fan of Emily Giffin as well as all of the other authors that the girls have shared with you. I can't control myself in a good bookstore also and there is nothing I would rather do than sit and read in the sunshine while Juan or Bob or Tom fetches my drink of choice. Get the books - you don't need oil yet as it is still summer!! :)

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Here are the titles I have:

Then We Came To An End
Hide & Seek
Friendship Test
Testing Kate
Queen of Babble
When I'm Not Myself
odd Mom Out
Adultery Club
Second Language
Next Thing On My List
Icing On The Cake
I'm Not The New Me

Let me know if any of these interest you and I can send you a care package before your trip to Vegas!

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