After a hellishly busy workweek, which included going into work on the weekend, I found it hard to tear my mind away from anything but my place of employment when I finally got a chance to write a post.
I've worked in many places, and I’ve met many different types of people, but there are always those few personalities that appear no matter where you spend your days:
Egregious Employee: The Golden Child
This person can do no wrong. The Golden Child has climbed the corporate ladder so fast their feet barely touched the rungs. Chances are, they’ve stepped on and pissed off people along the way. They’re more artificial than the plants in the boardroom…don’t trust them for a minute.
Can Often Be Found: Kissing Senior Management’s Ass
Egregious Employee: The Gossiper
The Gossiper puts Perez Hilton to shame. Her eyes and ears are always open, hoping for new dirt for the rumor mill. She feigns friendliness in an effort to get the inside scoop on fellow coworkers. Oftentimes you’ll find out new juicy tidbits about YOURSELF from her.
Can Often Be Found: Whispering in the hallways
Egregious Employee: The Mood Swinger
Hot? Cold? Grouchy? Accommodating? It’s hard to gauge the mood you’re going to get from The Mood Swinger. One day, this person is your best friend, the next day, they start a week-long hiatus from acknowledging your existence.
Can Often Be Found: Flying off the handle
Egregious Employee: The Workhorse
The Workhorse works around the clock. And without saying a word, they almost make you feel guilty that you take a weekend off to enjoy yourself. It’s very possible they sleep with their computer.
Can Often Be Found: Sending emails at 3am.
Egregious Employee: The Cheerleader
This annoying person epitomizes the term “team player”. The first to volunteer for group activities, The Cheerleader will shove their “rah rah” attitude down your throat. Company outing? After-work happy hour? Department layoffs? The Cheerleader will be there, decked out in the company’s colors, boosting morale.
Can Often Be Found: Memorizing the company handbook.
You're really in trouble when your workplace encompasses all five of these people at once!
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7 comments:
I am LMAO right now. Right before your last line I thought, "My! *name here* is all of these at once!"...so I guess my work place DOES encompass all these personalities all at once...in ONE person!!! Guess that is better than separately - I only have one person to look out for...except she does not gossip.
You are too funny.
OMG...I laughed at your entry because it is so true. I have to admit, I wish I was employed, but really hate office politics.
Working from home was a great buffer, but you still never escaped the personalities you've described.
HAHA! I can't attest to them all, because currently it is only my two bosses and I that are working in the office. They both fall under the Workhorse category.
For me, I'm the blog-reading slacker I guess.
Ha Ha! There are 4 of the 5 at my office. There is no gossiper (which is kind of sad because that one sounds like the most fun of the 5 office personalities)! Great post. So true.
My new office has 2 if not 3 of those but at least none of them are in my division.
Great post - totally laughed out loud!
Shit.
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