Tuesday, September 25, 2007

MISSING: My Metabolism

My “fat jeans” are now just “jeans”. They fit. Comfortably.

So, if you find my metabolism, can you please return it to me? I haven’t had it for a few years, and I’m really starting to miss it.

I’m not quite sure exactly what it looks like, but it’s VERY talented.

Here’s what it knows how to do:
  • Allows me to eat fast food for lunch and have a flat stomach by dinner
  • Keeps up its half of the bargain when I skip workouts
  • Laughs in the face of midnight Macaroni & Cheese
  • Concedes to pasta three times a week, extra mayo on sandwiches and nightly dessert
  • Ensures my “fat jeans” stay just that
If you happen to come across it, please let me know.

I mean, who wants a closet filled with just “jeans”?

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