Friday, January 4, 2008

Who’s Looking For A Little Extra Money?

Because I am willing to PAY someone to come in and take down the Christmas decorations and clean up.

I’m talking everything: the tree, the lights, the snowmen. And not only take them down, but wrap them nicely, pack them in boxes and store them in the basement. And then clean the house, so that I’m not finding tree needles until mid-July (which is what usually happens).

Anyone free tomorrow? Because as of right now, it looks like my weekend plans involve a very dry, prickly tree, lots of tissue paper and the Dyson.

Admittedly, I am a little HM when it comes to decorating the house.

First off, I’m of the “less is more” school of thought. Putting up 150 snowmen instead of a modest 6 does not mean you have more Christmas spirit. (It just means you have more snowmen, and a very cluttered house).

Also, my decorations sort of have a “theme”. Like, most of my Christmas decorations are silver reindeer – silver reindeer stocking holders on the mantel, silver reindeer centerpiece on the dining room table (his antlers hold like 8 tea lights – it’s SO cute!) and silver reindeer figures throughout the bookcases. (Hand-painted ceramic Santas need not apply)

And this year – in an ultimate HM, crazy person move – I color-coordinated the tree decorations to match the living room.
(Hey, red would have looked silly in the chocolate and blue living room. And no, I did NOT go as far as to match the wrapping paper to the tree. Well, not all of it, anyway.)

As for the outside of the house, our neighborhood sort of bullies you into decorating. Unless you’re lighting a menorah, you’d better have white candles in your windows. Because if you don’t, you’ll be the only house on the block without them. (Insert disapproving looks from the neighbors here)

Sadly, the minute Christmas is over, I don’t want to look at the Christmas decorations anymore. I want to wake up on December 26 to find that they have miraculously disappeared.

I don’t want to fight with the tree bag (it’s a 4-week-old dead tree, how will the branches NOT poke thought that super-thin plastic bag?).

I don’t want to sweep up broken ornament glass (you know it’s going to happen).

I don’t want to wrap everything, pack it away (with 100 trips down to the basement!) and then walk into the dining room only to see a lonely, glittery silver tree on top of the china cabinet, mocking me.

So…any takers?

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