one down, a million to go

Sometimes I like to flatter myself by thinking that when I disappear from my blog for a while, there are those of you out there that miss me. Ponder where I am. Wonder if I fell into a ditch.

If I wrote about everything that's been going on and keeping me away from my blog, it would take me until next Thursday. Then I'd miss Labor Day weekend, hurricane Earl and a fun weekend of putting in a new kitchen floor. (You should be wishing I would take a video of me and Mr. KK putting in a new floor. It would be an instant YouTube classic).

The big news is: I made my first placement at my job. That means I have earned money to get my very first commission check. Just think: I only have to place a million more candidates to be at the salary I earned at my last crazy job. But between you, me, the wall and the information highway, I'll take better hours, no stress and work-free weekends over a fat paycheck any day of the week and twice on Sunday. I don't even have my work email on my phone yet. Ignorance truly IS bliss.

I'm also a little crazed because not only are we renovating a house to move INTO, but we're also sprucing up a house to move OUT OF. That includes, but is not limited to:

• Painting the exterior of the house. We hired people for this. In the process, I got myself a stalker. A painter stalker, who accused me of calling him repeatedly and having a boat. He actually said to me: "Yes! You have a boat!" Seriously? I think I would know if I owned a marine vehicle.

• Updating the kitchen. This means kk painting all of the cabinets, and Mr. kk ripping up the shitty linoleum floor. And we found hardwood floors underneath! And they couldn't be refinished! So now we're back to putting down an ugly-ass floor again!

• Making the upstairs linen closet "presentable". 

Mr KK: "See how good this looks? Why wasn't this closet like this the whole time we lived here?" 

KK: "Bite me."

• Emptying and removing Mr. KK's armoire of clothes. And then putting his clothes in MY closet. And putting MY clothes in cardboard, portable "closets", because his clothes are too long to fit.

• Cleaning out the basement so it "looks bigger". It's a basement. There's supposed to be spiders and dirt and crap you don't use.

This is the last weekend of doing work before putting the house on the market.

Everyone please bury a St. Joseph statue in your yard and pray for a quick sell.