Raise your hand if you've ever quietly tip-toed up to someone's front porch, rang their door bell, then run like hell behind the nearest bush/tree/car.
Raise your hand if you're 2 rather strong beers in while writing this blog post.
Still only me?
I remember being in grade school, sixth grade, to be exact. I was at my BFF's house on Doorbell Night. A few months earlier, at the end of summer, a new family had moved in next door to her. They had a daughter who was a year older than we were, in her first year of junior high. So when she came outside on Halloween Eve to find us jumping in a pile of freshly raked leaves (could we have been more lame????) and asked us if we wanted to ring doorbells with her, we were like "Heck, yeah!" (again, totally lame)
Our first target? My BFF's neighbor, who were a couple in their eighties. Wrong target? Yes. Did we care? No. We had a SEVENTH GRADER hanging out with us. What we didn't know was that in 4 years this seventh grader would be expelled for doing drugs during study hall. While we earned all A's in AP math.
The future Courtney Love dared us, and who could say no to a dare? So my BFF and I ran up to their lit doorstep, rang the doorbell, then high-tailed it behind the nearest tree.
And then we heard it.
A frail, little voice, calling out in the darkness, "Hello? Who's there? Hello?"
When she was safely inside, we regrouped behind the big oak.
"Do it again," Courtney Love urged us. "One more time."
Like Kurt Cobain, we couldn't say no to Courtney.
Once again we snuck up to the doorstep, pressed on the bell BZZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZZT!
And there she was, in her pink bathrobe, calling out the screen door. "Whoever this is, can you please stop ringing our bell? It's late. I'm going to turn off the lights now. This isn't funny."
I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I imagined my grandparents getting pranked on Doorbell Night, and I wanted to strangle their pranksters. I looked over at the future drug addict's wild mane of red hair, and I wanted to strangle her too. Why couldn't she leave us alone? Jumping in our pile of leaves.
I whispered to my BFF "LET'S GO", knowing her mother would have hot chocolate and mini marshmallows waiting for us.
We ran inside, unzipped our Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bags, and played with My Little Pony, while Courtney Love snuck cigarettes on the back porch.