Is spam getting smarter?

I don't trust anyone. It's awful. If a stranger on the street says 'hello', I immediately assume they're going to abduct me, steal my identity or ask me for money.

This impeccable judgement of mine was clouded when I received an email about my blog. It was very professional and well-written (no ridiculous grammar or punctuation), addressed to me, and even name-checked the title of a recent blog post in the body of the email. They said all the right things, like that I had a great writing style, and my blog was witty (flattery, btw, will get you everywhere).

The email was about the "gifted web writers" association. And they wanted to pay me to write! To a girl who hates her job and would give her left breast to write for a living, It was like a dream come true! I could write in my own voice, about product and other fun stuff.

"Click on it!" my work-hating, dreamy side of my brain urged.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" my realistic half answered.

Instead of clicking, I googled them, and a website came up. I clicked on the Google link and up came a semi-respectable looking page, that was, of course, "under construction". Clicking on the "contact us" buttom brought me to another page. With a name and address.

In israel.

Anyone else ever get something like this???

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patrick swayze, this one's for you

Unless you live under a rock or in the 1800s, you remember the pottery wheel scene in the movie Ghost, when a young Demi Moore (who totally rocked the short-hair look, btw) couldn't sleep, so she was up crafting something on her pottery wheel (I mean, who hasn't?). And then, Patrick Swayze appears, sits his pretty ass down behind her, and they start molding clay together (wink, wink – if you catch my drift).

So, that's totally going to me this weekend.

Minus the clay-molding part.

Minus getting dirty.

Minus Patrick Swayze.

But if you add in my mother, my mother-in-law, a bottle of wine and a "paint your own pottery" day of fun, then my Saturday and that box office hit are pretty much interchangeable.

Both mothers spent their time growing up taking ceramics classes. And boy do we have the tchotchkes to prove it! Lighted ceramic trees at Christmas time, painted bunnies missing an ear for Easter, and even our baby banks that they're holding on to "just in case" (does a hand-painted baby bank's value increase with age? Because if so, these things are going to be worth a fortune!)

So as a Mother's Day gift this past May (yes, 6 months ago) I presented both Moms with a faux gift certificate for a day of painting pottery with Yours Truly. And this Saturday, we are cashing that in.

The place is in a nearby town and pretty cool, you can bring food and – most importantly – wine. Because everyone knows you paint WAY better with a buzz.

So warm up the wheel and dust off the paint brushes, KK's going to paint the town red.

Well, sort of.

it's like secretly eating in your car, only worse

I'm having a really bad day.

So bad, that I can't wait to get into my car to go home so I can cry.

PS: I'll also be taking my tear-streaked face into a gas station to play the lottery tonight.
PPS: I believe that after winning my resignation letter will read something like, "I fucking quit."
PPS: If I don't get to post again today, please accept this god-awful post as my NaBlo for the day.

Vacationing is for the dogs

Vito in the car on the way TO Boston...


Vito in the car on the way HOME from Boston:

Day 8 of NaBlo: home sweet home

(First off, I'm posting while watching The Amazing Race, and I have to say, the dudes have to stop crying like little bitches)

We had a great weekend in Boston! The weather couldn't have been better – sunny and cool, but warm enough to walk around the city I love so much.

We must've walked a zillion miles, eaten a trillion calories and saw a million rats. Yes, rats. Last night when we were walking Vito on the Common, he was this close to catching one. That's all I needed, an emergency trip to the vet hospital. We narrowly escaped one rat, when we were leaving and ran into two more, just hanging out not two feet away under a bush. And the rats in Boston? Are the size of squirrels.

It was our first time taking Vito to a hotel. And I have to say, next time he's staying home. It's not that he misbehaved, but we just felt so guilty every time we left the room. We'd have to run down the hall and hideout, listening, before we got on the elevator. We'd hear Vito cry and scratch at the door, then start howling and asking, "Where aaaaaare you guys? Come baaaaaack!" It was heartbreaking.

The good news was that we had a room at the end of the hall, away from every other room on the floor. The bad news was that we were near the ice machine, and for some reason – both nights – someone felt the need to fill their ice bucket at 2:38am. Which of course triggered Vito to bark. Which of course woke me up. Which of course called for me begging and pleading with Vito – and offering him everything from a Tbone to an hour-long walk the next day – to stop barking.

I was hoping to find more gems shopping, but only ended up with a dress from H&M. I was too lazy to try it on, so hopefully if fits. Usually everything from H&M runs small on me, mostly because their clothes are made to fit pre-pubescent Swedes. It's a great dress, though, so my fingers are crossed.

I've got more laundry to do than Kate Gosselin's nanny, and a crazy week coming up.

But I'm happy to say that even while on vacation, I didn't break NaBloPoMo even once.

I'm totally dedicated to you guys.

Oh, Boston, you've done it again

In just 36 hours you've managed to steal my heart and enable me to eat foods that would make Jillian Michaels cringe.

Today we mixed it up and went bowling with our parents. I managed to be the second highest scorer (behind Mr. KK of course), so obviously everyone played like shit.

We're getting ready for a champagne toast, then it's off to dinner in the North End.

Diet - I'll see YOU on Monday!

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It's never too early for a martini

We are celebrating with drinks and hot nuts (actual nuts like almonds and cashews...get your minds out of the gutter, people!) on Day 1 of our Boston weekend.

Next up, taking Vito for a walk on the common and meeting the girls for drinks!

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