My Mother, Traffic Reporter

Tuesday night, 6:15

I'm sitting at my desk at work. My phone rings. Caller ID warns me it's my mother.

Me: "Hi, Mom."

Mom: "Oh, hi. Do you have Caller ID? Is that how you knew it was me?"

My mother is fascinated by Caller ID.

Mom: "Well, anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you there's a really bad accident near your work on one of the side roads near the highway. Traffic is really backed up."

Me: "Oh, thanks. Which side road?"

Mom: "I can't remember."

Me: "Well, which highway is it near? I-95 or the Parkway?"

Mom: "Umm..."

Me: "Well, which exit number is closed?"

Mom: "I can't remember now."

Me: "Okay. Well, thanks for the update."

NOTE TO MOM: Please don't quit your day job. I do not see traffic reporting in your future.