Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Get out of Jail Free card

When you reach a certain age – let's say 75 – all rules that apply to general society seem to go out the window.

For example:

This morning I had to go for blood work. I arrived before the place opened in hopes of being first so I could head off to work. It's tricky, because lots of old people need blood work, and lots of old people get up while it's still dark out. So it's almost a race to see who could get there first.

Today, I won.

So I'm waiting for the door to be unlocked and an elderly gentleman arrives and stands next to me to wait.

All of a sudden, old man rivers starts farting like it's his JOB, shifting his weight from side to side to make for easier gas escape. He makes a meager attempt to cover his actions up with a cough and a loud sigh, but he'd need more like a fog horn to mask the action going on below his belt.

The best part? He didn't even acknowledge it. No "Excuse me" or anything.

Me? I don't even like to SNEEZE in public.

Do we reach a point in our lives, when we feel that we don't owe anything to anyone, and we just don't care anymore? Because that sounds like a great way to be.

Think of the elderly – they think nothing of speaking their mind, owning the road and expecting everyone to give them respect – because they've earned it.

Perhaps we could all learn a lesson here, and live like the elderly.

That being said, I must go and start preparing dinner. It's almost 4pm.


4 comments:

irrefutably erin. said...

Your post is hilarious and I think you are right. once you reach a certain age, most anything goes! Women don't care about their weight as much, it's accepted that Grandma's over 75 are fat.

I hope to never get to that point, ever. But may have no control since it might be a mental thing... in other words you mind leaves you and you have no choice but to fart in public as a commonplace event.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Imagine me. A father who is 78 and does exactly that type of stuff.

It bothers me to NO END.

Actually, what bothers me is old people forget about people who work - they show up at doctor's offices without appointments and make a fuss to be seen; expect you to arrange YOUR schedule to them (yes, this has happened to me one too many times, but have wised up) AND refuse to wear their hearing aid and expect you to scream and have the t.v. up to the highest possible level.

With that said, I do think the elderly deserve respect b/c they have paid their dues. However, sometimes, you still want to just smack them.

merelyme said...

I think young people who are odd just grow up to be old and odd!

Be thankful he wasn't shakin it free by waving his leg around (true story)!

wv - flers

Jules said...

Having been up since 5:30, waiting for the CBS Morning Show to start, I whole-heartedly agree. I cannot wait to get to the age where I can say whatever pops into my head and garner nothing more than a simple, "aww, cute little thing!" just like I did when I was 2. We just cycle right back to a happy, napping, farting, slurping world. A well-earned reward for minding manners for the 75 years in between, in my opinion!
Funny post!

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