Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Is giving the finger considered a command?

I like to think I'm a law-abiding citizen. I pay my (ridiculously over-priced) taxes. I clear the sidewalk in front of my house of snow for the mailman. And when I'm driving, I only use my cell phone when I'm 'hands-free'.

In fact, if I see you driving and either: a) holding your phone to your ear b) holding your phone and yelling into it while it's on speaker or c) texting, there's a pretty good chance I'm screaming obscenities at you. Especially if you're driving like an asshat.

So in my plight to always be hands-free while behind the wheel, I tried to use the voice-activated dialing on my phone. Look at me! Setting an example for thousands of law breakers!

The other morning I'm driving into work and I thought I'd check in with my dad. I click the little button on the side of the phone.

"Say a command." the nice female automated voice says. We'll call her Lana.

ME: "Call Mom and Dad."

(pause)

LANA: "Say a command."

ME: "CALL MOM AND DAD!" (screaming. Like an idiot)

LANA: "Did you say, 'Call Jen Smith?"

ME: "NO."

LANA: "Did you say, 'Call Boss At Home'?"

What??

ME: "NO! NO I DIDN'T!"

LANA: "Calling Boss At Home."

ME: "NO! UNDO! CANCEL! DON'T CALL! STOP CALLING!!!"

LANA: "Say a command."

ME: "Lana what are you thinking???"

LANA: "Calling Paul's Pizza."



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1 comment:

Unknown said...

LMAO...I so love this post and you said asshat!!!