Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Vet = nightmare

This is how Friday's vet visit went down.

6am-3:39pm: freak out about giving Vito his pre-vet tranquilizer.

3:40pm: administer tranquilizer. this is done by masking the little peach pill in a piece of yummy provolone. Vito doesn't even chew.

3:41pm: Vito and I stare at each other.

3:42pm: ((blink))

3:45pm: Vito gets tired of our staring contest and retreats to the couch. I follow, afraid he's going to fall out of his window seat.

3:52pm: Vito closes his eyes and I have a mini heart-attack. I place my hand on his soft white chest fur; his little heart is beating a million miles a minute. He opens an eye and gives me a look that says, 'Seriously, mom?'

4:15pm: Vito hears a noise outside and starts barking his head off. Tranquilizer has not yet kicked in.

4:21pm: I leash Vito up for our big adventure.

4:22pm: it starts pouring. Of course it does.

4:34pm: We are three minutes from the vet's office and Vito starts howling and squealing. He knows where we're going and the tranquilizer is yet to start working.

4:38pm: last minute poop on the vet's lawn while being pelted by rain. Make that TWO poops.

4:40pm: the receptionist recognizes my little monster and makes a quiet call to the back.

4:41pm: we're brought to Room 2. Vito hides under the bench. He's so nervous he's leaving little sweaty paw prints on the floor.

4:43pm: a vet assistant visits with the Hannibal Lector muzzle. She takes Vito in the back.

4:45pm: guttural crying from the back.

4:47pm: they must be shoving bamboo shoots under his fingernails.

4:49pm: silence! Oh no wait, he was taking a breath.

5:11pm. The vet brings Vito out. He had his shots and has a nice manicure. He has also pooped himself, as usual.

5:12pm: "I'm sorry. I gave him the tranquilizer, but I don't think it worked." I apologize. "no worries," the vet says, "the tranquilizer took the edge off for him."

That was the tranquilizer working???

5:34pm: bath time for Vito!

6:14pm: the tranquilizer kicks in, and we have one very stoned doggie.






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