Monday, July 20, 2009

Niemans Shmiemans

I was shunned by Nieman Marcus, and I didn't like it.

Not one bit.

Is THIS what it's like to be treated like a second class citizen???

While in Chicago (glorious city! LOVED it! Can't wait to go back and not spend 10 hours a day in a windowless conference room in need of an afghan), two coworkers and I snuck out one afternoon to do a little shopping.

It was designer sale time in all of the biggies (Nordstroms, Saks, Niemans) and we were hungry for deals.

First stop: Nieman Marcus.

I've never been to a Neimans before. Macy's, Nordstrom's, Lord & Taylor – I've spend my time in those stores. But never Niemans.

And let me tell you about the SHOES on those sale racks! Prada! Chanel! Choo! I swear I saw the EXACT Manolos that Carrie Bradshaw bought for her big "good-bye" date with Big – the ones she was wearing when Miranda's water broke all over them.

And even though these shoes were on crazy sale, they were still $300, $400 and even $700 a pair. I mean, I love shoes, but I also love to eat. Splurging on shoes and eating canned beans won't cut it for me.

But I did find a very nice pair of Tory Burch gladiator flats (with the cutout signature TB on the front) in a great citrusy orange color. They were beautiful.

I handed them to the (uber stuffy) salesman (I'm sure at Neimans they're not called 'salesman'. It's probably something silly like 'guest service associate' or something ridiculous).

Stuffy McStuffington take the shoes from me (after giving me – and my white jeans and Old Navy sweater – a blatant and distasteful once-over) and asks, "American Express or your Nieman's charge?"

To which I reply (rather hoitily): "Neither."

SMS raises one perfectly-manicured eyebrow and asks, "Oh? Cash, then?"

ME: "Still no."

SMS rolls his eyes and sighs QUITE AUDIBLY and says, "Personal check?" with such a look of horror on his face that I may attempt to use a method of payment that is SO last decade. You might have thought I was going to offer to pay him in cockroaches or dusty sheep.

ME: "I don't have my checkbook."

SMS: "I don't understand."

Really? It seem quite clear. I don't have any of the forms of payment you have mentioned thusfar.

ME: "Visa? MasterCard?"

SMS, that look of disgust back again: "Oh, no. We only accept Neimans and Amex."

And with that, he slid my Tory Burches off the counter and sauntered into the stock room – which I'm sure at Niemans is called a "Supplementary Shoe Solarium".

8 comments:

Kayla said...

Wow, I'll have to remember never go go to Niemans then! Who doesn't accept Visa?!?! That's just crazy!

Stereos and Souffles said...

It is bizarre and annoying that they don't take all forms of payment, especially because they'll accept anything on their website. I never understood it. I have forgotten from time to time and had to find the nearest ATM.

Le Chiquest said...

hi. just randomly ran into your blog and i think you are hilarious! i am so adding you to my list of "cool peeps"! keep blogging funny one!

edder said...

Ughff. If anyone deserved a wheelbarrow full of pennies, it would be Needless Markup.

Poor you.

Cyn said...

HMmmm. How RUDE!! Be like Vivian in Pretty Woman and take your money elsewhere.

Life, Love And Lola said...

That dude would have gotten a Tory Burch upside the head if it were me.

siovhan said...

I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
Because I've had this same experience at Neiman Marcus. And Guess what?! He probably doesn't shop their either--he just works there! Bah.

The Sorority said...

I had this experience at Needless and I can't believe that they still do this! Every other damn store that used to just take their own proprietory credit cards now take Visa, MC and/or AMEX. But not good, old stuffy Neimans. I may window shop in NM but my heart belongs to Nordstroms. Better service, great selection and they take all kinds of credit cards!

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