book review: 'it sucked and then i cried' by heather b. armstrong

full title: 'it sucked and then i cried: how i had a baby, a breakdown, and a much needed margarita'

In a word: hilarious.

Now, I'm not a mother, and this book made me laugh out loud. Heather's a great story-teller (she has an uber-popular blog dooce.com) and you feel like you're right there with her...from the delivery room to the mental ward.

It's a sweet story that is REAL, yo. Some scary "holy poop is THAT what it's like???" moments.

Makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you want to double-up on birth control.

check it out!

Dear birds,

Shut the eff up.

Incessant chirping at 5am?

On a SUNDAY?

I mean, really.

Exhausted,
kk

sleeping with my mother

Last weekend I made a road trip to Northern Massachusetts for my friend Leroy's bridal shower. In tow with me were my mother and my mother-in-law. The three of us stayed together in one hotel room, because it seemed silly to get 2 rooms when we'd be so busy that we'd only use the hotel for sleeping.

Obviously, I slept with my mother (as it seemed odd to sleep with my mother-in-law, and ever weirder for MY mother to sleep with her). Before embarking on our trip I warned my mother: "MIL snores, just so you know."

"Please. I'm used to your father every night. It will be fine."

Ah, famous last words.

Now, I love my mother-in-law to death. But boy, could that woman saw wood!

My mother and I were able to get about 1.5 hours of sleep in the entire night.

After catching up on email from my phone, counting sheep and making mental lists of things I have to do in the next 5 years, I couldn't take it any longer.

KK: "Psst! Are you awake?"
MOM: "Yes, I'm awake."
KK: "I TOLD you she snored."
MOM: "No you didn't."
KK: "Yes I did. I said, 'MIL snores, just so you know.'"
MOM: "THIS isn't snoring. This is amazing."

five minutes later...

KK: "Hey."
MOM: "Shh!"
KK: "Shh? What? Am I going to wake you?"

seven minutes later...

MOM: "I should've brought my little blue pills."
KK: "There aren't enough blue pills in the world."

twenty minutes later:

KK: "Should I wear my hair up or down?"

twenty seven minutes later:

((Mom gets up and nudges MIL, and ends up scaring the crap out of her. MIL jumps up and yells "What?!"))

one hour later:

((KK giggling))

one hour and ten minutes later:

MOM: "Will you shut up?"
KK (still giggling): "Are you talking to ME?"

two hours later:

KK: "I'm going to be SO tired tomorrow."
MOM: "Try and go to sleep."
KK: "Oh! Good idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

three hours later:

KK: "Hey! The sun's coming up!"

three and a half hours later:

(MIL stops snoring for 20 minutes. I'm too stressed with the pressure of trying to fall asleep that I'm even more awake than I was before. Can't. keep. eyes. closed. Wait. I'm almost there. Yes! I feel sleep within my reach! Just give me five...more...minutes...SNORE! Dammit!)

five and half hours later:

(alarm goes off)

MIL: "Wow. I slept great!"

seriously

is there anything worse, than those paper gowns, with the opening in the front?

ugh.

pretty to look at...

photo from simply recipes

...and delicious to eat!

they are delicious in the spring, either when eaten alone, in a salad or as a side dish.

check out simply recipes for a bunch of yummy ways to cook them!

GORGEOUS!

I would very much like one of these Swarovski Nirvana Flash rings, pretty please.

Or maybe even one for each finger!

from the mouths of babes

setting: Mother's Day brunch, my house

My grandmother sees my cousin's 3 1/2 year old daughter reaching for a glass of champagne, so she tells her great granddaughter: "That's not for you to touch."

The little one stops, turns to my grandmother and says, "Nana, you just worry about yourself."

speak your mind much?

I just finished listening to the woman across the hall from me rip the car dealership a new asshole. She was relentless. And scary.

(Part of me is like "go on with your bad self!" and part of me is rethinking if I've ever pissed her off...)

This past weekend Mr. KK and I were having "date night" out at a little bistro near our house. We were seated by the door – which was open – because there were diners outside and it was easier for the waitstaff to bring food in and out. However, Connecticut encountered 40 mph winds on Saturday night, and there were huge gusts of wind ripping through the restaurant. Finally, I asked if they could shut the door because we were shivering. They were totally fine with it and moved us to a new (warmer) table.

If it were up to Mr. KK, we would have sat there eating dinner with our coats on. But I just couldn't stand it any longer. We were PAYING to be there and we were uncomfortable.

What about you guys? Do you speak up when customer service is bad/something is bothering you?

the end of an era

In May of 1997, I bought my very first car: a green 2-door Toyota RAV 4. Sure, I had had other cars before, but this was the very first car I bought on my own.

The day my father and I went to pick it up, it was pouring rain. "It means 'good luck'," the salesman told us. What else would he tell us?

My new car had a CD player (oh yeah, I sprung for extras), and I had brought my Hootie and The Blowfish CD to make sure it worked.

Soon after purchasing the car, I moved up to Boston. And boy, was my little green RAV the perfect size for fitting into tight on-street parking spaces! She was mostly driven to and from Connecticut, but I loved her just the same. Double payments enabled me to pay her off early (because for some reason when I was single and going out of every night and making no money I had more money than I do now). And I truly OWNED her. ME. Not the bank.

A few more moves around Boston, and then finally a final move back to Connecticut. She was getting on in years, and my long commute didn't seem like a good fit for her. So Mr. KK drove her to his job 1.5 miles away (jealous!).

Then, Mr. KK's dad got a new pick-up truck, and gave Mr. KK his old one.

Now we had 3 cars, and only 2 drivers.

So the little RAV would sit in the driveway – undriven – while we drove the other 2 cars.

But it seemed silly to pay the insurance on all 3 cars. And when we mentioned to the mechanic we might think about selling her, he said his cousin was looking for a car for his daughter.

And then everything was moving so fast. And I was traveling a lot.

And then one night, while I was on a plane home from Detroit or Minneapolis or Chicago, Mr. KK took one last ride in the RAV before handing her off to her new owners.

And it ripped my heart out.

Mama will miss you.

movin' on up!

guess who's moving?

(three guesses and your first 2 don't count...)

this MAY have something to do with my last post about our stupid neighbors, but it also have more to do with keeping Mr. KK's late grandmother's house in the family, and reducing our mortgage a bit while we're at it.

so the plan is to buy his grandmother's house that needs A LOT of work. we're thinking we'll try and sell our house and move in the fall sometime.

all of this work with the new house includes giving me my dream kitchen (finally!) and a nice open layout that's perfect for entertaining.

the downside is that i'm really going to miss our current house (neighbors aside). i LOVE our house because it's old and has charm and glass doorknobs and built-ins and wide moldings and a perfect yard.

but, it's time to move on. it's in the next town over where we grew up with cheaper taxes, a smaller mortgage and 1.7 acres of land.

and while i promise not to turn this blog into a satellite HGTV site, I will keep you all posted with before and after pictures and all that good stuff.

i feel i'm about to embark on a journey that will make me intimately involved in tile, cabinetry and paint chips. and i can't wait.

i get the first swing with the sledgehammer!

it's no secret...

...that we hate our neighbors.

And last night, they gave us one more reason to want to pack up our house and get the hell out of dodge.

Current reasons we can't stand our neighbors:

1. They park their big-ass white mini van in front of our house ALL THE TIME. They apparently forget that they have a LONG driveway they could use, or a perfectly fine curb in front of their own house. And they apparently forget how to park, too, because they leave their stupid car right smack dab in the MIDDLE of the area, making it impossible for any other car to park in front of our house. You know, like mine?

2. They're loud. They scream all. the. time. They scream at each other, they scream at their kids. They scream at their parents. They never shut up.

3. It seems that neither of them work. Now while there's nothing wrong with that, I just don't understand how they survive without jobs.

4. They're both home all (see #3) and yet they still get Peapod grocery delivery (which parks and blocks our driveway) and they have a woman and daughter team that come in to help with cleaning and child care. They're home ALL DAY. They can't clean their own house and watch their own kids???

5. They have too many kids.

6. Their kids torment Vito every chance they get. Through the fence. Through our glass front door. One day they're going to be sticking their little fingers through the fence poking him and he's NOT going to be nice about it...

7. They're snoops. She constantly keeps tabs on our yard. He watches us from an upstairs window when we're enjoying cocktails outside by the fire.

8. When he uses the snow blower on his driveway (which is only 1 out of 4 storms to begin with), he blows the snow onto OUR driveway, and all over the side of his own house.

9. He's a whiner. She's annoying.

And our new reason for disliking them:

10. She got a pet Guinea pig. That she carries around like a baby. (I'm sorry, I love Vito like a human, but he's a dog. Guinea pigs are rodents.) She cuts grass with scissors for him to eat. She brought him outside to meet us – seriously – and just kept covering his face and body with kisses. Then she'd yell "Ouch!" when he bit her with his little rodent teeth. Did I mention that he runs around in the house and on the furniture, leaving little rodent droppings?

I was thisclose to telling her that Vito had killed a rodent once...

spring! you finally made it! i've been waiting for you...

Some of my springtime favorites:

It's still a wee bit chilly in the morning...good to have a light scarf for warmth and a pop of color (Old Navy)
My go-to spring outfit: denim skirt (Banana Republic) and a white T-shirt (flip flops optional)


Every shoe whore needs a few pairs of shoes to start the season...sexy go-with-everything heels (Calvin Klein from Piperlime) and colorful flats (Steve Madden from DSW)


And don't forget the nails! This color looks scary in the bottle, but SO COOL on. I got so many complements. It just takes a little while to get used to! (Sally Hansen at Target).

Happy Spring Shopping!

texts from today

kk: my boss asked me to help out on a project for breast cancer. do you think it's because i'm the only female creative director?

mr. kk: it's because you're the BEST creative director.

kk: you're sweet. but i'm pretty sure it's because i'm the only one with a pair of slut jugs.

Dear Mall Of America,

I sort of made fun of you, saying things like "the mall can't be THAT big" and "it's just a mall".

Touché.

You really ARE that big.

And while I was on a business trip and didn't really get to experience you the way I normally would have, I did have fun running around and riding roller coasters and marveling at your size.

I can now cross "visit ridiculously large mall that would take a week to shop" off my bucket list.

Hugs,
kk

PS: you really did yourselves in hiring that guy who works at that MagicQuest place. He seriously thinks he's a jester. It's kinda creepy. He LOVES his job. In a way, I'm jealous of his zeal. (but not his ridiculous hat).