sleeping with my mother

Last weekend I made a road trip to Northern Massachusetts for my friend Leroy's bridal shower. In tow with me were my mother and my mother-in-law. The three of us stayed together in one hotel room, because it seemed silly to get 2 rooms when we'd be so busy that we'd only use the hotel for sleeping.

Obviously, I slept with my mother (as it seemed odd to sleep with my mother-in-law, and ever weirder for MY mother to sleep with her). Before embarking on our trip I warned my mother: "MIL snores, just so you know."

"Please. I'm used to your father every night. It will be fine."

Ah, famous last words.

Now, I love my mother-in-law to death. But boy, could that woman saw wood!

My mother and I were able to get about 1.5 hours of sleep in the entire night.

After catching up on email from my phone, counting sheep and making mental lists of things I have to do in the next 5 years, I couldn't take it any longer.

KK: "Psst! Are you awake?"
MOM: "Yes, I'm awake."
KK: "I TOLD you she snored."
MOM: "No you didn't."
KK: "Yes I did. I said, 'MIL snores, just so you know.'"
MOM: "THIS isn't snoring. This is amazing."

five minutes later...

KK: "Hey."
MOM: "Shh!"
KK: "Shh? What? Am I going to wake you?"

seven minutes later...

MOM: "I should've brought my little blue pills."
KK: "There aren't enough blue pills in the world."

twenty minutes later:

KK: "Should I wear my hair up or down?"

twenty seven minutes later:

((Mom gets up and nudges MIL, and ends up scaring the crap out of her. MIL jumps up and yells "What?!"))

one hour later:

((KK giggling))

one hour and ten minutes later:

MOM: "Will you shut up?"
KK (still giggling): "Are you talking to ME?"

two hours later:

KK: "I'm going to be SO tired tomorrow."
MOM: "Try and go to sleep."
KK: "Oh! Good idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

three hours later:

KK: "Hey! The sun's coming up!"

three and a half hours later:

(MIL stops snoring for 20 minutes. I'm too stressed with the pressure of trying to fall asleep that I'm even more awake than I was before. Can't. keep. eyes. closed. Wait. I'm almost there. Yes! I feel sleep within my reach! Just give me five...more...minutes...SNORE! Dammit!)

five and half hours later:

(alarm goes off)

MIL: "Wow. I slept great!"