pancakes, anyone?

Last night I went for my very first mammogram.

Boy, was that fun!

Not.

The girls haven't been man-handled like that since my junior high boyfriend got curious.

But I thought I should go, just to have a baseline done. So I have stuff to compare it to later. Especially since both my mother and my grandmother had breast cancer. And the fact that I had cancer makes me think I'm an easy target (even though there's not really any medical evidence of that).

No results yet.

Just flattened boobs.

Can someone pass the syrup?

(PS: this is my 400th post!)

feeling twitty

We have these Lunch and Learn programs at work every so often. People in the company will lure fellow coworkers to their presentations by dangling free (and rather untasty) lunch in their faces.

Lots of companies do this. I know Mr. KK's does; he'll spend lunches learning about steel vs. concrete, and load-bearing walls.

My company's Lunch and Learns are a little different.

Today's was about Twitter.

What I learned today:

• it's called Twitter but your posts are called Tweets
• there are 50 million tweets EVERY DAY
• it's a new language filled with @ and # and _
• Twitter is taking over the world
• I'm afraid of Twitter

It took me forever to cave and join Facebook.

Twitter scares the crap out of me. It feels like a socially-acceptable means of stalking.

I am officially NOT on Twitter...

Are you on Twitter? What do you tweet about?

I think I grew up in the wrong decade

A few weeks ago while I was home recuperating (after I agreed to adding all the fun movie channels to our cable system) I came across this movie on TV:


I LOVED this movie. I wanted to LIVE this movie.

Do you remember it?

I think I watched this movie every day my entire Freshman year of high school. I had it memorized.

Not only did I love the dancing and the music, but the whole idea of a girls' getaway made me smile. But it makes me laugh to think of this movie being filmed now, and how different it would be.

Instead of driving the Myrtle Beach, the four 18-year-old friends would be packing their Louis Vuitton bags and jetting off to Cabo or Miami. Instead of entering a Shag contest they'd be getting drunk on the beach and entering wet T-shirt contests. Instead of hanging out at a drive-up milkshake and burger joint, they'd be sipping $15 martinis, nibbling on designer sushi and bumping and grinding with strangers to Kesha. And forget Bobby Valentine. They'd be on the hunt for Bradley Cooper.

But it would end the same: four girls clinging to each other before going their separate ways.

(BTW, could Phoebe Cates be any cuter in this movie???)

Dear Uncle Sam,

(For the record, the only reason I like Tax Day is because it's my birthday.)

Ah, tax time.

Just when I expected an ass-raping from you last night, you turn on the charm for what ends up being a romantic evening resulting in a nice monetary return. And you even threw in some cuddling.

You can totally call me next week.

Hugs,
kk

Life lessons

Despite not winning any money at the casino, I had a great weekend with friends.

And the old saying "You can learn stuff anywhere" is true. (And by "old saying" I mean that I just made it up).

A few eye-openers for me this weekend:

• I can no longer down a greasy cheeseburger and fries at 2am and wake up unscathed

• If you're going to lose your shirt, be sure to wear your best bra (at least one that's not all stretched out)

• You are never too young to start having "senior moments"

• While my 90-year-old grandfather comes off as a crusty old coot to his family, the people he lives with in senior housing have a completely different view of him

• No matter how badly you think you look, there's always someone nearby who looks a zillion times worse

• People-watching should be an Olympic Sport (I'm pretty sure I could bring home the Gold for that one)

• Speaking of Olympic Sports...curling? Really?

• "Date Night" isn't as much fun with Mr. KK's third-wheel coworker

• Guinness is not my thing

• I'm not as mean as I think I am, since I never opened the hotel room door and screamed bloody murder at the imbeciles across the hall WHO NEVER WENT TO SLEEP and instead yelled and slammed doors until we had to get up at 8am

• Some jokes – especially inside ones with good friends – never, ever get old

Hello, weekend of vices!

The last few weeks have been relatively quiet (surgery, minor dabbling in narcotics and flooded basement aside).

And this weekend we're making up for it! We've got a jam-packed two days coming up, filled with vices galore. In fact, all seven of them.

See here:

1. Pride or Vanity Tomorrow, we are headed to the casino to meet up with our Boston friends. I will spend much time contemplating my appearance (heels or flat boots? clutch or messenger bag? smokey eye or neutral lip?) so that I look just so.

2. Greed I better win at said casino. And when I win, I will want to win more.

3. Lust I'm getting all turned-on and sweaty just thinking about the Hot and Dirty Martini that awaits me. Hello, lovah.

4. Wrath or anger I will be pissed if I don't win any money.

5. Gluttony Tonight Mr. KK and I have a date with some very yummy gourmet burgers and microbrews.

6. Envy or jealousy My grandfather's 90th birthday surprise party is on Sunday. I could only WISH to live that long.

7. Sloth or laziness Once 6pm Sunday night rolls, you can find me in jammies, under a blanket, snuggling with Vito on the couch.

Oh Friday, what too you so long!

Is God testing me?

Monday: flooded basement

Tuesday: snow storm

Wednesday: locusts?