Admonished Over Avocados

Saturday, 4:43pm
At the ghetto Stop & Shop

As much as I hate this store, it’s the closest one to my house. And every time I go there, I swear I’m never going back. Especially after The Chicken Breast Debacle Of '08.

I was running in to grab some limes, when the HUGE pile of avocados caught my eye. I’m a sucker for guacamole, so I grab some cilantro and a tomato and make my way over.

I’m standing there, molesting every avocado on the shelf, when a (weird) woman saddles up next to me. She’s dressed in all black and means business. She starts squeezing, too.

I don’t know what it is about me, but I can’t NOT talk to strangers.

ME (laughing): “Wow, these avocados are HARD. Can’t find a squishy one in the bunch!”

WOMAN (with a slight, indiscernible accent, and an ‘I’m an older and more experienced shopper, dear, let me bestow upon you my grocery shopping wisdom tone’): “These days, so many of our fruits and vegetables are picked before they are ripe and shipped to the stores,” she glances at me down her long, witch-like nose, “So the fruits and vegetables from which we have to choose aren’t always the best. I guess we just need to live and deal with it.”

And with a snicker, she walks away.

Seriously?

I was reprimanded over fruit???

I am NEVER coming back here.