Poor Packing Job

Mark Twain wrote, "If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes."

And because of this, I was forced to do a very un-me packing job for my trip to Boston this past weekend.

Normally, I am an EXPERT packer. Once, I packed everything I needed for a week-long cruise (formal nights included!) in a carry-on suitcase.
(insert surprised-yet-impressed looks here)

KK’s Rule On Packing:

Pick a color theme and stick to it.

You should be able to mix and match your clothes throughout your entire trip. This also means limited accessories, 1 handbag and only 2 pairs of shoes (a difficult trade-off for me, who has over 100 pairs, all dying to be included).

THIS time, however, I had a bag bulging with stuff. You’d think I was heading on a world adventure instead of overnight at Mohegan Sun casino and two nights in Boston.

I had everything I needed.

Or so I thought.

WHAT I REALLY SHOULD HAVE PACKED THIS WEEKEND:

1. Earplugs. For when I woke up at 3:30am Friday morning to the sound of the people in the room next to us having sex. LOUDLY.
   
2. An Attitude Adjustment. For the beatnik loser who sat down at the poker table Friday morning. Now, it’s one thing to think you’re too cool for school (wearing your hippie glasses and playing $200 hands – on a $5 minimum table, btw). But you know what’s the complete opposite of cool? When you get yelled at by the pit boss to sit down. And to hold your cards over the table. And, eventually, how to play the game. I mean, really.
3. An Extra Stomach. (Oh, yes, perhaps the item I missed most on my trip.) One stomach to enjoy my delicious dinner Friday, then a second to swap in when stomach #1 gets sick all night from aforementioned fabulous meal. Did I mention being sick? At a hotel (read: not in my own bed and bathroom)? All night long? NOTE: the food that’s not the best to have eaten if you should become sick: BEETS.
4. An OFF Button. Guess who sat behind me at the Red Sox game? Mr. "I’ve Been There Done That Way Better And More Expensively Than Everyone Else On The Planet".
   Guess who didn’t shut up for three hours?
5. Decorum. To give to the lovebirds sitting in front of me in the grandstand. It’s great you guys have found each other (despite your ridiculous age difference). But in 90 degree weather? I’d love for you to NOT have your arm resting on my leg (you can remove your protective arm from her shoulders; those hot dog vendors are quite harmless). And I’d also love it if when she leaned forward, you didn’t stick your hand down her coin slot.

Weekend recap:

Amount of money I won at casino: negative dollars

Number of people in front of us to check in to the hotel in Boston: 35

Number of miles per hour I was able to drive home on the Mass Pike in the awful rain storm: 2 mph

Number of tiles on bathroom floor in Copley Hotel: 34 and a half