Dear Mother Nature,

What's up, Mom?

Listen, do you think you could turn your snow machine off for, like, 5 minutes?*

How the hell am I supposed to get ANY Christmas shopping done in this weather?

Have some pity, I'm not even halfway done with my shopping, and Christmas is 4 days away.

Let me repeat that: FOUR DAYS AWAY.

I hardly doubt my mother-in-law will show unbridled joy when she opens up a box of Moose Munch and NO OTHER GIFTS. And while I'm sure while my grandfather will smile when he unwraps his "Brainteasers" book, there's a good chance he'll pick up the bottom piece of tissue paper and LOOK FOR THE REST OF HIS GIFT.

If you could attend to this request now, that would be great.

Thanks, Mother.

And I promise recycle my wine bottles.

Hugs,

kk

*And that doesn't mean replacing it with your "wintry mix" machine either.