Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Thanks, Universe!

In a week when I'm bogged down with meetings, holiday parties and client dinners, Mother Nature has decided to give me a nice big (painful!) cold sore. Hey, nothing says "Happy Holidays!" like a big sore on your lip.

So, on top of my lip monster, I am still recuperating from my dental surgery, and can only eat foods that are: not hard, not crunchy, not spicy, not hot, not cold, not acidic, not lumpy, not too small, not too big, not any fun. I have a space between my teeth big enough to drive a truck through. I'm still nursing 5 stitches.

Who can't wait to spend a week being "on" with clients, schmoozing and not being able to eat any of the food offered, while offending people with my ugliness?

And who wore a super low-cut V-neck tight shirt today to keep people's eyes away from her mouth?

And in case the slut shirt didn't work, who sore a scuba-tight skirt with a slit up to her hoo-ha?

So not only will the clients not even realize that I have a cold sore, they'll also not realize that I have eyes, a nose or brown hair.

3 comments:

Little Ms Blogger said...

This sounds like a post written by herpes goldie locks...Sorry, I couldn't resist.

There is a bright to all this- the meds keep you off alcohol and the mouth keeps you tasting almost anything except Slimfast...just think, you may be the exception to the rule of people who gain weight during the holidays and lose those pounds you were dying to.

Bathwater said...

Sweet I for one can't wait to see you! I'll be the guy blowing you air kisses from across the room! :)

The Sorority said...

You had me at hoo ha!

But at least you can wash down your painkillers with wine - yes?

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