Tuesday, January 10, 2012

open letters.

dear naked ladies at the gym,

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, can you please put some clothes on?

Or at least get a bikini wax?

Grossed out,
kk

**********

dear dryer,

When I put my jeans in you last night, it was to fluff them. Not make them suitable for Selena Gomez.

Barely breathing,
kk

PS: bonus points that they were the only pants I had to stuff myself into at the gym today for work.

PPS: extra credit that I will be attending a client dinner tonight looking like a sausage.

**********

dear one-finger charlie,

Driving a pick-up truck doesn't give you free reign to pick-out stuff from your nose.

Also, you are breaking the 'hands-free' law.

I'm watching you,
kk

**********

dear winter,

If you're going to snow all over us, go ahead and do it already.

If not, please go back to the 60 degrees we had on Saturday.

Much appreciated,
kk

**********

dear zumba,

I'm sorry. I just don't get all your hoopla.

It's not like you invented dancing.

Not seeing it,
kk


2 comments:

elizabeth said...

I'm just waiting for Winter to take an enormous snow-dump on us and then laugh maniacally.

Witnessing other people's nudity is but one reason why I work out at home 99% of the time. I can wear my little shorts and I can watch what I want and I'm much more inclined to keep doing it, you know?

DNice said...

there is a website call Dear/Sincerely or something like that (i have it booked marked at work) and it is all peeps logging little letters. some are really fun. mine today would have been = "Dear Cab Driver Who Ran through the stop sign, You almost hit me.
Sincerely, My Horn Couldn't Get Any Louder

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