Today we're pretending we're 25 and going on a bar crawl!
This will either be super fun, or super disastrous.
Did I mention that we have to take a ferry to to get to the bar crawl? So in additional to consuming copious amounts of alcohol, we have to board a very large water vehicle.
Is it weird that this is only my second time on a ferry, but my 37th time on a bar crawl?
I didn't think so either!
And while a bar crawl is a twenty-something activity, I can't escape the fact that I'm a thirty-something.
I've already started to worry about what I'm going to drink. I know I have a long day ahead of me. So if I follow traditional bar crawl "rules", I should be ordering a drink at each bar. The safe way for me to go is beer, since history has proved that the progression from sober to sleeping is much slower and enjoyable to others. The downside: beer belly bloat. Blah!
Now, a second option is the hard stuff. I love me my martinis, but the last thing I want is to look like a Muffy*. And there isn't a 'mixed drink' that I like enough to drink all day. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure I should drink hard alcohol all day. Sure, I'm rather hilarious after 2, maybe 3, drinks, but you don't want to hang out with me after 4. Even Mr. KK might pretend he doesn't know who I am.
Then, there's the whole eating thing. Do I eat beforehand and provide a nice cushion for my drinks? Will I be too full? Do I have a light breakfast and then plan to eat mid-way through the crawl? Will that slow down my drinking? Will I get too drunk too fast? What if the places have shitty food? Then I'm wasting calories on food I don't even want to eat.
And we didn't even TALK about what I'm going to wear! Will I be cold on the ferry, but hot in the bars? Should I go casual, or wear heels because we're celebrating someone's birthday? Should I not wear my nice new wool coat, for fear of people spilling their drinks on me? Do I wear a hat? What if someone takes pictures? I don't want to be photographed with hat hair all day long.
If I think back to my 20s, and all the bar crawls we went on, I seem to remember just...going. We drank beer, because it was all we could afford. Did we eat? I can't remember. I'm sure we came home from the crawl and made a big pot of blue box macaroni and cheese, and ate the whole thing and didn't care or gain and ounce because our metabolism was friends with us. I doubt we wore jackets, even if it was 12 degrees. And it's very possible we got the call about the bar crawl only an hour before it started.
Seems when you get older, fun and spontaneity go right out the window.
Did I mention I have to run 2 miles today before we go?
*Muffy is a term my uncle uses to describe women who wear Chanel to a football game. Or who drink martinis on bar crawls.