Because apparently I look like a clown-faced hooker

I went to CVS during lunch today. I wanted to get a card for my doctor for my last appointment tomorrow. It sounds kind of cheesy, but she did so much for me, and after tomorrow, I'll probably (hopefully) never see her again.

I didn't see any cards that said "I'm going to miss being molested by you at my checkups...these were a great 5 years. Oh, and thanks for saving my life! Your BF, kk."

After going back and forth between a "Good-bye" card and a "Thank You" card, I settled on a very simple "Thank You" card that was blank inside.

(Also, I've already instructed Mr. KK that he is to take a photo of me and Dr. F, as well as one of me giving a big "see ya!" salute in front of Dana Farber Cancer Center.)

So after the card aisle, I start to wander around CVS a bit. Which in itself, could be deadly. It's near the top of my list of stores I can't spend under $10 in – second only to Target.

I beeline to the cosmetics section (where did you think I'd go? Vitamins?) and pick up a few new eye shadows, which are 'Buy 1, Get 1 Free'.

As I'm finishing checking out, the register makes that special "BEEP BEEP BEEP" sound it makes when you're about to receive ExtraCare Card coupons.

I LOVE coupons! I also LOVE to shop with coupons and leave them in my wallet and forget to use them.

CASHIER: "Oh, and here's a coupon for Revlon!"

ME: "Oh, great!"

CASHIER: "Yes, I can see you like wearing makeup, so this should come in handy."

Bitch.

Rant & Rave Wednesday, kk-style

Little Ms. Blogger posts "Rant and Rave Wednesdays" weekly, and I'm hopping on the R&R band wagon this week.

Here goes...

RAVE: You know what this Friday is? It's my 5-year appointment with my oncologist in Boston! Fingers-crossed for a clean bill of health!

RANT: Clients who think they're copywriters. Or art directors. Or both.

RAVE: Did I mention I'm going to Boston this weekend?

RANT: Traffic for no reason. Sunny, cloudless sky and no accidents should NOT equal an hour commute.

RAVE: We've had Halloween candy in the house for over a month, and I have managed to eat zero pieces of Halloween candy.

RANT: Driving home in the dark every night. I feel like I work the graveyard shift.

RAVE: Some of my pants are a WEE bit baggy on me. (I'm not getting too excited, I'm headed towards a weekend of eating my way through a city...)

RAVE: Yay, me! I'm 4 for 4 on NaBloPoMo!

RAVE: Had a lunchtime mani today.

RAVE: Did I mention I'm going to Boston this weekend? 36 hours shy of being cancer-free, kids!

Hey, this was fun! And I'm happy to see I have more Raves than Rants!

How far is "too far" when it comes to Facebook?

A "friend" of mine (I hesitate to use that word, as she was only a classmate and we haven't talked since 12th grade science class) just posted this status:

"I'm in love with my anesthesiologist! I hope the baby comes soon!"

TMI?

I think so.

cooking with kk – a new WWFS installment!

Now that I have to write 30 posts in 30 days, I was thinking of all the things that I could write about, and food kept coming to the top of the list (this could also be because I'm perpetually starving).

So I started thinking maybe I should keep a record of some of the stuff that I cook at night. And maybe post a new recipe each week?

Would you guys like to get new recipe ideas?

Here's last night's creation:


Shrimp with Roasted Poblano Sauce
Serves 2

Ingredients

For the shrimp:

16 large shrimp, cleaned, shelled and deveined
2 Tbsp. creole seasoning (or chili powder)
salt, pepper and garlic salt
1 Tbsp canola oil

Toss shrimp with oil and seasonings.

Heat saute pan over medium heat. Pour shrimp (and any excess oil in bowl) into pan. Cook on one side until pink, about 3-4 minutes. Turn shrimp once, and continue cooking on second side for 2 minutes. Turn heat off under pan.

For the Poblano Sauce (adopted from Bobby Flay's recipe)
2 poblano peppers, roasted, peeled, seeded and chopped
1/8 cup red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp chopped parsley
1 Tbsp honey
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 to 1/3 cup olive oil

Pulse all ingredients EXCEPT oil in a mini food processor or blender until smooth. While motor is running, slowly drizzle in olive oil until creamy.

Side dishes

I made 2 servings of brown rice and seasoned them with salt and pepper. I placed the brown rice in 2 dishes and topped with 8 shrimp each. Drizzle shrimp and rice with poblano sauce.

I also sauteed a bunch of asparagus (with the ends cut off) in 2 Tbsp. of olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic salt over medium to medium-high heat for about 10-15 minutes (depending on how al dente you like your veggies).

Enjoy!

I hope I do better at THIS 30-day committment (aka: NaBloPoMo)

About a month ago, I started Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred.

Here's the breakdown on the proposed/actual:

Proposed

Weight loss: up to 20 pounds
Duration: daily for 30 days
Results: shredded

Actual

Weight loss: 3 pounds (wtf???)
Duration: 4-5 times a week for 30 days
Results: dreaded

Okay, I wasn't faithful for 30 days...but add to that the fact that I've been practically starving myself (eating just enough to have the energy to do the stupid workout!). My daily menu consists of a bowl of Special K, a Lean Cuisine/Healthy Choice/salad with chicken for lunch, and protein plus 2 veggies for dinner.

Do I have to run out for new jeans in a smaller size?

No.

Do I want to break out my bikini and wear it around the house because I'm so proud of my rockin' body?

No.

Do I want to go and eat a tray of nachos?

Yes.

Thanksgiving FAIL

I judge holidays on the food that goes with them. For example, I was never really a big fan of Thanksgiving, mainly because I don't love turkey. I mean, I'll eat for that one day, but if I don't have it for another 364 days, I'm okay with that.

Christmas Eve, on other hand, is my favorite holiday. Being from an Italian family (and luckily having married into one), our Christmas Eve celebration begins at 6pm and is course after course of yummy fish (from shrimp cocktail to calamari salad, to spaghetti and crab sauce to baked stuffed shrimp) accompanied by lots of wine.

In hopes of starting a holiday tradition in the new house four years ago, we hosted Thanksgiving. I took it upon myself to make this holiday mean more than just turkey. Each year I spend weeks crafting my menu. The number of guests range anywhere from 14-18. Everyone has their usual duties: my mother-in-law makes the turkey, my mother makes her famous mashed potatoes, Mr. KK's aunt makes sweet potatoes. My job? Well, I'm in charge of the side dishes and the highly-anticipated first course.

It's with this first course that I can be creative and really showcase my inner Martha Stewart. For example, our first Thanksgiving I made pumpkin and black bean soup, and served them in hollowed-out gourds. (The presentation was phenomenal, but I think Mr. KK still suffers from carpal tunnel from scooping out gourd flesh in record time Thanksgiving morning)

The year after that, I made rigatoni with pumpkin sauce. And last year, I made butternut squash ravioli with a sage brown butter sauce.

So of course, everyone looks forward to see what the first course on Thanksgiving will be.

And being the over-achiever that I am, I have already started planning my menu. And I like to do a dry-run of the first course, usually because it's something I've never made before and I want to be sure it's going to live up to my previous first course standards.

So yesterday, I spent the afternoon whipping up sweet potato gnocchi (from scratch!) with a cinnamon maple butter sauce.

the gnocchi on my beautiful homemade pasta board!

Sounds delish, right?

Here's the finished product:


They look great, but even though I added more flour than the recipe called for, I knew the dough was off.

They tasted okay – not great – and definitely not "first course" material.

I'm so disappointed. Not only because I spent the entire day preparing them, but because I had such high hopes. They combined the perfect flavors to compliment Thanksgiving dinner.

So back to the drawing board...or should I say, pasta board?

(in case anyone's counting, this is Day 2 of NaBloPoMo...and I posted!)

Tricks, treats and a whole month of me

I love our house in the Fall.

Four years ago this weekend, we moved into our house. It was also the weekend that we discovered that our doorbell didn't work. But we never fixed it. We thought a broken doorbell would help alleviate some of the pain Vito associates with Halloween. Maybe he'd bark less if the little ghosts and goblins couldn't announce their arrival with a chiming bell.

Alas, we were wrong. Even without the doorbell, Vito knew someone (or a group of someones) was at our door, begging for candy. He would bark himself hoarse, throwing his little black body up against the glass french door, while I furiously threw candy into the open bags and pillowcases of half-petrified kids. Oh, it's quite a scene, let me tell you.

This year we were going out for Halloween – the first time in like 7 years. We were decked out in our 1920's best, and ready to ship Vito off to my parents' house for the night. They live on a dead end, and rarely get trick-or-treaters.

Even though I knew we were going out, I still made my little Halloween treat bags for the kiddies, in hopes that a few little monsters would come to our house before we had to go out. (We ended up leaving a lot earlier than I had hoped, so we are now left with over 100 treat bags filled with candy. Poor Mr. KK, he's doomed. He has ZERO will power when it comes to candy.)

The half hour we had trick or treaters was the strangest 30 minutes I've ever had on Halloween.

5:37pm

Ding dong!

What the?

The doorbell works again???

BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!

Standing on the doorstep is a little witch.

Vito is bouncing up and down, blocking the door to the foyer. The little witch watches as Vito and I begin a sort of comical dance as I try and maneuver myself through an opening so thin even Gumby would have difficulty. I have one hand on Vito's chest in an attempt to push him back so I can scoot into the foyer and get the door shut behind me. In the midst of his barking he almost takes off my hand. I'm bending over, and can feel a draft up the back of my flapper dress. I'm finally able to slam the door shut, and Vito's barking is ever-so muffled, but his little body on the glass door is loud as can be.

Little witch: "Trick or treat!" This girl's got some patience, as it's taken me 3 full minuted to move 2 feet and answer the door.

Vito serenades the scene from behind the french door.

KK: "Trick or treat!"

Little witch: "I like your dog."

KK: "Really? Do you want him?"

I drop a treat bag into her bag and she bounds off the steps.

I coerce Vito upstairs and put up a baby gate. Unfortunately this gives him a better view of the front door and neighborhood, but thankfully keeps him away from the door.

5:46pm

Ding dong!

BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!

A pre-teen boy is standing on the steps wearing his Little League uniform. I mean, really? That's his costume? Where's the originality?

Boy: "Trick or treat." Said with much less enthusiasm as my little witch.

KK: "Where's your bag?"

Boy: "Huh?"

KK: "Your bag. For your candy? Why don't you have one?"

Come on now. You're getting free candy all over the neighborhood. The least you can do is make a frickin' effort.

Boy: "I don't have one. You giving out candy?" He eyes me suspiciously, but keeps a cautious eye on the ferocious beast at the top of the stairs.

I HAND him a treat bag and he runs off the steps.

Seriously, where's he going to keep all of his candy???

5:52pm

Ding dong!

BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!

A woman dressed as a black cat is standing on our doorstep. I approach the door with the bowl of candy bags. I peek behind her to see if she's hiding a child somewhere. Do adults go trick or treating now?

CAT: "Hi. I don't need any candy. I'm your neighbor Sheila's niece. I was hoping we could borrow a corkscrew? I thought for sure you'd have one."

Well, if there's anything we have in this house (besides 118 candy treat bags) it's alcohol and all booze-related accessories.

Even though she promises to bring it right back, I refrain from giving her my favorite Rabbit wine opener. Instead, I give her a heavy-duty twisty one that we've never used.

Mr. KK (from upstairs): "Did you just give a child something from our bar?"

6:03pm

Ding dong!

BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK! BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!

The little witch is back on our doorstep.

I open the door and she hands me our corkscrew.


((get out the trumpets and start the fanfare...it's Day 1 of NaBloPoMo at 'will work for shoes'! I'm not sure I'm ready for this – hell, I'm not sure YOU'RE ready for this. I should have started with something easier, like NaShoBuMo "National Shoe Buying Month" or NaCoWhiMo "National Complaining and Whining Month". Fasten your seat belts...it's going to be a crazy month!))