There's Being Prepared, And Then There's This

Today a guy was walking his dog on the highway.

Well, to clarify, he wasn't actually walking his dog. It appeared he ran out of gas (my first clue: the red plastic gas container he was carrying) and didn’t want to leave his dog in the car, so he leashed up Fido to walk to the closest exit.

Now, I’ve never run out of gas (just one close call with my best friend in high school who would test how long she could drive on fumes). But, if I WERE to ever run out of gas (um, I wouldn't, but just go with it), I know for a fact that I would not have one of those red plastic gas containers. It seems to me, if you have one of those gas containers in your car, you:

A. Have run out of gas before, thus keeping the container in your car “just in case”.
(Question: why isn’t ‘Put gas in the car’ your “just in case” plan?)
B. Have a lawn mowing business

I didn’t see any lawnmowers or grass stains, so I’m guessing that it’s a common occurrence that this young man runs out of gas.

He is PREPARED to run out of gas. It’s like his car stalls on the highway and he’s all, “Hey, Fido, looks like we ran out of gas again. What are the chances? I’ll grab the container, you grab your leash.”

I’m all about being prepared for things, but it’s usually things over which you have no control. Such as, “Hey, I think I’ll bring my umbrella JUST IN CASE it rains.” Or “Let’s have extra food at the party JUST IN CASE a few extra people show up.” Never, not once, EVER have I said to myself, Vito, anyone, “Let’s pack a portable, plastic gas container in the trunk JUST IN CASE we want to ignore the little gas light or feel like driving by the gazillion gas stations around, and we run out of gas.”

That's what I'm thinking as this idiot walks towards me (he was smart enough to keep his pup on the inside of the highway, thankfully). I thought that was the worst part.

Wrong.

I finally drive by this dude’s car. The term “wreck” would be a compliment.

Let me tell you, he’s going to need to bring back more than some gas to get this car up and running. Perhaps on the way he could pick up:

• a new bumper
• a front headlight
• something to fix the side of the car that looks like it was attacked by a can-opener
• a front grill
• two hubcaps
• a new muffler
• an understanding that rust doesn’t count as paint

Or he could pick up a gas card.

Or new car.