Can You Hear Me Screaming?

Hey Everybody I Work With,

I'm making my NEW new year's resolution to not lose my shit all over your asses.

It would be in your best interests to NOT say any of these things to your copy department (aka, Yours Truly) today:

1. When I ask for feedback, please do NOT respond: "Be Clever!"
2. When I ask a question, please do NOT respond with: ((head nodding. vacant eyes))
3. When you're trying to compensate for your incompetence, please do NOT try to (miserably) get on my good side with : "I know it's frustrating."
   (Because really? You don't. You have NO idea how frustrating it is working with you.)
4. When you're being an asshat and trying to insert your two cents where there shouldn't be any change, please do NOT smile and say: "I don't think we're there yet."
5. When communicating a client's changes, please do NOT give the peptalk: "The changes are easy – just new copy!"

Coworkers: you are all on notice.