because I'm right...and everyone else is wrong

Dear Dental Insurance Customer Service Rep,

I'm pretty sure that answering the phones and tending to people's insurance questions is your JOB. So when I call with questions regarding my dental insurance, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't punctuate every.single.sentence. with a disgruntled *sigh* that has the capacity to wake a sleeping baby 5 states away.

I didn't know that my asking whether or not my upcoming DENTAL SURGERY would be covered would cause you to be so distraught. I'm the one who should be upset, considering – according to you – my new oral surgeon isn't part of your dental plan, and I will be paying out of pocket for some of these expenses. I think I should be the one sighing.

So how about next time you skip the hemming and hawing and answer my freaking questions?

It's not my problem is you hate your job. Join the effing club.

No compassion,
kk

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Dear Drivers Who Believe Their High Beams Are Their Regular Headlights,

When you're in bumper to bumper traffic?
On a well-lit road?
At a light at the end of an exit ramp?

TURN. THEM. OFF.

Blind in one eye,
kk

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Dear Aspiring Dunkin' Donuts Franchisee,

Can you please open up your DD near my office?

It's really too much to expect me to get into my car in the middle of the workday and drive to YOU.

The only coffee place in walking distance is Starfucks. And their hot chocolate gives me a bellyache.

Needing a fix,
kk

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Dear Leroy,

It's quite maybe somewhat very possible that I will be missing a tooth for your wedding.

I'll talk with the photographer to make sure he only photographs me from the left, on an angle, with low lighting.

There's always Photoshop,
kk