Monday, November 1, 2010

trick or 'tinis

When you don't have kids, your Halloween fun consists of handing out candy to the neighborhood rug rats. And Mr. KK and I like to celebrate a little something we call "trick or 'tini", which basically means that we enjoy handing out candy while sipping martinis. (Hey, I don't judge your traditions!)

Here's my assessment of Halloween after this year: what the hell happened to 'normal' trick-or-treating? And since when did the little ghouls and monsters become brazen mini-adults?

What happened to the good, old-fashioned trick-or-treater? The child who is under 10, accompanied by an adult, dressed in an honest-to-god REAL costume, who says "trick or treat!" when I come to the door, "thank you" after I give them a piece of candy, and "happy halloween" as they're walking away. I LOVE this trick-or-treater. 100 more of them next year, please!

This year we kept Vito home with us, because we just enjoy incessant barking and watching our little dog charge strangers at the door SO MUCH. Mr. KK was on Vito duty - thankfully - picking him up and hiding trick-or-treaters from his view about 247 times last night.

I was on door duty. My job was to answer the door and hand out candy.

Um, since when do kids just STICK THEIR GRUBBY HANDS INTO MY CANDY BOWL LIKE THEY OWN THE JOINT??? I'm not what you'd call tall, but I was standing on the step inside, holding the candy bowl up high against my chest, and wouldn't you know that there were kids who grabbed at the bowl and pulled it down to inspect the contents before diving hand-first into my bowl of loot. Where did they learn this method of trick or treating? Do they go into the school cafeteria and rip food out of the workers' hands?

And then there was the picky trick-or-treater. It was a young girl, dressed as an elephant, and her sister. I dropped a nice Reese's Peanut Butter Cup into the little elephant's bag, and she looked at me and said, "I don't like peanut butter." I thought this was ironic, since she was dressed as an elephant, and elephants LOVE peanuts (Dumbo, anyone?). So I play along and tell the little pachyderm "Well the, let's trade that in for something else!" And I take back the candy and replace it with a Hershey bar. Just as I'm hanging the Plan B candy to my little elephant, another Peanut Butter cup comes flying back into my bowl. The elephant's sister had launched HER peanut butter cup back at me, saying, "I don't like peanut butter either", and then proceeded to pull down the bowl so she could stick her head - and hands - into it.

Then there was the trick-or-treater who yelled "Don't forget to vote!" after he got his candy and was running down the driveway.

Or the one who made my night by saying, "OHMYGOD this are my FAVORITE-EST candies!" when I handed over a package of Whoppers and Sour Patch Kids.

And that was all before I finished my first martini.

4 comments:

happy_wife said...

I agree manners have gone OUT the window. I swear, if my kid ever gets greedy like that he will get strangled by a candy-wrapper-rope.

And since when have Reece's been crap candy? Cause in my neck of the woods (in the land of fictitiously grateful trick-or-treaters where the parents DON"T go to the door with a two month old while claiming they "have another kid in the car") that was the good stuff.

And in a couple years when my son is old enough to trick or treat, I plan on going as a hobo...wine in a paper bag and all. Cheers!

jane

Little Ms Blogger said...

I had 2 little girls come with their parents. The oldest was 3 and her baby sister in the stroller. I was ready to give her 5 pieces when I heard her mother say "Now, take only one." As I was letting her pick, I realized that most of my candies contained nuts or peanut butter and almost said "Oh Shit, I'm going to kill the kids with my candy because of the nuts in it."

Luckily no worries except the obscene amount of candy I have left over.

Are you doing NaNo this year?

Bren said...

We still have enough of the "good" trick or treaters to make it worth it. We did have three teenagers dressed in sweats come to the door. I immediately said NO to their request for candy (being the old grump I am!) because they weren't in costume. Their reply was "we are bedheads!". Yeah - since I was wearing the same thing I guess that means I dressed up too?

Tommiegurl said...

My hubby decided to leave our bowl of candy on the porch with a sign that said please take one and have a happy halloween. As if the honor system applys to childrens!!!!!

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