A little over a week ago I had a little surgical procedure.* The best part of surgery? The drugs! Sort of.
I'm no stranger to anesthesia, which is code for knock-out drugs and I don't always get along. Sure, I go down for the count in a millisecond, but waking up is another story. Last week was no different.
After three attempts to get myself up, I finally was able to get myself dressed and into the over-sized wheelchair. We left with post-op instructions that said:
"You will be a little out of it today. Please refrain from making important personal and business phone calls and decisions today." Apparently, the rational side of my brain would be affected by the meds. Apparently, they were right.
I was tempted to call work, because I just might not be able to control myself from quitting.
When I got home I settled onto the couch with magazines, books, a drink and the remote. My mother and mother-in-law came over to keep me company. I click on the TV for some afternoon talk show love, only to find out we have no cable. So pretty much the three of us spend the afternoon staring at each other. But not before I called the cable company to complain.
(I'm pretty sure when they go back and listen to our pre-recorded phone call, they will question not only my sanity, but my lucidness and education level).
It's a little fuzzy, but our conversation went something like this:
KK: "My TV isn't working. Well, the TV is working, but the cable isn't. Well, the box goes on, but I can't see any picture."
CABLE OPERATOR: "Hey, it's looks like you guys were cheapskates when you signed up for cable and don't have any of the good channels. For only $5 more a month – (read: making your cable bill almost as much as your mortgage) – you can get all of the channels."
KK: "Even the Style network? So I can watch all the new episodes of Guiliana and Bill???"
CABLE OPERATOR: "Yes! Let me add that to your bill right now."
And then I picked up the computer...
When Mr. KK came home, he was greeted with this message:
"Hey! You're home! Guess what? I called the cable company and we get ALL the channels now! And you know what else? I bought some stuff at Banana Republic! And new shoes from Piperlime! Oh! And I booked a weekend trip to Boston! And..."
And that was all BEFORE I took the percocets.
*I'm alive. No worries.