Thursday, January 21, 2010
HGTV: you complete me
Now, please come and complete my house!
I've been watching so much HGTV that I've been dreaming in damask wallpaper, and hearing little voices in my head whispering phrases like "open concept" and "water feature".
Even Mr. KK is starting to feel the effects. The other night during dinner he exclaimed, "If I hear the name Jamie Durie one more time, I'm going to kill myself." Perhaps he was being a little dramatic. Afterall, Jamie Durie IS America's best new import. Who only remodels the backyards of millionaires. With no shirt on.
So then I had one of my brilliant* ideas. I spend SO MUCH TIME watching HGTV, wouldn't it be great to be ON HGTV?
Hey Carter Oosterhouse (I just love saying his name) or Genevieve Gorder (I even loved her during her barefoot designing on Trading Spaces), I'm talking to you! I have a space for you to remodel! Come on over!
Our beautiful house has an attic, that runs the length of the house, that is completely unused.
Unless you define "being used" as area where we throw all of our crap, including:
• every photo I've ever taken since high school
• our luggage
• 4 crates of books
• wrapping paper for every major holiday
• filing cabinets
• envelopes of tax documents dating back to 2001
• the dead flies that somehow make their way in to their untimely death on the rug
It's a perfectly good space! It would make a tremendous novel-writing nook! If only it had heat! And I didn't bang my head on the eaves every time I go up there!
So I filled out an application for Dear Genevieve. And, in retrospect, I'm wondering if it was legit. It was on a webpage for 'Leopard Films'. Sure, it had a nice beauty shot of Ms. Gorder, but there was no link whatsoever to HGTV. Also? There were typos in the questions. So it's very possible that a psychopath set up the website, is collecting valuable information (such as my name and address and phone number!) to come and get me.**
*Ideas are not always as brilliant as they seem.
**Sometimes my imagination can also run wild. Sometimes.
Posted by kk at 2:16 PM