Sunday, January 31, 2010

Maybe we ARE E! material

Lately, I've found myself watching more and more reality-esque TV (no, I have not yet watched the aforementioned Jersey Shore. I'm not quite there...yet.)

My latest addiction? Guiliana and Bill.

I know, right???

I have to admit, before I started watching this show, I couldn't stand Guiliana DiPandi. I would make fun of her on E!, calling her 'Big Head' and pointing out her possible eating disorder. And I remember Bill from when I used to watch The Apprentice. Back when Trump was just starting out looking for mini Donalds to take over the world.

But somehow, these two goobers have grown on me.

I'm fascinated by their somewhat-normal lives (extremely large paychecks and glamorous job rubbing elbows with celebrities aside), nights in doing nothing and that she calls him Boo Boo. Guiliani is silly, and even with semi-scripted dialog, makes me laugh because she reminds me of, well, me. And Bill, with his levelheadedness and dry sense of humor, is just like Mr. KK.

So I was thinking...if these two could have a show, maybe Mr. KK and I could have a reality show too.

And I'm pretty sure that if we did, an episode would be something like this:

It's a Sunday morning, Mr & Mrs KK enter the grocery store. KK is sporting her no-makeup look. She silently apologizes to the public.

Mr. KK: "Want your usual today?"

The twosome grab a cart and head to Dunkin Donuts for their morning beverages.

KK: "I'll have a hot chocolate today. With whipped cream."

The two start shopping. KK takes a sip of her hot chocolate.

KK: "Ouch! I burnt my tongue!"

Mr. KK: "That happens to you every time. Seriously. Do you want brussel's sprouts this week?"

Back at home, KK starts cooking up a storm. Beef stew, stuffed peppers, split pea soup. There are pots and pans everywhere. The Food Network fills the screen of the kitchen TV.

Mr. KK: "Who, exactly, are you making all of that food for?"

KK: "Us."

Mr. KK: "How many of 'us' do you think there are?"

Mr. KK decides to begin a home improvement project.

Mr. KK: "Want to go to Home Depot with me?"

KK makes a face and squirms on the couch. A trip to Home Depot is worse than having teeth pulled. Without Novocaine. But, in an effort to spend time together and make Mr. KK's interests her own, they decide to go.

KK: "What did you come here for?"

Mr. KK: "To look around."

KK: "Don't you have a list?" Who shops without a list? "I'm bored."

Mr. KK: "Look at these floor tiles. They'd look nice in the kitchen."

KK: "Are we buying floor tiles? And redoing the kitchen?"

Mr. KK: "No."

KK: "Then I don't want to look at them. It's a tease."

Back at home, KK prepares a nice Sunday dinner.

KK: "Let's eat in front of the TV. We have lots of shows to catch up on."

Mr. KK: "I'll set up the TV trays."

KK dishes out bowls of rigatoni with bolognese sauce.

Mr. KK: "This looks good...but what happened to all that other food you made today?"

KK: "I wasn't in the mood for that tonight. I was in the mood for this."

After dinner, Mr. and Mrs. KK relax on the couch with Vito, and fall asleep watching CSI.

THE END

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