Wednesday, November 16, 2011

you'll never look at tampons the same way again

Let me preface this post by saying I do not have kids. I do not have teenagers. And I do not have teenage girls.

Let me also preface this by saying that when I was 15, I was more concerned about what I was wearing to the Friday night football game, and if I would make it to my locker before biology, than anything else.

The other day, I learned that - as a means to get a buzz during the school day - girls are soaking tampons in vodka and then shoving them up their hoo has.

My first thought was, "What a waste of perfectly good vodka!" but then I figured Moms' clubs around the globe would come after me (insert unrealistic idea of how many people read this blog) for stoning or worse: a sit-down with the PTA. So instead, I'll just think, "If you have the vodka, why don't you just drink it, for christ's sake?"

If you've ever used a tampon, you'll know that shoving it all up in there can be painful, especially if it's full of liquid and expanding. But I guess if feeling a quick buzz after the ladies' room on the way to sophomore English is what you're looking for, then why the hell not??

While I am NOT condoning this behavior (actually, I think it's completely absurd - see my comment about wasting good vodka...), I have to ask: how does vodka not drip out of your lady parts and down your legs?

Now that you're feeling the Absolut in your cootie and have the confidence to talk to the captain of the football team, how do you hold a conversation without making a puddle on the floor and having him wonder if you still pee your bed?

Why aren't 15 year old girls still dreaming of Barbie, and putting each other's bras in the freeze at sleepovers?

This, my friends, is what makes me happy I have a dog.

Read about the story here, and rethink your feminine products.

1 comment:

traceybear said...

this is totally ridiculous, are people that desperate to get drunk in school? i think i like the idea of "butt chugging" better....