Friday, November 27, 2009

Day 27 NaBloPoMo: I survived Black Friday

Ever since I was little, I loved Christmas shopping the day after thanksgiving.

I used to go every year with my Dad, and we'd spend the day picking out Clinique beauty products, knit sweaters and a bathrobe for my mother.

Mr. KK and I have started a tradition of shopping on Black Friday. Every year we've gone (last year and this year), it has rained. But we brave the crowds and head out with high hopes.

Last year, we bought ourselves a new refrigerator. I was hoping to top that with a Viking range, but Mr. KK was having none of that.

So instead, we shopped for other people on our list. And we even managed to get a few gifts bought for people.

But the best part of the day – besides late afternoon martinis at the bar – was the people watching.

Seriously, some of the best around.

I knew all the weirdos would come out on Black Friday, but I just didn't know how many of them I would see in the middle of Connecticut.

A few of the highlights:

The employee with the neoprene toe socks in the Apple store.
For some reason, this man didn't feel the need to wear shoes to work. Instead, he wore socks that made his feel look like they were wearing gloves, made out of scuba-diving material. Maybe so he wouldn't slide around on Apple's beautiful hardwood floors?

The Madonna throwback in Banana Republic.
I would have been okay if it was a FEMALE employee dressed like Madonna in her "Like A Virgin" days, but seeing a six-foot African American man wearing a red deep V cardigan, camisole, layered long necklaces and lace, fingerless glove, looking like he just left the MAC counter at Macy's and the Piercing Pagoda was taking it a bit too far.

The woman breast-feeding in public.
Those beautiful room settings that they put together in Crate and Barrel are meant to shop an envision in your own home, not to make yourself comfortable and whip out your tits. There's a time and a place for indecency, and breast-feeding on $1000 chenille is not one of them.

A new twist on teaching the birds and the bees.
A male shopper was carrying his year-old son through the stinky fragrance department at Macy's. A worker stopped by to admire how cute the kid was. She asked him the typical questions you ask a person who can barely speak (ie, 'what's your name' and 'where's your daddy').
Then she asked the question, "Where's your belly button?" and the little boy pointed to his belly.
The Macy's worker responded, "That's right! That's where your Mommy fed you when you were stuck in her belly for 9 months."
I'm pretty sure the kid started crying after that.

I would, too. Who wants to remember eating through their belly button?

I wish I could have gotten a picture of those toe socks.

Seriously, with those gripper bottoms, they'd make an awesome gift.

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